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Detroit, 2:38 AM
Wed Nov 11
30 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #billymays more →

    Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets

    Billy Mays, TV Pitchman, Dead At 50
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    "Have an old Volvo with a faded paint job? ...it's perfect."


    That is correct, Matt.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    Dear God, sweet, sweet Baby Jesus,

    Why could you not have taken the Sham-Wow guy instead?

    Billy Mays, now with angel wings for faster Oxy-cleansing ability,

    Had so many things to offer his car geek disciples.

    Like an aluminum vagina that,

    Once you slip it over your Willy,

    It feels like a New Camaro SS, or a ZR1.

    Or a Tiddy Bear Cam that would record

    Heavenly women and their blessed mounds.

    Imagine your DVD/Nav screen showing you and your buds,

    Hours and hours of material to fantasize about

    Motorboating those babies!

    Anyhow, Please Lord, God, Baby Jesus, Sweet Baby Jesus, Lord,

    If you could find some way to whack the blasphemous,

    Evil, Prick Sham-Wow Guy,

    Forever and Ever,


    Amen.

     Reply
    POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was starred POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    The only thing he couldn't mighty mend was himself.


    Good night


    sweet prince

     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    Him and the Volvo look so happy together.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    I hope all you Jalops are wearing Blue for Billy today.


    I am kind of sad, I was going to be Billy Mays for Halloween. Now I'm going to have to be The Ghost of Billy Mays.

     Reply
    Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine was starred Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/29/09

    @Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine: Probably easier, right? You can whisper instead of shout, and wear the chains of products you forged in life.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of mytdawg mytdawg
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    As a world class introvert I was always amazed at the guy. He was annoying as hell but it was still impressive. You know he could do that shit in his sleep.
     Reply
    mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    Matt, this is a fail. You should have titled this as the FIVE greatest Billy Mays car gadgets. And then for the remaining three, given us a "BUT WAIT! There's MORE! As an added bonus..."
     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    I miss him so badly. I bought some Mighty Putty to piece back together my broken heart yesterday, but it dissolved pretty quickly after initial application.


    If only I was trying to reattach the handle of a coffee mug.


    Sigh.

     Reply
    wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was starred wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was unstarred
    Image of Alphamazing Alphamazing
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    Oh fucknutatistic. We've been crosslinked to Gizmodo. Brace for impact from hundreds of idiot commenters.
     Reply
    Alphamazing was starred Alphamazing was unstarred
    Image of Geisrud Geisrud
    06/29/09

    @Alphamazing: With a welcome like that, I hope you're not expecting glorious praise for Jalopnik commentors.
     Reply
    Geisrud was starred Geisrud was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    06/29/09

    @Alphamazing: And here you up n' left a big honking piece of bait for 'em.
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of Ash Clutchem, Pokey Master Ash Clutchem, Pokey Master
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    In honor of Mr. Mays, here's one of the best informercial sendups I've ever seen. Mr. Show's "Thrilling Miracles" from the mid-1990s HBO:



    + Watch video
     Reply
    Ash Clutchem, Pokey Master was starred Ash Clutchem, Pokey Master was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_IsSlacking GitEmSteveDave_IsSlacking
    06/29/09

    @Ash78: I think Billy did some amazing send ups of his own.
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_IsSlacking was starred GitEmSteveDave_IsSlacking was unstarred
    Image of Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets

    Hey, get the hell away from FP's car, man! You're gonna ruin the "New England Patina"!
     Reply
    Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was starred Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was unstarred
    Image of engineerd engineerd
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    Will Mighty Putty help attach some soul to my Toyota Camry rental car?


    No?

     Reply
    engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred
    Image of MrBangBam MrBangBam
    06/29/09

    @engineerd wishes Deartháir a happy birthday.: You can definitely attach a (Kia) Soul.
     Reply
    MrBangBam was starred MrBangBam was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    06/29/09

    @engineerd hates hydrogen leaks: A neighbor lady has a Camry and backed it down her driveway into another neighbor's Chevy pickup. It did $3000 damage to the Camry and not a scratch on the Chevy. She didn't appreciate it when I told her she should have bought American.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of engineerd engineerd
    06/29/09

    @skaycog is ambimoustrous: Hahaha...timing is everything.


    @MrBangBam: I'd rather drive the (Kia) Soul. Seriously, how do you make a car so numb?

     Reply
    engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    I really liked Billy Mays. I enjoyed the show too.


    May God Bless Him.

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    If two hands aren't enough, baby, then just reach for my tool.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/29/09

    @SirNotAppearing: What I meant to say was, "rest in peace Billy Mays, may God keep you and protect you." Silly typo.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of PowerTryp, Starless wonder. PowerTryp, Starless wonder.
    06/29/09

    @SirNotAppearing: Easy mistake, I mean they're practically right beside eachother.
     Reply
    PowerTryp, Starless wonder. was starred PowerTryp, Starless wonder. was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    06/29/09

    @PowerTryp: You know how it is, that autocorrect on my phone messes me up every time.
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of Lost in the age of Aerostar Lost in the age of Aerostar
    06/29/09

    In reply to Eight Greatest Billy Mays Car Gadgets
    What happens now to that show "Pitchmen?" I actually liked watching it, and Billy Mays was kinda a key part of that.
     Reply
    Lost in the age of Aerostar was starred Lost in the age of Aerostar was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/29/09

    @Lost in the age of Aerostar: Sully wins.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of pj134 pj134
    06/29/09

    @pauljones: Low blow... Damn Englanders.
     Reply
    pj134 was starred pj134 was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    06/29/09

    @ambidextrous pj134: I'm an American.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
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