All that leads us quite nicely to Bentley. Like most prewar manufacturers, Bentley Motors was founded by a car enthusiast. Walter Owen Bentley (usually just called W.O.) and his brother H.M. began selling French cars in 1912. However, Owen couldn't stand their mediocre performance so he tuned the crankshaft and threw in aluminum pistons. During the war to end all wars, he worked for the Royal Air Force improving the design of the engine used in the Sopwith Camel and Snipe aircraft. For his good work, he was awarded 8,000 pounds sterling by the Commission for Awards to Inventors. It was a fine time to start a car company of his own.

To us, the most remarkable and noteworthy point about Bentley is that W.O. founded the company in 1920 and won Le Mans in 1924. That is, especially considering Carroll Shelby's grizzled words, "Le Mans isn't a race - it's an endurance test." Bentley went on to win Le Mans from 1927 to 1930, a remarkable achievement, largely accomplished because his cars were just so damn stout. Competitor Ettore Bugatti referred to the rival British machines as, "the world's fastest lorries," usually from the pits where his own gorgeous yet Faberge-egg-fragile machines were smoking and wheezing. The Bentleys weren't just fast and reliable, they were also innovative. W.O.'s 1924 Le Mans winner, the Bentley 3-Liter, was the first car to feature four valves per cylinder and dual spark plugs. But even with fantastic racing success, performance that was well ahead of the competition and a well-earned reputation for reliability, W.O. was having a hell of a time making ends meet. Enter the Bentley Boys.

Rapscallions? Absolutely. Ne'er-do-wells? That would be a firm and solid no. The Bentley Boys were a group of wealthy pistonheads and racers who became involved with Bentley when the marque's financial fortunes turned south in 1925. They comprised an aviator, a steeplechaser, a Sir, a doctor and even (gasp) an automotive journalist (the most righteous and revered Sydney Charles Houghton "Sammy" Davis). But chief among all the other boys was Joel Woolf "Babe" Barnato. At age two Barnato inherited millions and millions of pounds from his African diamond mining father, Barney Barnato. (When I was two I came down with an ear infection.) Impressed by W.O. and his cars, Babe Barnato became the majority shareholder of Bentley in 1925.

The Blower Bentley

Once established, Barnato along with fellow Boy Henry Birkin, convinced/forced W.O. to develop the infamous Blower model, even though Bentley knew it would be troublesome and perform poorly in endurance races. Still, Babe was the (new) boss. The Blower had an insane thirst. The normally aspirated Bentley 4½ L in racing 130 hp trim returned 15 mpg. With the Blower, Babe and the gang got their 180 hp, but just 2.5 mpg! Worse than that, it broke down constantly. Birkin however, was able to set a Brooklands Outer Circuit lap record of 138 mph in a Blower, which stood until the still-maniacal 24-L Napier Railton went 168 mph two years later. W.O. knew that the key to more power and success at Le Mans lay in a bigger engine.

In 1926 Bentley introduced the 6½ L. It was essentially the 4½ L with two extra cylinders. The OHC straight-six had four valves per cylinder and produced about 200 hp. That was more than the Blower. Better yet, the 6½ L came with the usual bulletproof Bentley reliability, a key ingredient for racing success. Ride and handling were also improved and for the first time since its founding, rival and eventual owner Rolls Royce was nervous. Still, while a fantastic car, the 6½ L was burdened with heavy, formal coachwork. It may have had the power and reliability, but it couldn't run at Le Mans.

A Speed Six In Action

In 1928 Bentley released his masterpiece, the Speed Six. Think of it as a 6½ L with twin carburetors, lighter body work and a shortened chassis. Power was up, weight was down and performance was the stuff of both history books and legend. Barnato and Birkin won Le Mans in 1929. In fact, the Speed Sixes finished first, second, third and fourth. Then, in 1930, Barnato and fellow Bentley Boy Glen Kidston did it again, in the same car. The boys nicknamed it "Old No. 1." As Babe Barnato only entered Le Mans three times (he won the 1928 race with Bernard Rubin in a Bentley 4½ L), this gives him a perfect record and one that will probably stand for all time.

