Jalopnik
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ennui countermeasure
SnowBot Has Closest Arse Freeze-A-Palooza LeMons Lap Predictions, Wins Fabulous Prizes!
Remember the You Guess The Effluency Contenders' Laps contest we had, oh, nearly a month ago? I've finally gone through the predictions, and we have a winner! More »
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Comment by FuzzlessPlushroom, ya fuckin' berk: Please tell me there are more V8olvo shirts left, because I'd be happy to pay whatever fair market value probably... 8 Responses | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons
Talking Skulls, Thor's Hammer Medallions Bring Grim Scandinavian Despair To Thunderhill
The last time the Black Metal V8olvo raced, it was black and blue... and evil. It's still evil, but- like a bleak Swedish winter of death- it's all in white now.
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Comment by Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing: Wow, what a kinky gathering...! And with accessories to match, no less. You should set up a booth at the... 4 Responses | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons
Black Metal V8olvo Hits Wall In Practice, Sawzall And Come-Along Save The Day
Whew, it's been a crazy day at Thunderhill Raceway so far, as I switch between Journalist, Racer, and Judge hats/wigs. We had a little mishap in the first hour of practice today...
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Comment by CodingParadox: Is that the factory radiator support or is that some extra bracing built in by you guys? 4 Responses | Other threads
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junkyard find
Power Steering Belt Won't Stay On? Junkyard Serpentine Idler Pulley To The Rescue!
Since many of ourcheapskatethrifty readers appreciated the tip about cheap rear-battery cables from junked BMW 325s, here's another nearly-free trick we discovered while preparing the V8 Volvo for the next race.
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Comment by UDMan: Thanks for the idea..... now it should work on the Corvair, right? 5 Responses | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons
Because It's All About The Safety: The Volvo 244 Quadra-Bumper!
OK, fine, we know the official rules state that "added structural elements which extend past the original bodywork line" aren't allowed in the 24 Hours Of LeMons, but how could anyone be against this kind of safety enhancement? Actually, that display is the result of a game of Volvo 240 Musical Chairs, in which you take one Volvo race car, the free parts car obtained to help build the race car, and another free Volvo… and you mix them all together and end up with two Volvo racers and a well-picked-over (but still useful) parts car to bring to the 24 Hours Of LeMons Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza in December. For the rest of the story, you must jump like a Fiesta bouncing off the Quadra-Bumper!
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Comment by Dr.Danger owns the city turkeys: That quad-bumper gives you a nice large canvas to put a terrible pic. Something for the bumper-brushers. largest and longest goatse'd. gross... 6 Responses | Other threads
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rat rod
Before They Called Them Rat Rods: Hellhammer's Caddy-Powered Model T
When we brought a car with a crazy engine/transmission swap and some wild junkyard suspension mods to the 24 Hours of LeMons race, some folks thought it wouldn't last a dozen laps... but we knew better. You see, we've got the mighty Hellhammer, aka Junkyard Dave Schaible, as crew chief, and this guy can build anything. Here's one of my favorite Hellhammer projects: one of the first- if not the first- of the current generation of Northern California rat rods, built back in the early 1980s. It's a Model T body (which was found, complete with bullet holes, sitting in a Castro Valley field) on a Model A frame, powered by a '49 Cadillac 331-cubic-inch engine spinning a seriously lumpy mid-50s-vintage Isky cam. It's built entirely from stuff Dave had sitting around, including a Geo Metro back seat, '40 Ford brakes, handmade headers, etc., and I'm having a tough time thinking of any vehicle that's more fun to drive. Those of you heading to the Billetproof show in September will get to see this machine in person. More »
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Comment by Evil_Genius: Hellhammer has my old truck.. Maybe the big block out of it will get reincarnated in something cool like this.. A... more » | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons altamont
When You Go From 44th To 15th Place In Six Hours, You Get A Few Dings
When racing started at Altamont on Sunday, we knew we had some catching up to do; thanks to overestimation of fuel consumption, some pit slowness, and a penalty incurred by yours truly (more on that later), we started the day in 44th place out of 90 cars. We had the power, we had the skilled drivers, and we had a block of Swedish steel that could shrug off hits from the biggest opponents. And, speaking of the biggest opponents, a certain bullying orange Plymouth fared quite badly in a series of paint-trading incidents with our own WhatWouldJesseDo; see that orange paint on the tire in the image above? More »
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Comment by whatwouldjessedo: @Harms: Well, I hope I didn't do anything to piss anybody off out there. If I did, my defense is beginner's... more » | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons altamont
Yes, Those Were Vacuum-Operated Skulls On The Black Metal V8olvo's Roof
With all the excitement of the race, I totally forgot to post photos of what the Black Metal V8olvo actually looked like by the time we had it all painted and bedecaled. Thing is, we didn't have time to apply the decals until we actually got the car to the racetrack. First of all, some commenters have wondered about the skulls mounted on the front edge of the car's roof. Those aren't just decorative skulls that just sit there. Hell, no! These are anatomically correct med-student skull replicas, and they're equipped with crowns of plumber's tape, Fiat indicator lights for eyes, and Dodge minivan vacuum motors operating the jaws! With high manifold vacuum (i.e., idling, cruising, decelerating), the vacuum motor pulls the skull's jaw shut; low manifold vacuum (i.e., gas pedal mashed to the floor) allows springs to pull the jaw open. I'll write up the fascinating details of how to build such important racing accessories for yourself, but for now let's check out the nice "before getting beat to hell" photos of the car. More »
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Comment by Murilee Martin: @turbo zero: Wayne is a team member who didn't get in a lot of the photos I posted on the... more » | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons altamont
Black Metal V8olvo Moving Up Through Ranks, But Taking A Beating
So we put in the Loverman followed by Viergangfuchs this morning and started knocking off some quick laps, passing like crazy and moving up to the 20s in the standings; Mr. Baruth has our best lap time, with 51 seconds. Now the Evil Genius is driving, and he's also fast as hell. However, the level of competition is getting ratcheted up, tempers are flaring a bit out there, and we're dishing out and receiving some damage in the heat of the action; the front suspension just needed some major toe adjustments after a bit of mutual metal grunching with our friend Xarg's Cavalier wagon. Sorry, guys! Meanwhile, the Porcubimmer, after leading for a while yesterday, has been de-quilled by various mechanical maladies; full report later.
