Mullally discussing the vehicle choice with a fleet manager: "Well, since fuel economy is on everyone's mind, I'd like to take a compact car, but one that will be comfortable for a long drive. I'm thinking a Focus. After all, the global C1 platform has been almost universally praised, and is the foundation for highly regarded compacts including the Mazda3 and Volvo S40...what's that?...The US-spec Ford Focus is WHAT?!! Who's running this frickin' company, anyway?!!"
I am thinking this road trip should be in a nice Ford van with a couple reporters, and at least a couple groupies. There needs to be a big LCD TV in back, showing instructional porno films the entire way, to prepare him for the positions and gymnastics required at the end of the ride. Although I expect him to use a driver, there is no reason for the passengers NOT to enjoy a some mushrooms to put them in the right frame of mind. I mean it's gonna be CHRISTMAS man, absolutely CHRISTMAS! WOOOOHOO!!!!
Shit, wait, that's not a Ford anymore. Then he can take a Jaguar, and roll up in... what? Not a Ford either, huh?
Okay fine. Just go big-pimpin and roll up in a Range Rover Sport, cruisin' on 22" rims, and wi-- eh? Not a Ford anymore either?
FINE. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, but he'll just have to break out a Volvo, maybe an S70R or something, you know, conservative but still s-- what? For sale?
Well, Jesus Fuck, what the hell is left? What's he gonna do, roll up in a Ford? I mean, I know he's been told to look like he's poor and in need of money, but come on! Should he show up in a fucking hair-shirt too?
I think Ford, Gm, and Chrysler CEOs should car pool in a Chevy Volt. But it will probably be more like Wagner driving a Hummer H2 and end up towing the Ford and Chrysler products for the limp to Capitol Hill.
Wow, just wow. Can you guys tell me how long the media has run your fine democracy for? Sometimes i really feel for these executives (hear me out).. constantly on trial, always reacting to the media, when do they get any time to, you know, run the company instead of jumping through hoops for the media and shareholders etc?
Since most of us don't have the time to fly all over the country and ask Mullaly and the like what they're doing each day, we rely on "The Media" to report on it for us.
Even when they're not appeasing the general public, the executives are in fact, completely accountable to the shareholders. The shareholders own the company. They can fire the executives if they want.
(I realize that's difficult to execute in practice, but it's true)
Lastly, CEOs typically delegate most day-to-day running of the company to assorted VPs or Chief Operations officers. Most of a CEO's job could be done over the phone.
55 in the passing lane, left signal blinking the entire time. Remnants of a hastily scrapped-off McCain/Palin '08 bumper sticker right rear. Plastic Jesus on the dashboard, and a Traveler's Guide to Denny's Locations on the passenger seat.
Upon arrival, discovers that GM and Cerberus have already cut a sweet deal, due to having arrived 2 days earlier. Finds nothing left for Ford and starts the slog back to the motor City with only a 10%-off coupon for Motel 6 and Congress' sincerest thanks for stopping by.
Ponders future, considers driving all the way to Northern California and taking up glass blowing in a small sea-side town that doesn't kin to strangers and where he could change his name and start anew.
Changes satellite radio station from NPR to the Hemp Channel, throws on some old Varneys and grabs the 70 west.
@graverobber- My Yugo Nova!: Ponders future, considers driving all the way to Northern California and taking up glass blowing in a small sea-side town that doesn't kin to strangers and where he could change his name and start anew.
Rumour has it, that's Murilee's real back-story. She used to be a senior executive in the automotive industry, shortly before she snapped after having her bottom pinched one time too many.
I hear that Mullaly is getting pretty fed up with all the bum-pinching he receives as well...
@Deartháir: Except that Murilee is a mister, not a sister. Although I guess that doesn't preclude him from snapping or having his bottom pinched one time too many.
12/02/08
12/02/08
12/01/08
It does have "limo-like legroom in the second row". He would probably be comfortable after the 8 hours or so.
12/01/08
But if I were him, I would definately take the 2010 Mustang to shut everybody up about "boring" cars the u.s makes.
Im sleepy.
12/01/08
CRYsler: The Dodge Caliber
Ford: The Focus coupe...the US version...Thought you got off the hook?
General Morons: The Saturn Astra
These shitboxes should get you at least some sympathy from the Hill.
12/01/08
I'd vote for the Aveo.
12/01/08
Aveo, the only car I've ever been in that made me think suicide might be the better option.
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
H1
International CXT
H2 limo, complete w/ full bar, hookers, and Rick standing up, yelling out of the sunroof.
Rick and Nardelli could also race a ZR1 and a SRT-10. See how many tickets they rack up, and ask to get those paid for as well.
12/01/08
12/01/08
Shit, wait, that's not a Ford anymore. Then he can take a Jaguar, and roll up in... what? Not a Ford either, huh?
Okay fine. Just go big-pimpin and roll up in a Range Rover Sport, cruisin' on 22" rims, and wi-- eh? Not a Ford anymore either?
FINE. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, but he'll just have to break out a Volvo, maybe an S70R or something, you know, conservative but still s-- what? For sale?
Well, Jesus Fuck, what the hell is left? What's he gonna do, roll up in a Ford? I mean, I know he's been told to look like he's poor and in need of money, but come on! Should he show up in a fucking hair-shirt too?
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
And I second the SHO wagon. Good call.
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
Since most of us don't have the time to fly all over the country and ask Mullaly and the like what they're doing each day, we rely on "The Media" to report on it for us.
Even when they're not appeasing the general public, the executives are in fact, completely accountable to the shareholders. The shareholders own the company. They can fire the executives if they want.
(I realize that's difficult to execute in practice, but it's true)
Lastly, CEOs typically delegate most day-to-day running of the company to assorted VPs or Chief Operations officers. Most of a CEO's job could be done over the phone.
12/01/08
And he's doing a great job.
12/02/08
12/01/08
Upon arrival, discovers that GM and Cerberus have already cut a sweet deal, due to having arrived 2 days earlier. Finds nothing left for Ford and starts the slog back to the motor City with only a 10%-off coupon for Motel 6 and Congress' sincerest thanks for stopping by.
Ponders future, considers driving all the way to Northern California and taking up glass blowing in a small sea-side town that doesn't kin to strangers and where he could change his name and start anew.
Changes satellite radio station from NPR to the Hemp Channel, throws on some old Varneys and grabs the 70 west.
12/01/08
Rumour has it, that's Murilee's real back-story. She used to be a senior executive in the automotive industry, shortly before she snapped after having her bottom pinched one time too many.
I hear that Mullaly is getting pretty fed up with all the bum-pinching he receives as well...
12/02/08
12/02/08
* <- Joke
O <- Moon
o/ <- You
12/02/08
(Awesome.)
12/01/08
12/01/08