Obviously, back-to-back Le Mans victories alone would qualify the Speed Six for our Fantasy Garage. Being utterly gorgeous doesn't hurt its case, either. However, there is one more piece of information that should make the Speed Six a shoe-in: the race against Le Train Bleu. While no doubt tanked one night at the Hotel Carlton in Cannes, Barnato accepted a 200 pound wager that he could drive his Speed Six to London before the Blue Train could reach Calais. So, with his amateur golfing pal Dale Bourne as second driver, Captain Barnato set off from the South of France against the French train the very next evening.

Long story short, Baranto, Bourne and the Speed Six were having drinks at the Conservative Club in London by the time the Le Train Bleu reached Calais. They in fact beat the locomotive by four minutes. (What, you thought Clarkson just thought that stuff up on his own?) For many years it was believed the car Barnato and Bourne used to beat the train was the deeply sexy Gurney-Nutting coupe, which is still known as "The Blue Train Special." Only problem is, the race took place in March 1930 and the Gurney-Nutting wasn't delivered to Barnato until May 21. Turns out that Barnato was piloting one of his three Le Mans spec Speed Sixes, not the coupe immortalized in Terrance Cuneo's painting. Oops. We do know that once delivered, Barnato had the Gurney-Nutting fitted with a bar in the back seat. We'd like a splash of champagne, please. Happy voting.

[Funny tidbit: Bentley didn't bother entering any 6½ L cars in the 1926, 1927 or 1928 Le Mans races because the cars were simply too powerful, fast and heavy for tire technology of the time.]

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The Jalopnik Fantasy Garage, So Far:
RUF RT12 | 1978 Aston Martin V8 Vantage | Honda 1300 Coupe 9 | 1931 Daimler Double Six 50 Corsica Drophead Coupe | Ferrari 288 GTO | Chevrolet Corvette ZR-1 | 1970 Buick GSX 455 | First Generation BMW M Coupe | Bugatti Veyron 16.4 | Ford GT | Citroen SM | Porsche 928 | Jensen FF | DeTomaso Vallelunga | Audi Quattro S1 | Buick GNX | Nissan Skyline R34 GT-R | Honorary Fantasy Garager: The LS1 Powered Rotus | Lamborghini LM002 | Shelby Cobra Daytona Coupe | Ferrari 250 GTO

Best Looking Se7en

From the moment it pulled into the Tapoco Lodge's parking lot Ed Hudson's 1998 Caterham Superlight R caught my eye and refused to give it back. Painted in classic Jaguar racing green with black carbon fiber bits (nosecone and fenders) this Superlight has a positively menacing stance. Also nice were the gullwing-ish half doors and carbon weave seats. Sadly, my clumsy camera work does it no justice. This Se7en would be perfect for that rare occasion that Mad Max had to attend a black tie function. A truly sinister beaut.

We Jam Econo Davey G Johnson Memorial Obscure Punk Reference Award

Due to a camera malfunction (I'm an idiot) we don't have any photos of Paul & Terry Brocious's Locost. [Update: Al Navarro to the rescue!] Which is a shame. A Locost is a homebuilt Se7en (as opposed to from a manufacturer). The phenomenon started with the publication of Ron Champion's book, Build Your Own Sports Car for as Little as £250 and Race It!. Paul (son) and Terry (father) had never even heard of a Se7en before Terry, "found plans floating around the internet." The duo built their Locost in 7 months time for around $6,000. The heart of their car is a Yamaha R1 engine. OK, it's not a Hyabusa, but still, the sucker revs to 14,000 rpm in a heart beat and blats out 170 hp. Absolutely perfect for a Se7en.