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Comment by Novaload Misses Murilee: @DoctorNine: That would completely rock if they just played and sang and stopped with cutaways to the vogue face closeups.... more » | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons altamont
Life, Racing Go On
There was definitely a sense of gloom hanging over the pits this morning, but just about everyone here felt that we ought to go out and have fun doing what the late Mr. Summerfield loved doing: racing. The number of cars out on the track is quite a bit smaller than what we had yesterday, as mechanical failures take their toll (though Jay Lamm's rigorous "don't hit each other" policy is working well, with not many cars getting sidelined by enduro-style damage). Team Black Metal V8olvo is now in Full Hammer Down Mode, with our fast drivers out there and our car rising in the standings (at last check, we were #34). Our goal: to be the fastest Swedish car! I may not have time to post for a while, as I'm on pit duty and my driving turn is coming up shortly, but will do my best.
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Comment by so I goes to the landlady...: @TexanIdiot25: A few of the links come back as the 'author' has removed the item...but here's my take. I've not been a... more » | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons altamont
The Race Is On!
And here comes pride up the backstretch! I'm the next driver up, so this will be brief: right now our friends on Team Porcubimmer are in first place! Black Metal V8olvo is in "preserve the car" mode, so we're running in the middle of the pack now. The car seems to be doing all right, although those of you who predicted that the Mercedes-Benz radiator would leak have been proven correct (not a serious leak, fortunately, and we have a spare).
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Comment by Novaload Misses Murilee: Jeez, I hate trying to read those blogs. You're right, @TexanIdiot25. They are saying someone was killed??! more » | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons altamont
Last Second Thrash, Race About To Begin!
We've spent the morning applying stickers, discussing driver strategy, and being hectored by Mr. Lamm about all the horrific penalties that await overly aggro drivers (in honor of Mother's Day, one penalty involves being forced to eat an entire meatloaf while another team member plays the role of the mother, hovering and shouting that the victim is the Least Favorite Child). I'm pretty busy now, but stay tuned for more live action when I get a breather! [24 Hours of LeMons and 24 Hours of LeMons Altamont coverage]
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Comment by dr.chophoppers coz mr. wont cut it: Bah, you left some dots off: It's "Ragnarök". more » | Other threads
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altamont lemons 2008
24 Hours of LeMons Early Birds Get Set Up At Altamont
Teams competing in the 24 Hours of LeMons race can check in and get their cars past the tech inspection judges on Friday afternoon or Saturday morning. Teams showing up on Friday get first shot at the good pit spaces, and Team Black Metal V8olvo decided to claim some real estate today. Tech inspection went smoothly and we're cleared to race. More »
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Comment by bzr: @Mark Miller, tenbeers: I just wanted to tell you good luck... A Merkur for under 500? Wow, that is...actually, pretty reasonable.... more » | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons
Black Metal V8olvo Now Equipped With Rebel Swedish Flag Roof
When your V8-powered Volvo race car already has a 5-speed, Fiero wing, and hood scoop, what more do you need? That's right, a great big Swedish Rebel Flag on the roof! We had this planned for quite a while (though several commenters read our minds and suggested the idea), and we finally made it happen last weekend. Before you go and read Señor Loverman's TTAC writeup, make the jump to check out the blow-by-blow. [The Truth About Cars] More »
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Comment by koi: I'm 100% swede, and I approve of this volvo - and it's awsome styling - for a full 110% !!! If... more » | Other threads
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24 hours of lemons
Hood Scoop Adds Dignity, Top Fuel Power To LeMons Volvo
Not long after I joined a 24 Hours of LeMons team, I attended a barbecue at a friend's house. Friend's husband, Darren, is a motorcycle mechanic, so naturally all the gearheady guys gravitated to the garage to look at grimy machinery and listen to The Atomic Bitchwax on the garage boombox... and then I saw it. Just lying there on top of a box of Honda pistons was an old battered Mr. Gasket Street Scoop. Yes! More »
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Comment by Hiroshima built my hotrod: @m3_of_doom: It's not difficult to swap it for a manual, either. Either way you don't need the whole harness, just... more » | Other threads
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