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Detroit, 7:54 PM
Fri Nov 20
28 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #audi more →

    Audi A7 SportsAssCrossHatchTour Gets Naked, Opens Huge Rear End

    VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"

    Automaker Future "Youthmobile" Concepts Are Wacky

    A Leopard Casually Hanging Out Of Car Window

    Audi Taunts Ferrari On Their Own Turf

    Automotive Survivors Part II: More Cars Made For At Least 20 Years

    Dope Gets Dope Audi Tattoo

    2012 Audi RS4 Spotted With Huge Fenders, Maybe

    Audi R8 USB Drive Won't Break Data Transmissions

    Audi R8 USB Drive

  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Brimful of Ash on the 78 Brimful of Ash on the 78
    02:27 PM

    In reply to Audi A7 SportsAssCrossHatchTour Gets Naked, Opens Huge Rear End
    Because once you have the prick market cornered, you have to start building vehicles that apply to their ex-wives, too. Something about a "sphere of influence"

    "Mommy, daddy's car has a nicer back seat."

    "Oh yeah?"
     Reply
    Brimful of Ash on the 78 was starred Brimful of Ash on the 78 was unstarred
    Image of ArtForge ArtForge
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Who cares? It doesn't have a diamond dust paint job! ;P #audir8v10
     Reply
    ArtForge was starred ArtForge was unstarred
    Image of ArtForge ArtForge
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Love me some top Gear but I won't take driving tips from a man who has to wear a grandfather clock as a wristwatch. That and the part where the supercar sticks to the track thing. Give me a 60k Atom, then we will talk about tracks and engineering. #audir8v10
     Reply
    ArtForge was starred ArtForge was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    There must always be a fast blue car, which resides in a little corner of heaven, in my mind. It isn't the realization of this dream which beckons; I could stretch and actually make it mine, with a small exercise of effort and intent. Rather, this car exists more as an icon in the pantheon of my desire. As such, it is better to leave the appetite unwhetted. Because to appreciate the psychic pull of this desire, is to be alive. Yes? #audir8v10
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of Uncle Bo Uncle Bo
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Love it in blue. Would love it more if a blue ZR-1 drove up behind it and flashed its headlights. #audir8v10
     Reply
    Uncle Bo was starred Uncle Bo was unstarred
    Image of Ford Tempo Fanatic Ford Tempo Fanatic
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Perfection is over rated anyway. #audir8v10
     Reply
    Ford Tempo Fanatic was starred Ford Tempo Fanatic was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Once there was an elephant,
    Who tried to use the telephant
    No! no! I mean an elephone
    Who tried to use the telephone
    (Dear me! I am not certain quite
    That even now I've got it right.)
    Howe'er it was, he got his trunk
    Entangled in the telephunk;
    The more he tried to get it free,
    The louder buzzed the telephee
    (I fear I'd better drop the song
    Of elephop and telephong!)

    So I read this when I was in 11th grade in a poetry jam, and broke out laughing uncontrollably, no doubt frightening the a classroom full of younger students and their teachers. There's no way my teacher can forget me. No way. #audir8v10
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of skaycog was here skaycog was here
    11/17/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: You're unbelievable. I had to memorize something in school that I can't forget either. It was part of the "Ancient Mariner".

    And then there came both mist and snow.
    And it grew wondrous cold.
    And ice mast high came floating by, as green as emerald.
    And through the drifts the snowy cliffs did send their dismal sheen.
    Blah, blah, blah.

    I like your elephant poem better. #audir8v10
     Reply
    skaycog was here was starred skaycog was here was unstarred
    Image of Touched Touched
    11/17/09

    @skaycog: You sir have memorized part of a classic and wondrous poem.

    It may not fit well into a Jalopnik comment, but you can feel assured that poem will last the test of time when the elephant poem is long gone.

