Jalopnik: beaters

Concours D'Ignorance Postponed Until 2009, Crap Car Connoisseurs Wait Impatiently

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 09:40:00 EDT

In what is probably one of the greatest press communications ever issued, Alan Galbraith, the brains behind Billettproof, has let us know the first Concours D'Ignorance will have to wait another year. We're a bit disappointed that we have to wait until 2009 to celebrate the eye-gougingly bad in automotive history, but for truly perfected automotive terribleness, we will happily endure. Also, the eyebrows perk up when we see Alan mention the name of fair Flint, MI. Could he actually be eyeballing Michigan's armpit as a midwest location? We certainly hope so. Aforementioned press communique below the fold.

Dear friends of d'Ignorance, Thank you so much for your support so far in our effort to highlight the Mundane and truly Awful of the Automotive world. We have decided to wait until 2009 to inflict our show upon the automotive world. Flint Michigan was not built in a day and neither is a first rate Concours. With my grueling and ever expanding Billetproof schedule I simply did not have the time to pull together a show truly awful enough to do the bottom rung of the automotive world justice in 2008. The Concours d'Ignorance will have a presence on the Monterey Peninsula this year, so keep an eye out for something awful. We will be conducting a brand awareness campaign here and there at many of the car shows during the week. The show in 2009 will be something that even the designer of the Pontiac Aztec could be proud of. Just you wait and see.

What's The Most Disgusting Car You've Ever Driven In?

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 29 May 2008 11:40:00 EDT

There's a great song by The Coup wherein the protagonist, in true Jalopnik style, jumps from one cheap vehicle to another including a 1988 Cadillac Seville, 1981 Datsun and 1976 Ford Pinto. The lyrics include this great exchange:

Got my rearview attached with some duct tape/ Keep yo' knee right there! I'm tryinta keep that glove compartment closed playa/ The seatbelt don't work just tie it round your waist/ If you crash through the window, just cover your face/The radio gets one station on AM/it's Chinese but if you listen you could catch what they sayin

It's one of our favorites and reminds us all of those unsanitary vehicles we've had to crawl into at one time or another.

Specifically, an old friend and his array of trashed out beaters, which were always so covered in fast food wrappers, slime and cigarette ashes that passengers were encouraged to bring their own towels with them for long drives. How no one ever died in one of those cars is beyond me, but we're happy that he's living in New York where he can travel in the relatively sanitary subway cars. Anyone ride in the vagina bike taxi? It looks clean, but you can't be sure without running a blacklight over it. What's the most disgusting car you've ever driven in or, bonus points, currently own?

Save On Gas! Buy A Beater Subaru Brat!

Mark Arnold — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:20:00 EDT

It's no mystery that buying a new pious Hybrid to save money on gas is a bit counter-productive. Yeah, you'll spare pennies at the pump and score points with the eco-snob crowd, but the cost of that new car is likely to still end up costing you more than what you'll be saving on gas. But what if you could save gas with a car that's hardly costs anything to buy? That's what these gearheads are trying to do. They've parked their full-size trucks and bought old beaters for daily driver duties. Proving it can be done in style, one guy even went for a vintage Subaru Brat complete with rear-facing jump-seats! You hear that truck guys? Now you've got "gas prices" as the perfect excuse to indulge in that secret little Japanese fantasy you've always had.
[CNN]
Hat Tip to Sugi!

Shabby Dolls: An Ode to Beaters

Mike Spinelli — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 11:08:48 EDT

Writing for Farago's The Truth About Cars, Lesley Wimbush offers up a love letter to the car most likely parked outside our place of residence (or was, once upon a time): the Beater. We recall our old Ford Festivas, Honda CRXs, Oldsmobile Firenzas or Buick Centurys in in the same way remembering the girl who kissed us willingly then left for some guy with an IROC makes us grip our PDAs tighter during the sales meeting. We remember the good times — the beach runs, the parking-lot doughnuts, the Friday-night cul-de-sacs — though the bad ones, say, leaving a clapped-out transmission lying in front of a prom date's house, don't seem as bad now. Here's to you, beaters, breaking down on the New Jersey Turnpike in the rain, you $%^#@*&!

In Praise of Beaters [The Truth About Cars]

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Uncle Bumbeck's New Wheels! [internal]