What truly makes the Brocious's car stand out is its homemade sequential paddle shifter. Just imagine banging through the gears with such a fast motor. It's like a homegrown F1 car, only several million cheaper. Almost as cool, is how they got the Locost to move backwards. To reverse, you pull a lever under the dash which engines a winch motor from an ATV. If it dies, big deal, go buy another winch motor. Another great touch was the front traverse leaf spring. Not only does it help to Americanize the car (and spin Chapman round and round in his grave), but is has to be a Se7en first. Oh, and the seats? From a Pontiac Montana. Locost indeed.

The Reason No One Died Award

Do you see that turbo? It's the size of a watermelon! And happens to be attached to a JDM SR20 motor. How much power are we talking? "Could be 600 hp," answered Bob Drye, the head of Champion Motor Cars. That's Viper power in car that weighs half as much. There aren't any doors, either. Bob says "could be" because his suicide-solution Se7en just didn't get finished in time. Still, he was kind enough to trailer it down from Virginia for all of us to stare nervously at. And I'm still breathing.

Blaze Of Glory: The Sophisticated Hoon

When Paul Roupas first dropped the hammer in his Deman USA SR27 I thought I was dead. Not because he's a poor driver (quite the opposite, actually), but because physical matter doesn't move that quickly. It was as if I was no longer bound by Newton's laws. It also didn't help that my head got smashed against the rock hard racing seat. I asked Paul and his business partner Dino Trakas about the engine. The turbocharged SR20 DET savagely dyno'd 320 hp at the wheel. Which means the motor is good for around 375 hp. And the SR27 weighs 1,400 lbs. Which is insane! If I had to guess, 60 mph shows up in about 3 seconds.

Halfway up the Dragon we stopped for photos and Paul asked if I wanted to drive it down. I should have said, "duh" but instead I politely replied, "yes." The experience from the driver's seat was quite different. The SR27 is a piece of precision machinery. There were no squeaks, rattles or detectable weaknesses. True, the stage IV clutch rendered first gear a pipe dream, but the Deman pulled as strongly in 4th as it did in 2nd. Even more impressive was the handling. Obviously, by their very nature, all Se7ens are the stuff of track day dreams. But the SR27 was even more exacting. Credit the wider front track (also an option on many Caterhams) and stiffened everything else. While the passenger seat may very well have been the most frightening place I've ever sat, from behind the wheel, I've never felt more in control.

Paul echoed my sentiments. See, when I got in the SR27 it only had 351 kilometers on the odometer. "I've never ridden in the passenger seat," Paul explained as I played psychotic bootlegger towards the North Carolina border. "How is it?" I asked him while mashing the rocket booster go pedal. "Scary!" he shouted. Massive Jalopnik bonus points for featuring the world's loudest blow off valve. Every throttle lift and upshift resulted in an infinitely pleasing, "Whoooosh!" It also happens to look great. In a word, fantastic. And the SR27 can be yours for $55,000.

Los Jalop Daily Driver

At 6'6", Doug Beckett is an unlikely Se7en proponent. Until he starts talking and you hear his Northern English brogue. He'll quickly tell you that when he lived in Old Blighty he worked on Jags, TVRs and Rolls-Royces for a living. Then he'll climb into his fiberglass, 1130 lbs. bright orange baby and, well, it all makes sense.

Doug is the President of Raleigh based Autopro Motorsports and his sole product (at the moment) is a 1992 Miata powered Westfield 7. In fact his car is essentially a cannibalized Miata. The engine, transmission, differential drive shaft (sorry Doug, "prop shaft"), axle shafts, front and rear suspension components, brakes, steering bits, wiring, exhaust and even the instruments are all Mazda. While this particular car uses the first generation 1.6-liter, the frame can accommodate later 1.8-liter mills.

