Not only do the Choppers- who go by monikers like Snooper, The Torch, and Cruiser- use state-of-the-art (for 1943) communication technology, they listen to some of the cheesiest music ever recorded. Meanwhile, a sexy Renault Dauphine-driving cop's wife is on their trail. Made on a C-movie budget that would have had even Russ Meyer screaming about limitations, The Choppers satisfies all our cinematic needs while accurately depicting the societal downward spiral that led straight to the Manson Family and the 1910 Fruitgum Company. Enjoy.


[Isotope Guerrilla Cult Theatre, via BoingBoing]

Police divers on the Georges River in Sydney have taken a break after recovering 36 cars dumped in the waterway. New tactics are required to remove the remaining 24 vehicles which are embedded deeper in the mire than a bhat fly in a Peace Corps worker's forehead. 23 of the extracted machines have been confirmed stolen prior to their arrival in their watery grave. Meanwhile, we like to imagine the Australian Schwimmpolizei sitting around the barbie, sipping beers and cranking the brothers Van Halen. That's what off-duty Australian cops do, right? [ABC, AU]

Thieves' reef formed by cars that have come to grief [Sydney Morning Herald]

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Hoon Hell! [Internal]

We've gone on record numerous times supporting the use of bait cars to snare those who would deprive us of our vehicles and/or other belongings. Now a lawyer in Florida is crying foul, saying that Daytona Beach's bait car program is tantamount to entrapment. Would somebody fire and/or disbar this guy, please? While there are plenty of laws and police tactics we don't approve of, bait car programs are pretty cut and dried ways of catching criminals in the act. Move along, Mister Barrister. Nothing to see here. – Davey G. Johnson

Local Attorney Calls Use Of Bait Cars Entrapment [WFTV Orlando]

Related:
Bait Cars Working Out Nicely in Dallas [Internal]

The Handsome Dicks at Manitoba Public Insurance have issued a mandate — if you're a Winnipegger (or commute into the city) and your car is on a list vehicles deemed a theft risk, your policy is toast unless you install a microchip immobilizer in your vehicle's ignition system. The Feds of Canadia are mandating such devices on all new vehicles sold, beginning September 1st. On the other hand, MPI is only mandating the devices for Winnipeg-associated cars and trucks. Still, what's gonna keep crooks from breaking in and jacking your Propagandhi or Weakerthans discs, eh? – Davey G. Johnson

Mandatory immobilizers: Is your car on this list? [Winnipeg Free Press]

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Hold Onto Your Children — It's The Caravanamino! [Internal]

A friend of ours who owns a pretty serious exotic IM'd us last night asking advice on shitboxes. She wants a high-mileage econobox as a runabout. We suggested the Fit (as we're loath to recommend the Prius to anyone we like — nobody wants asshole friends, after all), but she was bummed by the lack of satnav. We suggested getting the Fit and going aftermarket. After all, none of our serious rallying pals rely on beforemarket nav systems, and Alex Roy has been known to use three or four at once. Apparently, Jorge Bonillapatino of Lawrence, NJ, is of the same mind as Herr Roy. He'd allegedly jacked nav units out of a number of cars in Plainsboro, Garden State. Then the cops caught up to him. Good luck navigating your way out of this one, Jorge. – Davey G. Johnson

Man charged in theft of GPS units from cars [NJ.com]

Related:
Over the Back Fence: Apple Develops Nav System, Mercedes to Offer? [Internal]

The A-Team take down a chop shop and a crooked used car salesman with extreme prejudice, all in the name of helping out their pal ex-con pal Davey. Face takes one to the, well, er, face, Hannibal turns himself out as a limo-shoppin' rock 'n' roll mogul, B.A. is his usual William Butler Yeatsian self, and Murdock? Well, Murdock's just howlin' mad. And yes, of course the plan comes together. It is a Stephen J. Cannell production, after all. More post-jump. – Davey G. Johnson

Chopping Spree Part 3; Part 4; and Part 5

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And It's Mr. P, Yeah? [Internal]

Another day, another Dan Lienert list in my inbox. Only this time he didn't write it. Wait, that's not fair. Dan wrote the article, but he based it on the findings of the Highway Loss Data Institute (HLDI). They study all sorts of stuff, including who steals what sort of car and how often. Turns out the the Escalade EXT — perfectly described by PJ O'Rourke as "how my El Camino would dress if it had to marry Liza Minnelli" — is the car that gets pilfered most frequently. Not just most frequently, but much more frequently than the next most stolen vehicle. See, your average car (let's just assume a Camry) gets a theft rating from the HLDI of 100. The second most commonly jacked car is the BMW 7-Series with an HLDI score of 431. That means the big-butted Bimmer gets thieved just over four times more than your average ride. David Gest's pickup's score? 1,728. Our advice to you? Don't take your Escalade EXT to Las Vegas. Nice to see Cadillac back on top. – Jonny Lieberman

Most Stolen Luxury Cars [forbes.com]

Grand Theft Southwest: Your Car is Leaving Las Vegas [Internal]

Why is that cowboy hitching a ride? Because most likely his car's been stolen. Last year, 22,441 vehicles were stolen in and around Las Vegas. Which makes it the #1 place in the USA for such cruel activity. Which somehow makes Oscar Goodman proud. At first blush you might think, "Well, they're close enough to Los Angeles. Thieves can blast out to the desert, take their pick from over thirty different Bentleys with spinners and they make the Kessel Run back home before sun up." But you'd be (mostly) wrong. For if you look at the next four cities on the list — Stockton CA, Visalia-Porterville CA, Phoenix-Mesa-Scottsdale AZ and the former, three-time consecutive car-theft champion, Modesto CA — the reason becomes clear. Crystal Meth, and lots of it. We just got off the horn with Bakersfield. They're bummed they didn't make the list, but promise to try harder next year. – Jonny Lieberman

