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Audi R8: Supercar Teardown

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pres
06/09/09

In reply to Audi R8: Supercar Teardown
Superior engineering my ass.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

In reply to Audi R8: Supercar Teardown
I don't give two shits about how difficult it is to do a repair, aside from its big brother Veyron, this is the greatest all-around supercar in the world.

If you want something that's easy to fix, don't buy a supercar. Remember the rule? Fast, cheap, reliable; pick any two, because you can't have all three. I hear a Tempo is nice and easy to work on. Go get one of those, and shut the fuck up about how difficult the R8 is to repair.
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engineerd
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: Are you ok? You seem a little cranky.
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The Auto Insider
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: /bitchslap
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: Did someone drive that three-wheeler up your.....nevermind.

Have a drink, you'll feell better.
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Jo Schmo
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: I'm beginning to wonder where that SingoFinger has been...
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: Easy there, buddy. You know I love R*s. Sounds like someone just got the bill for the oil change on theirs, and they tacked on the air fare for the technician from Ingolstadt.
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engineerd
06/09/09

@leavethegun-takethecannoli: That might be it. Is there not enough scotch in Deartháir's bloodstream?

Oh, and I agree with everything Deartháir said.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@engineerd has lost the funny: I am a little cranky. I came into this article and drooled a little over the Bruce. And then got promptly kicked straight into a bad mood by our resident troll. No, it's not a fucking Corvette, thanks for pointing that out. Why is an R8 harder to work on? Because it's fucking MID-ENGINED. Do I need to go over that again with smaller words?

Must walk away, must not respond to trolls, must not get pissed off that I don't have Banhammer powers...
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: You know how certain towns have mayor for the day- well once a month Jalopnik should have "Banhammerer for the Day." They would pick, or we would vote, for a commenter to get the Banhammer privilege for the day. What do you think?
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A strolling player
06/09/09

@Jo Schmo: His new job isn't very Jalop-friendly. Sad day :(

@Deartháir and cannoli: Seriously, why didn't he just stay b& the first time?!
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@leavethegun-takethecannoli: I think it would be a very bad idea if I ended up with it on a day where I hadn't had enough coffee. We'd need Jim Ross from the World Wrasslin Federation to follow me around yelling, "OH, THE CARNAGE! OH, THE HUMANITY!"
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beercheck
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: Except that it's bent-dick ugly.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@beercheck: See, I am perfectly okay with people thinking the R8 is unattractive. I acknowledge that there are different tastes out there, and not everything is going to suit everyone.

Hell, I hear there are even people out there who think the Camaro is attractive. Of course, these people are dead wrong, but clearly opinions vary.
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engineerd
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: I must have glossed right over that the first time.

Maybe my superpower is ignoring ignorance!
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Scandinavian Flick
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: I was going to offer you this:

But then I saw your reasoning post. Yeah, the troll needs to go...

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beercheck
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: The R8 is like the Juliette Lewis of supercars, but with two black eyes and dirty ass cheeks. There's plenty of sexy there still, but....
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: I could live with that, as long as I had immunity.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@beercheck: Hm. Not a bad analogy... and not a bad image either, depending on the circumstances...
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combat chuck
06/09/09

In reply to Audi R8: Supercar Teardown
I hope for the owner's sake that it was still under warranty. That job looks pricey.
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engineerd
06/09/09

In reply to Audi R8: Supercar Teardown
Suddenly, the location of the alternator in the Escape doesn't seem so bad.

I'm digging the custom fender cover, though. I wonder if they have one perfectly tailored to the curves and bends of the 2008 Mustang fender? Ah, who am I kidding. My car is still dealer serviced. At least for another 15000 miles.
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d3c509b aka Steve
06/09/09

@engineerd has lost the funny: agreed. those finder covers are slick!

Do they really need to have AUDI embroidered on them?