It's cheap, too, with the kit starting at "$18,000 or $19,000" (one of the first things you learn when dealing with Se7en owners, is that numerical precision really isn't a top priority. The second is that you can pick 'em out of a crowd by the exhaust pipe burns on the back of their ankles and the gravel in their left ears) plus the cost of the donor car. This complete turnkey example will set you back a quite reasonable $28,950. Parts can of course be found anywhere. It's quick to build, too. Doug claims the build took him about 90 hours total and the only parts that didn't snap together were the steering and drive shafts, which had to be cut down at a local welding shop. The car's quality was exceptional, and most in attendance agreed that Doug's Westfield had that certain something that set it apart.

Other Se7ens were undeniably faster (see above) and perhaps even handled better. After a trip up and down the Dragon however, I knew this was the car I would take home. The APM Westy offered the perfect combination of raw sportiness and leisurely cruising that you can only find in a Se7en. Plus of course, like most of the others, it looks like the cat's pajamas. Doug plans on building and selling a dozen cars per year along with about 25 kits. I hope he sells a million.

Hoon Of The Dragon

It can only be Michael Dougherty, as he chased down and caught a Porsche GT3. And he had the gaul to call me crazy...

Honorary Jalopnik Fantasy Garage Inductee

Meet the Rotus. What started out a stupid, racist joke has become one of the most mind-blowing vehicles I've ever had the privilege of driving. Most rumors hold that the name Rotus is due to the fact that these cars came with rotary engines. Not true. Custer Toyota in Fredrick, Maryland thought it would be a funny name for their Japanese-parts Se7ens that used AGE Toyota Twincam engines. Get it? The Japanese can't say their Rs. While it is true that one or two wankels got tossed in under the bonnet, what sets Mazda Ebrahimi's Rotus apart is that he managed to wedge in a 440 hp LS1 small block. Let's recap before we move on: An Iranian-American named Mazda owns a Japanese-American British-themed Se7en that features a Chevy 350. If that's not Fantasy Garage material, nothing is.

If the Deman SR27 defies Newtonian physics, the Rotus messes with Einstein. It bends time and space. Weighing 1700 lbs and sending 380 horses to the wheel, Mazda freely admits that his Rotus has a hard time laying all that power down. "Other Se7ens might have me from 0-60 mph," he explained. "But I have them from 60-150 mph." And everything else on planet earth, too. All star Commenter Danio3834 is always quick to point out the difference between Japanese and American horsepower. As much as I hate to agree with him, he's right. And here's the difference.

Photographer Brian's Hair After A Run In The Rotus

In the SR27, being belted into the passenger seat is horrifying. Yet, once you get behind the wheel, all that minimally-lagged power is quite manageable. Thrilling, sure, but you can work with it. The Rotus is always horrifying. The brand new 434 hp LS3 powered Corvette does the 0-60 romp in 4.4 seconds and weighs 1,500 lbs more! This monster has to be hitting sub-3. But again, exact numbers don't matter as the Rotus hits 80 mph faster than you can start urinating. Did I mention the brakes? Again, Corvettes stop exceptionally well for 3,200 lbs. vehicles. Mazda fitted Corvette brakes to the Rotus. I can barely describe the stopping power. Long story short, it hurts. And the very best part? It runs an unregistered copy of Windows XP. Still handles like a Se7en, too.

There you have it. The 2007 Jalopnik Se7en Se7en Se7en Awards. I know I missed a lot of great cars and a lot of great people. Which is why USA7s need to invite us back next year.

