Jalopnik: billy gibbons

Further Innovations In LeMons Punishment: The Billy Gibbons!

Murilee Martin — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 08:00:00 EDT

As a 24 Hours Of LeMons judge, it's my duty to think up ~~sadistic~~ Solomonically wise penalties for racers who transgress The Rules. Regionally appropriate penalties are always good, and thus was born the Ozzy Osbourne Inertial Penalty Horn... but more was needed. With about 20 minutes to go before boarding the plane to Houston, it hit me: Billy Gibbons!

Yes, the front man for that Little Ol' Band From Texas is one of the heavy-dutiest car freaks in the world, so that means a real LeMons Houston racer ought to sport a beard with similar length and volume. But how to make a Billy Gibbons beard from common household items, in less than 20 minutes? No problem!

Step 1: Cut a couple dozen 3' lengths of jute rope, the hairier and itchier the better. Hey, you think Billy's beard doesn't itch? You got to make sacrifices!
Step 2: Tear off a 24" strip of cloth from an old sheet, preferably one previously used as an undercar drop cloth for a transmission swap (as was the case here).
Step 3: Tie the ropes to the cloth strip.
Step 4: Unravel the ropes, to add extra body.
Step 5: Tie cloth strip around miscreant's head, arrange beard in hair shirt-style fashion under fire suit. They'll think twice about passing on a yellow flag after that, I tell you what!

Here we see LeMons Supreme Court Justice Loverman modeling the Billy Gibbons in LeMons Circuit Court HQ (aka dive motel in hydrocarbon-scented Clute, Texas). Come on back later on for more Yeehaw It's Texas LeMons fun!

Cadzilla, A DeLorean And ZZ Top: A Boyd Coddington Tribute

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:40:00 EST

For those still continuing to cope with Boyd Coddington's death, here's a video that should put a smile on your face and maybe dry up a few of those tears. One of Coddington's most beloved custom cars was the Cadzilla, which was created for ZZ Top singer Billy Gibbons (sometimes referred to as CadZZilla). Truly a unique ride, the custom cost around $900,000 to build. This might explain why ZZ Top put Cadzilla in so many videos. Our favorite has to be the video "Doubleback" for the Back To The Future Part III soundtrack, which features both a DeLorean and Cadzilla. As always, the day is saved by three leggy young women in a custom hot rod. We love America.

Every Girl's Crazy 'Bout a Ford Coupe Man

Davey G. Johnson — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 20:00:00 EDT

Apparently, all one really needs to get a dance with the girl of his dreams is a Chuck Lombardo hot-rodded '33 Model 41, and the apparitions of Frank Beard, Dusty Hill and Billy F. Gibbons. Oh, and some spandex-clad hotties as stylists/entourage. Mostly, we don't miss the '80s. Sometimes, however, we do.

"Tales of a Rat Fink" Animated Movie Debuts at SXSW

Mike Spinelli — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 08:50:47 EST

We missed the South by Southwest festival this year due to our needing a breather from air travel. The up side is we currently enjoy tons of legroom. The down side is we missed the premiere of "Tales of a Rat Fink," an animated movie featuring the Rat Fink character created by the late kustom-kar artiste Ed "Big Daddy" Roth. The film, directed by Canadian Ron Mann, also features voice-overs by actor John Goodman, wrestler Steve Austin, ZZ Top axe-slinger (in this case it fits) Billy Gibbons, cartoonist Matt Groening, Jay freaking Leno and Beach, er, Man Brian Wilson. The film's set for wider release this fall, coinciding with two exhibitions of Roth's cars, one in Winnemucca, Nevada and the other in Los Angeles at the Petersen Museum. [Thanks to Polly for the tip.]

Sphinx Productions

ZZ Top! Honda! Who'da Thunk?

Davey G. Johnson — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 03:52:21 EST

We know we plugged Japander yesterday, but we have to go back and highlight a spot by the men who are probably the most significant celebs on the site, in car terms: ZZ Top. And they're not plugging some sort of Coddington-ized loonmobile, either. In fact, it's the sub-sub-sub compact Honda Z. Needless to say, the Right Reverend Billy G. was not cruising down the road in his V-8 Ford that particular day. If this ad went nationwide in the US, we get the feeling that concert attendance among the band's core constituency would severely drop. By the way, we should point out that Billy is a very nice man and we like him a whole lot. And after all, he bought Lester Bangs a whole wardrobe. Ah, what dichotomies we weave, no?

ZZ Top [Japander]