Answer: yes.
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Skunky
06/09/09

@d3c509b aka Steve: Pfft, any counterfeiter could slap four circles on a fender cover and call it "official." You know it's really Audi when it's embroidered.
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smalleyxb122
06/09/09

In reply to Audi R8: Supercar Teardown
Custom tailored fender covers? Fancy.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
06/09/09

In reply to Audi R8: Supercar Teardown
OK sir, we got that left rear blinker replaced, and once we have removed the front suspension we'll have those new windshield wipers installed in no time.
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
06/09/09

In reply to Audi R8: Supercar Teardown
I love those minor repair chores where the 85-step repair sequence begins:

1. Remove Engine.
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InfinitisEnd
06/09/09

@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet:

Assembly is the opposite of removal.
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Skunky
06/09/09

@InfinitisEnd: Repeat as necessary.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: I still remember the manual for my Buick Century. I tried to replace a burned-out taillight bulb -- one of, what, 40 they put across the back of that fucking car?? -- and turned to the manual for instructions.

The manual read:

Taillight bulb replacement:

Do not attempt. Take to your local GM service centre, as this should only be performed by GM-certified technicians.

Really? Replacing a bulb? Okay. So I took it in. Estimated time required, 3 hours. Estimated cost, $240.

Hahahahahahaha fuck right off. They must have had to remove the engine as well, because I had pulled the engine out of that car in about an hour. I can't see what, in replacing a bulb, would take three hours.
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SlowMo (actually, there's no E on my R)
06/09/09

@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: I had that experience with a 60's XKE. My boss wanted me to take the engine out of it so it could be rebuilt. I had never worked on a XKE before so I picked up a Haynes manual and the first step read, "remove driver's seat."
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: Manual written by GM's accounting department, and reviewed for accuracy by the dealer association.
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horspowr1001
06/09/09

@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: The 3rd Gen Mitsubishi Eclipse (00-05) V6 Models required you to remove the engine to access the rear 3 spark plugs.

Back then I wasn't even an engineer yet, and I still thought it was a stupid idea.

I should get paid more.
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
06/09/09

@SlowMo -the anti-star: You see that, and you just know it's going to be a long day. And it will require vastly more beer than usual.

Sometimes you can cheat a bit, like wriggling the oil pan out without removing the subframe's crossmember. Or you can ALMOST do it, but then it takes you three times longer, and a lot more thrown wrenches.

I replaced my oil pump - which happens to be on indecently intimate terms with the nether regions of the firewall. It's literally at the center of the car. Only took about three hours to get those four bolts back in and tight without cross threading them. Or I could have gotten out a chain hoist and removed most of the engine mounts, some wires and pipes, and had a fairly clear shot at it. Wish I had a chain hoist.
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
06/09/09

@horspowr1001: Big '70's GM V-8s has two rear spark plugs under the AC compressor. There was a special spark plug wrench that made getting at them easier. But no one had one because they were too cheap. With time and dedication you could coax those plugs out. Mostly they looked like they'd never been touched and were pretty crusty.

I hear Pacer's had an access port cut into the firewall, so you could get at the rearmost plug from the interior.
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brandegee
06/09/09

@horspowr1001: You're kidding right? I thought that sort of stupidity (for normal cars) ended with the V8 Vega.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: I believe it was the '88 - '91 Chevy Blazer with the manual transmission that required you to lift the body off the frame by a few inches to replace the clutch. But don't worry, it's only by a few inches. Seriously, the body off the frame?? Really? Someone didn't foresee this being a problem with a part that does actually require replacement on a regular basis?
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RLJ676-LS3 Commuter Car - for the environment
06/09/09

In reply to Audi R8: Supercar Teardown
Well that seems like an easy and cheap operation for a minor replacement.
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zeeboid
06/09/09

@RLJ676-LS3 Commuter Car - for the environment: Agreed. Allmost as bad as on a Corvette ZR1:

Oh wait, no, its easier. but... the ZR1 costs less, is faster, more powerful, better daily driver, better on the twisties, better in the straights...

Why are they making the R8 again?

