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Detroit, 2:43 AM
Tue Dec 1
29 posts in the last 24 hours
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[uncyclopedia.wikia.com]
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== History of "Boo Berry"''' ==
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Booberry is what appears to be a drunk, stoned blue ghost who is vaguely interested in consuming the crusty, ancient cereal created by General Mills in his name. Despite being a ghost and taking an ectoplasmic form, Booberry is still able to wear a horribly tacky orange and red derby from 1920, as well as a bright red bowtie. What physics prevent Booberry's hat from falling right through him? How was he able to staple that bowtie to his blobby wad of neck? Occasionally Booberry displays his ability to move basic objects such as spoons and spoons containing his wretched, cursed breakfast product, so we can merely guess how powerful he can truly become when he's backed into a corner or is attacked by bats infected with AIDS.
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HISTORY: Our researches have determined that Booberry is the ghost of Frank Buerins, a New York playwright born in 1878. Buerins wrote numerous plays from 1912 through 1914, but none of them met with any success whatsoever. In fact, all his plays were critical flops; during one performance of his romantic comedy "Wacky Work Wench," the theater burned down and killed 13 people, nine of them being wenches of some sort. Buerins soon found himself down and out, owing thousands of dollars and unable to find a steady job. During the summer of 1915, he met with The Devil (c) and agreed to sell his soul in exchange for a series of successful plays. This resulted in a string of blockbuster hits for Buerins, ranging from the mystery "Who Killed the Rich Guy In the Kitchen When All the Other Guests Were in the Other Room and Then the Lights Went Out?" to "Who Killed the Rich Guy In the Kitchen When All the Other Guests Were in the Other Room and Then the Lights Went Out 2: Revenge of the Butler Who Killed the Rich Guy in the Previous Play."
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Buerins died of scurvy in 1920 and his soul was immediately turned over to the Prince of Darkness. When Satan realized that the soul of Frank Buerins was very annoying and had a tendency to break things, he sold the rights of the soul to General Mills in 1973 in exchange for $100 and three minor league players to be named later. Many analysts believe ol' Scratch was the winner in this trade, as General Mills has had to put up with Booberry's notorious tirades and radical anti-government protests for years.
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That has got to be the funniest line I've read in a while.
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