Jalopnik: ASTRO

Strippers! Hobos! Vans! Hobo Stripper!

Davey G. Johnson — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Generally, when we think of strippers, we tend to think back to fall nights in Las Vegas surrounded by girls "working their way through college." But we've also known some very sharp and interesting women who've plied the trade for a time. Add another to the list. Stripper Hobo is Tara, an itinerant exotic dancer who lives out of a Chevrolet Astro with her dog. As one might expect, she's also somewhat of a hippie. We spent an hour stumbling around her blog this morning, taking in stories on everything from swapping a water pump to Alaskan hippie buses to picking the right club to work at. And don't worry, it's work-safe. Well, except for the ass-cleavage on the lead post. [Hobo Stripper]

That's Hella Cool: Astro Van Jump

Murilee Martin — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 13:00:00 EDT

The young hoon behind the wheel of Mom's van didn't get a huge amount of air on the jump, but we think this video has earned HOTD honors for several reasons. First, it's a minivan (yeah, the Astro is rear-wheel-drive, but it's still a minivan). Second, the driver keeps pedal to metal all the way up to the point of leaving the ground, unlike some hoons who chicken out at the last second. Third, they used a parking-lot speed bump as their ramp, adding to the likelihood of a stoned stunt becoming tomorrow's story of teenage tragedy. Cutting right to the chase in the video plus the lack of irritating music gains them a healthy +10 bonus, netting a respectable total of 30 points on the Hoon-O-Meter.

Death Race: GM Finishes First, Last

Jonny Lieberman — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 17:00:00 EDT

According to a four-year study released by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, you are more likely to die in a two-door, two-wheel-drive Chevy Blazer than any other vehicle in the United States. We're not really surprised, as we remember our neighbor's 1986 Blazer wound up breaking its own windshield sitting still in the driveway. By way of contrast, you are least likely to die inside a Chevy Astro. Which also makes sense, given that 90% of them can no longer move faster than 52 mph. What does this study mean? Not very much, as it doesn't take driver personalty into account. However, the Acura RSX (a triple-hoon favorite) is the second most deadly and the Nissan 350Z (only a double-hooner) is third. Our conclusion? Either the Blazer has some super drift-potential that no one's talking about, or that is one dangerous Chevy. – Jonny Lieberman

Study ranks vehicles by three-year death rates [msnbc.com]

Related:
Alleged Drunkard Mangles Lambo in Santa Monica [Internal]