    As for me we had to memorize the opening lines of the Canterbury Tales (in Ye Olde English to boot). I can't even spell them close to correctly, so I won't attempt to reproduce them here, but rest assured I have found no use for them whatsoever. However, I am quite pleased that I can remember them word for word now many years later. #audir8v10
     Reply
    skaycog promoted this comment Touched was starred Touched was unstarred
    Image of golferal - Now with no Segway! golferal - Now with no Segway!
    11/17/09

    @skaycog:
    There once was anold lady that lived in a shoe
    She had so many kids
    Her uterus fell out..

    -Andrew Dice Clay #audir8v10
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick promoted this comment golferal - Now with no Segway! was starred golferal - Now with no Segway! was unstarred
    Image of skaycog was here skaycog was here
    11/17/09

    @Touched: You'll never forget it, even if you try. BTW, I'm not a sir. #audir8v10
     Reply
    skaycog was here was starred skaycog was here was unstarred
    Image of Touched Touched
    11/17/09

    @skaycog: Humble apologies.

    It is also worthwhile to re-read many of those old books from literature class. As an adult, I've found quite a bit of interest in several of the books which I could barely finish in my high school/college days. #audir8v10
     Reply
    Touched was starred Touched was unstarred
    Image of skaycog was here skaycog was here
    11/17/09

    @Touched: No apologies needed....how were you to know?

    I wish I'd paid more attention to lots of things in school, now that I'm an adult. Oh well, no use looking back. #audir8v10
     Reply
    skaycog was here was starred skaycog was here was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    11/17/09

    @skaycog: If you keep looking back, you end up tripping over your feet, on the way down the road to where ever you are going. #audir8v10
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of skaycog was here skaycog was here
    11/18/09

    @DoctorNine: Exactly! I guess that's why they call the past history. ;)
     Reply
    skaycog was here was starred skaycog was here was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/17/09

    In reply to VIDEO: Jeremy Clarkson On Audi R8 5.2 FSI: "Perfect"
    Where is he? Klaas Zwart's summer home? #audir8v10
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of fstrthnu fstrthnu
    11/18/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: Ascari's track actually
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus promoted this comment Edited by fstrthnu at 11/18/09 12:06 AM fstrthnu was starred fstrthnu was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/18/09

    @fstrthnu: Ascari's track, which is owned by Klass Zwart as with Ascari itself.
     Reply
    Edited by Pessimippopotamus at 11/18/09 3:05 AM Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of fstrthnu fstrthnu
    11/18/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: ...and you have officially owned me.

    #tips
     Reply
    fstrthnu was starred fstrthnu was unstarred
    Image of LuciferV8 LuciferV8
    11/10/09

    In reply to Automaker Future "Youthmobile" Concepts Are Wacky
    I call BS on this one. We all know that cars "aimed at the young" end up being bought by old people trying to look hip. All of those cars look way too hard to climb into for the real target demographic. #conceptcars
     Reply
    LuciferV8 was starred LuciferV8 was unstarred
    Image of oddfish oddfish
    11/10/09

    @LuciferV8: Ugh, the slew of women in their 40s driving Scion xBs was funny in a sad sort of way. #conceptcars
     Reply
    LuciferV8 promoted this comment oddfish was starred oddfish was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/10/09

    In reply to Automaker Future "Youthmobile" Concepts Are Wacky
    Once again Audi and Mazda are the only noteworthy examples of clear design direction. While the other manufacturer's run nillywilly with their nonsensical unfocused designs, Audi and Mazda have instantly recognizable elements that hopefully survive to 2030. #conceptcars
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of snapoversteer 'bout to get told snapoversteer 'bout to get told
    11/10/09

    In reply to Automaker Future "Youthmobile" Concepts Are Wacky
    I'm having an irresistable urge to denigrate both the designs and the hare-brained ideas on which they're based. I must be getting old. #conceptcars
     Reply
    snapoversteer 'bout to get told was starred snapoversteer 'bout to get told was unstarred
    Image of bzr bzr
    11/10/09

    In reply to Automaker Future "Youthmobile" Concepts Are Wacky
    Once you enter your destination into the navi app on your smart phone, you can play against the vehicle to "win" complete control over the system and gain access to increasingly outrageous driving scenarios.