Turns out Se7en owners are some of the friendliest out-and-out hoons you'll ever be lucky enough to meet. Perhaps more so than with any other car make, a Se7en reflects its owner's off-camber personality (sorry MDorks). Gather 60 or so casual Porsche owners, you'd likely hear them tell of semi-legal stock trades, golf tips and hair plugs. Ferrari owners? Stories about getting Porsche owners' sentences reduced. But after two days with Se7en owners in the eye-popping, jaw-dropping, chart-topping, heart-stopping beauty of the Great Smoky Mountains, I now know the following: the proper protocol for frogging (walk down the center of the stream, shine light in frog's eyes, throw stunned frog into sack, repeat) and how to catch carp with my bare hands while kayaking. I even met an honest-to-goodness electrical engineer from Lucas Electronics. (Yep, he knew all the jokes.) Also, of course, I learned that Colin Chapman is God. But these men (and a lady or two) are not just quirky. They are very, very serious about driving. Case in point, my new buddy/hero Michael Dougherty chased down a procession of Porches and eventually caught the leader who was driving a GT3. Michael's Caterham Se7en makes around 170 horsepower.

Everyone Loves A Non-Parade

Back on point, the gathered Se7ens seemed endless in their variety. They came equipped with a wide range of engines from vehicles as diverse as a Miata, a Yamaha R1, a Datsun 210, a Vauxhall of some description and a Camaro. Such diverse hardware meant these seemingly identical cars all possess unique personalities dictated by nothing but their owners' preferences and budgets. Yet, such wildly divergent cars are all essentially identical. One Lotus Series I in attendance wielded a 75-hp brickbat, while Bob Drye, who once stuffed a 427 into a Manta Mirage, showed up with a turbocharged, SE20-engined Se7en that kicks out "about 600 horsepower." This paradox is one of the many things that make Se7ens such captivating cars. Another reason is Chapman himself.

"The Seven was the car I dreamed about as a schoolboy. When I got the chance to build it, it was the most basic, lightest, high performance little car we could come up with... a student's car if you will – a four-wheeled motorbike."

A Beautiful Birkin

The first car I drove over the Dragon was a Lotus Elise. Describing the experience as fantastic means I am a very lazy writer. It was utterly phenomenal. The petite mid-engined Brit danced across the Dragon's 318 corners. The tires seemed to be made not of rubber but pine tar. Even my "kick and stab" driving technique (read: poor) didn't phase it, as I managed to hit 80 mph and live.

Anyone Got $28,950 They Can Lend Me?

I then climbed out of the Elise and into an Autopro Motorsports Westfield Miata-powered Se7en and raced right back up the Dragon. Time for a confession. After an entire morning of being driven up and back down the Dragon as a Se7en passenger, I was two scabs past itching to drive one myself. Doug Beckett, the President of Autopro Motorsports, agreed to let me drive his very fine fiberglass example. As I'm pulling out of the parking lot Doug asks, "You've driven one of these before, eh?" I'm so sorry Doug! The car made me do it (or was it the black lab?). Anyhow, yes friends, the very first time I ever piloted a Se7en was on the Tail of the Dragon.

Holy mother of God was it incredible! Honestly, my first thought was, "The Elise is a fat pig! What a sloppy, silly car." If the Lotus felt like it had stickum on the tires, then the Westfield was riding on invisible train tracks. The whole affair was effortless. Even with a turn every 180 feet or so, there was virtually no need to hit the brakes. The superb suspension dispatched the majority of bends as if they didn't wind in the first place. If speed did need to be shed, the vehicle's low weight (about 1130 lbs. in this case) meant that I simply needed to heel-und-toe it down a notch. The engine took care of the rest, challenge bested. Put it this way: for the final three miles of our run Doug and I were behind a Yamaha R1 ridden by the type of guy that puts his knee to the ground every time he turns. In other words, he was caning it. Meanwhile, Doug and I were four car lengths back, having a conversation and loafing along in third gear. Yes, for reals.

Al & Mazda Atop The Tail Of The Dragon

Surprisingly, my favorite part of Se7en Se7en Se7en did not occur behind the wheel. I had (finally!) found my hotel at 2:00 am Thursday night. And I dragged my sorry ass out of bed at 5:30 am to go on an early morning Dragon run. At approximately 6:30 am I met up with Al (Caterham Superlight R), Mazda Ebrahimi (LS1-powered Rotus), Norm Beaver (Caterham Se7en) and Michael Dougherty (Caterham 7) at Deal's Gap (fittingly, population: seven). Al had warned me his Superlight would be a little tight. Which is like saying Manute Bol is a little tall. I believe we finally used a shoehorn to get me seated.