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nataku8_e30
06/09/09

@zeeboid: Because there are enough people in the world who wouldn't drive a Chevy, even if it's a vastly superior car.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@zeeboid: Why are they making the R8 again?

Because not everyone is a balding dentist with a mid-life crisis?
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ManicSquirrel is preparing for winter
06/09/09

@zeeboid:

I wouldn't go so far as to say the vette is a better daily driver....
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@nataku83: Vastly superior... if you don't care about things like, say, comfort.
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Hello Mister Walrus
06/09/09

@zeeboid: The R8 is a luxury performance car. The Corvette ZR1 is just a performance car. Comparing the two by performance alone is like saying that if your Cobalt SS is as fast as a Rolls Royce, they must be equal cars.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: THANK YOU. Fucking heart-click for you. The sheer stupidity caused my brain to short-circuit for a minute there, you managed to flip the breaker for me.
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A strolling player
06/09/09

@Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: Hey. My dad's a balding doctor.
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A strolling player
06/09/09

@A strolling player got Singofingered: And he bought a Corvette instead. What are we talking about anyway?
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Chaparral
06/09/09

@ManicSquirrel: The vette has better visibility and more cargo space. Most reviews of the ZR1 talk about how ridiculously usable the ZR1 is, is there anything that the R8 does so much better that makes up for its lack of cargo and rear visibility? If it was a daily driver I would like to pick up groceries every once in awhile or drop off someone at the airport with luggage.
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civicdrivr
06/09/09

@Chaparral: My friends-uncles-friend has a ZR-1. He wish he never got rid of his Z06. He says the ZR-1 refuses to hook up and is actually slower.

He also only got $53k for the trade of his 07 Z06 with less then 1,400 miles on it, which he paid over $80k for when new.

Something tells me you wont lose that much on the R8 when it comes time to sell.
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@Chaparral: And, hey, a Grand Caravan has even more cargo space!

Come for a drive in Canada for about 8 months of the year, I'll explain to you in great detail why the R8 is more capable than the ZR1. The R8 is a year-round, luxury supercar. The Corvette is a supercar.
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brownie has no witty phrase to add
06/09/09

@Chaparral: And a Prius is more usable, has better visibility, gets better mileage and has more cargo space than both. What's your point?
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Scandinavian Flick
06/09/09

@Chaparral: is there anything that the R8 does so much better that makes up for its lack of cargo and rear visibility?

Yeah, it puts the engine in the middle...

If you want cagro space, there are awesomely sick cars for that too:

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.357
06/09/09

@zeeboid: R8 is more of a luxurious supercar, while the ZR1 is about power and speed.
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Chaparral
06/09/09

@brownie demands JFG revival: @Deartháir - Now with more SingoFinger™!: My point was simply that the vette is a better daily driver than the R8, not that no car is a better daily driver than the vette.

I have known people that have used vettes and boxsters year round in Chicago. Now I will grant you there are probably worse places that would put a priority on AWD, but from my experience in winter it is less getting going that causes problems and more braking and turning, neither of which does AWD help. Really the AWD is best in hilly areas that lack proper snow removal.

Your whole "Canada" argument is academic anyhow. According to my american education, Canadian's primarily use dog sleds for transport between socialized medicine and hockey. Simply parking a Zr1 or a R8 inside you primary residence would melt the snow it is built out of. We might as well debate what is the best pair of ice skates if you live in Somolia.
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Mad_Science
06/09/09

@civicdrivr: Please tell me this comment was "in character".
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Deartháir II
06/09/09

@Chaparral: Actually, AWD helps in every aspect, not just getting going. A smart winter driver knows not to use the brakes unless absolutely necessary, and even then, only in combination with engine braking. It also helps significantly in cornering because you have four powered wheels to potentially pull you out of a slide. In winter, in fairness, AWD > anything else.

Cheers on having a sense of humour about this; but as brownie points out, you DID call everyone out, asking if there was anything the R8 did better.
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