    I love the sound of this. I think it'll be hilarious to see kids being forced to square off against a War Games computer every time they want to go somewhere. Didn't make the high score? The car's taking you to Boise! Wanna go to Starbucks? Fat chance, gotta beat the Parnelli Jones boss at his own game! Why didn't you go to school today, Junior? I was driving there, but I couldn't get the Star Power 4x multiplier at 48,375 points and the car sent me the wrong way down an on-ramp! #conceptcars
     Reply
    bzr was starred bzr was unstarred
    Image of Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe) Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe)
    11/10/09

    @bzr: "Dangit... I can't remember how to parallel park."

    "Oh, that's simple! Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, Up and then Down. Easy!" #conceptcars
     Reply
    bzr promoted this comment Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe) was starred Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe) was unstarred
    Image of that ain't the way to have fun, son that ain't the way to have fun, son
    11/10/09

    In reply to Automaker Future "Youthmobile" Concepts Are Wacky
    Crackpipe. #conceptcars
     Reply
    that ain't the way to have fun, son was starred that ain't the way to have fun, son was unstarred
    Image of HoonThatFerrari HoonThatFerrari
    10/29/09

    In reply to A Leopard Casually Hanging Out Of Car Window
    MECHANIC: "Joe's Auto Repair, can I help you?"
    CALLER" "Zdrahstvooy! I have car I need bring in for syervice"
    MECHANIC: "For what?"
    CALLER: "Syervice... ah, how you say - I need work done?"
    MECHANIC: "Just like that."
    CALLER: "What?"
    MECHANIC: "You say it just like that - 'I... need... work...done.'"
    CALLER: "Prekrasnah! Now we get somewhere! OK, I have car making funny sound from back syeat."
    MECHANIC: "What kyind... I mean KIND of sound?"
    CALLER: "Sounds like, ehh... 'tyap-tyap-tyap'."
    MECHANIC: "Tap-tap-tap, huh? Well, it's probably just something loose back there, then; bring it on by & we'll have a look at it."
    CALLER: "OK, but a hyave to warn you - it's got a lyeopard in it."
    MECHANIC: "What? a LEPER? Dude, you can't bring a car by here with a leper in it... in fact, I'm gonna have to check with my boss... he may not want you bringing it here at ALL, even if you take the leper out!"
    CALLER: "Durach! Not lyeper, a LYEP-ARD.... big spotted cat."
    MECHANIC: "That's even worse, I know the boss won't go for that. We don't have workman's comp insurance to cover that - well, I'm pretty sure we don't, anyway.
    CALLER: "What if I get lyeopard out first?"
    MECHANIC: "That'd be the way to go... maybe I can get to it after the Diablo."
    CALLER: "You need finish Dyiablo job first?"
    MECHANIC: "Yeah, this lady called & said she wanted to give me a Diablo job... couldn't turn her down."
    CALLER: "And who can blame you?"
    MECHANIC: "Wait, I almost forgot - first I have to finish the Diablo job... then Bora."
    CALLER: "You one lyucky bastard for a mechyanyic! Hey, wait... I just found tyapping noise."
    MECHANIC: "Oh? What was it?"
    CALLER: "Looks like Lyeopard coughed up hairball.. was just last passengers' skull rolling around in back seat! Hah! HAHAHAHA!"
    MECHANIC: "Leopard in your car? Last passengers' skull? I don't even wanna know what kind of work you do."
    CALLER: "Oh, is SYEEMPLE... I work for FIAT, here on tyemporary assyignment in 'Brand Downsizing' Division. #auditt
     Reply
    HoonThatFerrari was starred HoonThatFerrari was unstarred
    Image of HoonThatFerrari HoonThatFerrari
    10/29/09

    In reply to A Leopard Casually Hanging Out Of Car Window
    ARGH! editing.
     Reply
    Edited by HoonThatFerrari at 10/29/09 9:35 PM HoonThatFerrari was starred HoonThatFerrari was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

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