Why We're Moving To Tennessee

And then our little caravan set off. There wasn't another soul on the road, just the four Se7ens cutting through the gorgeous morning fog as we wended our way to the top. For years I have been saying that California/Oregon coast right where the two states meet is the most beautiful place in America. Now I'm not so sure. There's a turn off at the top of the Dragon that over looks a bend in the river capped off by one of the Tennessee Valley's innumerable damns. Should it turn out that heaven exists, there's no way in hell it's any prettier. The sun even decided to burn through the clouds. All your picture perfect postcards are belong to the Dragon. The way back down was even more enjoyable, as the road had dried a bit and I rode in Mr. Dougherty's 100-times more comfortable Caterham. Anyway, as Al said, "Who knew 30 mph could be so fun?"

Population Se7en

Also notable was the "non-parade" (you have to get a permit to have a parade) where at 9:00 am Saturday morning around 40 Se7ens set off to traverse the Dragon. Even the most jaded Dragon watchers had to be impressed with the show of Se7en force. They even held an autocross on Sunday (which I sadly had to miss). Obviously, it was a tremendously planned and even better executed event that I'll keep with me till the end of my days. I mean, who else on earth can say that the first three cars they drove over the Tail of the Dragon were an Elise, a Se7en and a Hyundai Sonata (don't ask)? I even did the deed in the back of an F150, which legally I shouldn't talk about. Again, a big congratulations is in order to USA7s and Al Navarro for pulling off such a daring plan. As far as I know, only one speeding ticket was issued.

Tomorrow: Part II: The 2007 Jalopnik Se7en Se7en Seven Awards

Related:
I Am The Gert: Riding Shotgun In A Se7en Over Decker Canyon; All Your Kit Cars Are Belong to Carlisle;
Westfield to Build Hybrid Se7en Kit [Internal]

For part 47 of "Why My Job Is Better than Your Job," I direct your attention to how I spent my Saturday. Turns out that Jalopnik blabbermouth commenter and all around righteous dude Al Navarro is president of USA7s.com, a new club dedicated to all cars inspired by the legendary Lotus 7. He sent the Postfather a query wondering if any of us So-Cal Jalopnikos would be interested in riding a Se7en around Decker Canyon. I was screaming "YES!" at the top of my lungs. At 6:30 am. On a Tuesday. Alone in my room. I was all set to get whipped about the mountains in a Caterham by a man named Doug when freak weather caused the "Malibu Blizzard." Stupid global warming. My fantastic hoonage ride was delayed. More for those who dare to jump.

Enter Gert Burkhardt, a German electrical engineer who resides in Pasadena along with his gorgeous yellow and hand-polished aluminum South African built Birkin S3. He agreed to rattle my brain about my skull up and down some of Southern California's wildest roads. Gert sent me one final email before we set off:

Now...maybe I should mention something (because I had an embarrassing moment before). Since the car is something like a glove there is a certain size limitation. It fits me perfectly with my 195 pounds but if somebody wants to ride in it with a jeans size beyond 40 it is getting claustrophobic or just not going to work. I hope that is not a problem...

At a strapping, husky and yes — big-boned — 225lbs. I was confident that I would fit just fine. If you've never sat in a Se7en, let me assure it is nothing like a glove, as gloves tend to be soft and comfortable. No, being five-point swaddled in a Se7en is akin to being stuffed into a child's coffin. Only hotter. I spent the entire ride with my left hand holding my right arm so as to give Gert enough room to row the gears. Yeah, it's that tight.