Las Vegas tops U.S. cities for car thefts [msnbc.com]

San Francisco Smash 'n' Grabs [Internal]

Where're Mike Stone and Steve Keller when you need them? While we undoubtedly have left our heart in San Francisco — something that becomes increasingly clear after every passing year we're not in the Bay Area — one thing we don't miss about Baghdad by the Bay is the absolutely nutso propensity of crooks to break into one's car. We've lived in less-than-savory parts of town before, and the only time we've had our car broken into was in SF. Five times in ten years. And three of those were within the space of eight months. But we don't come alone. We are fire, we are stone, and there are at least 15,776 vehicles in SF that feel the same way. And how many people does the SFPD have on the auto detail? Five. Yes. Five. San Francisco, we love you, but really, fuck you. You DPT us to death and then do nothing when our cars get vandalized. We wish we had a more polite response, but well, we just don't. – Davey G. Johnson

Car break-ins out of hand [SFGate]

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Les Rues de San Francisco: Parking Violations on the Installment Plan [Internal]

Presumably flush with cash in the wake of SXSW, Austin's announced that they're handing the po-po's $85k for bait cars. Jalopnik's favorite Texan city — and indeed one of its favorite cities in general — has decided that it's time for the hand of law to come down on those who make haste with another man's vehicle, and as such the APD feels it's in need of enforcement downtown between First and Seventh Streets. Which makes a boatload of sense, given the mass of vehicles that congregate down there, especially late in the week. We just always stuffed it and parked in a lot. Compared to San Francisco or LA, it's dirt cheap. – Davey G. Johnson

Austin Police Use Grant Money To Purchase Anti-Theft Cars [KXAN]

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Bait Cars Working Out Nicely in Dallas [Internal]

Case closed in accidental car theft [Boston Herald]

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Keyed! Sophisticated Unlocking Technologies Annoy the Kids [internal]

Here's one from the how'd-they-figure-that-out file. It seems a number of Mazda 3 owners in Canada have reported being victims of a super-secret way to get into their cars. Apparently, if you put a large enough dent in the side of a Mazda3, it unlatches the door and fools the computer into thinking the entry's legit. Thus, sledgehammer-wielding thieves have been relieving car owners of their possessions with relative ease. According to a Mazda source, the company's known about the problem since last October, and is working up countermeasures. In the meantime, don't believe that guy in a leopard loincloth and handlebar mustache lurking around the parking lot with a giant mallet. He may be up to no good. [Thanks to R. for the tip.] – Mike Spinelli

Breaking: Mazda 3 vehicles lock assembly issue causes alarm [Mobile]

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More on auto theft [internal]

Buddy Frazier, Jr., owner of of Chattanooga, TN's Absolute Towing and Recovery, has been busted on numerous counts of auto theft as well as charges relating to running "a shady business," according to Chattanooga authorities. Frankly, every tow yard we've ever dealt with seemed like a shady business to us. We hope they convict you and throw away the key, Frazier. It's punks like you who've ruined it for reputable, fair and decent tow-yard operators everywhere. Then again, we've never met one of those, so we're not quite sure they exist.

More Claims Of "Wrecker Rip-Offs" Surface [WTVC]

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D'oh! Fake 'No Parking' Sign Punks Residents and Cops Alike [Internal]

As a public service note to our readers, we offer you the following security tip. If you happen to be driving through Moscow and run across three naked, attractive gamines washing each other on a public, man-made beach, feel free to stop and watch. But make sure you lock your car first, as the scene could well be a ruse to drop your jaw while nefarious rapscallions abscond with your vehicle. Seriously. They ganked like dozens of cars like this in one fell swoop.

Russian strippers steal cars [Reuters]

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Tempest in a D-Cup: Will Australia's Gold Coast Metermaids be Swept Away? [Internal]

Major Las Vegas Theft Ring Bust Has Hollywood Flair

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Acura Integras Still Being Stolen [Internal]

We remember two years ago, when our Dodge was stolen in SF and recovered in Oakland, riding through the massive tow yard with two other guys. One had had his 5.0 Mustang yanked from his driveway in Cupertino and lost his brakes, blower, cylinder heads and intake manifold. Unbelievably, the other victim with us was even more unfortunate. His Integra was missing the front clip, motor, trans and seats. Plus, his wheels had been replaced with steelies so the crooks could easily dump his car. According to a survey by CCC, the Integra still remains a popular theft target, while the soon-to-be-discontinued RSX didn't even make the the top 20 on the list. Is there a correlation?

Small cars top most-stolen vehicles list [BusinessWeek]

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Freakin' French-Canadians: Auto Theft Rings in Quebec [Internal]

First they spring Celine Dion on us, and now this bit of disturbing news out of Quebec. While here in the United States we have a 67% stolen-vehicle recovery rate, in Canada, it's a staggering 2%. And Canadian gangs of thieves are targeting American-registered vehicles, re-vinning them, and in many cases, selling the cars right back into the USA or shipping them overseas. It's an especially big problem in Montreal due to the tourist industry, and in some cases, the cars are actually ordered by overseas customers. Jean-Claude, un jeune Range Rover, merci?

Canadian theft rings scooping up American cars [Deseret News]

Related:
Dodge Charger Prime Theft Target? [Internal]