The Se7en's acceleration is outright staggering. First of all, you are seated so low that if you wanted to, you could place your palm flat on the pavement. Second, the engine sounds as if the world's angriest, unmuffled lawnmower wants you dead. Gert claims that the 2.0L Ford Zetec engine cranks out, "170, maybe 180 horsepower." As the Birkin only weighs 1,400lbs, 60mph shows up in less than 5 seconds. Saying it feels faster is like explaining sex to a virgin. You just have to experience the thrill to understand.

We headed up Malibu Canyon and hung a right on Mulholland. Within a quarter of a mile it became apparent the chassis was ideally sorted, tightly hanging on until the very last moment and then finally breaking loose with a bit of oversteer. Gert explained that the chassis could be tuned for more oversteer but that he liked his neutral.

A dozen-dozen twists later we were blasting by the Rock Store where Schwarzenegger and Leno may or may not have been enjoying brunch. We really should have stopped, as Gert's shiny Se7en was seven-times cooler than all the hogs parked out front put together. Instead, Gert doubled-timed it up the hill to where Mulholland crosses Kanan and shifts into a much needed 55mph zone. Here Gert really opened her up and I found out what a fantastic touring car a Se7en can be. And then we got to Decker.

For those who don't know, Decker Canyon is one of the very greatest roads in all the world. It is the southern terminus of California Route 23 and connects Thousand Oaks to Malibu some ten miles later. This is the road where I nearly made Davey barf in the RS4. Here's what Wikipedia has to say;

This portion provides numerous beautiful vistas of the Santa Monica Mountains and the Pacific Ocean during daytime, but extreme caution is advisable, especially as the road nears PCH. It is a notoriously dangerous road, and the rusted chassis of cars that have gone over the side can still be seen. Bassist Philip Taylor Kramer of the rock band Iron Butterfly allegedly committed suicide by driving his van over the side along this route.

And when his crushed van was found three-days later, In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida was still playing on the eight-track. It's best to think of Decker Canyon as the N rburgring without the straightaways and with the added challenge of oncoming traffic. The Se7en ate it up. At first Gert was telling me about other roads he likes. By the time we got to Malibu, he was telling me what a fantastic hill climb Decker Canyon would make.

Now comes the Jalopnik part of the story. As the Swedish Mafia would have it, Dietrich Fat Stefan cleaved his Enzo in two about 100-yards up from where Decker Canyon dead ends into Pacific Coast Highway. This location also happens to be half-a-mile from the AC Schnitzer Memorial Nose Job Roadside Attraction. There we were, and... Gert stuffed it. Trying to perform a flashy, power-slider 180, my German pilot failed to notice a small, pointless curb. The front wheel, however, sure noticed. Long-story short, the fender was smashed against the tire. Yes friends, PCH had claimed another exotic. Or had it? "No problem," said Gert. "I always travel with tools."

And so, for the next half hour Gert and I wrenched, jacked and quite literally kicked the Birkin back into shape. I had a tiny crush on the South African kit-car before the crash. Afterwards, I was formulating a mix-tape to properly express my newfound obsession. I once helped rebuild an International Scout with little more than a brass hammer and a Sawzall. This was better. Seriously, we kicked it and made it home. It was like Han and Chewbacca beating the Millennium Falcon back into shape. Amazing. And now, dammit, I want a Se7en.

Gert's claiming that a decent used Se7en can be had for between $25,000 and $28,000, with new ones topping $40,000. If I abandon all hopes of owning a house within 100 miles of Los Angeles, I could swing a Se7en. Even if all I ever did was a mad, monthly power-blast over the Santa Monica Mountains. However, as I am about as mechanically inclined as, well, Gert's foot, mine would do very little but sit and look pretty. Until the tires went flat. Still, what a fantastic machine — yet another car for my personal spank bank fantasy garage. Sigh... [Thanks to Gert for the sweet ride and Al for the hookup] – Jonny Lieberman

Related:
Westfield to Build Hybrid Se7en Kit [Internal]