Jalopnik: armored

Lord Humongous Rides Again! Six-Wheeled Death Machine Recreated

Andrew Didorosi — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:20:00 EDT

Lord Humongous' armored killer buggy is a solid contender for the title of "Most Jalopnik Vehicle Ever Made." It's built the exact way it should've been: In an all-out garage thrash. More evil inside.

Based on an '84 Ford F-150, this blood-and-guts custom faithfully recreates everyone's favorite post-apocalyptic survival vehicle down to the tiny bits. The added third axle isn't driven - and the nitrous isn't hooked up to anything - but we're completely sold on this monster. For what this machine lacks in mechanical ability it makes up for in spades with a working loudspeaker and realistic prisoners.

Stashed in the corner of this year's Autorama 2009, it's mightyness loomed over every custom built so dearly. The sheetmetal body work on the death chariot looks like it's been sectioned with a hacksaw and buzzed together with an arc welder; we wouldn't want it any other way. Where are you going to find a nice, powerful Miller TIG in the middle of the wasteland? Nowhere.

When we questioned the positionable Lord Humongous cardboard collector cutout, he only replied,

Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the Wasteland. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror. I await your answer. You have one full day to decide.

Wait, is he talking about Detroit?

KNIGHT XV: World's Biggest Fully-Armored Bio-Fuel-Powered SUV Gets Early Unveil Thanks To Battery Problem

Wes Siler — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:40:00 EST

At 7’4” tall, 18’1” long and 8’2” wide, the KNIGHT XV is one big honkin’ bio-fuel powered SUV. Did we mention it was armored too? Thanks to a 6.8 liter V10 that runs on something nebulously called “Biofuel” it claims to be green, but we estimate its mileage to be in the low single digits. That’s a lot of liquid corn. Unfortunately, Conquest Vehicles’ bouncers appear to be equally big, burly and prone to man-handling our Editor-in-chief, so we decided to reveal it early. Ray’s full account follows the jump.

I was walking by and saw the folks from KNIGHT pulling the sheet off the $295,000 XV in the middle of the SEMA parking lot. As they were pulling it off I noticed them trying to start the uber-luxurious black barge but it sounded like the engine wouldn't turn over. Perhaps the battery was dead? Frankly we don't know; however, we were manhandled and pushed away from taking any more pics by a short swarthy man with a ‘stache, so we won't be returning to find out if they got their act together in time for the official unveil.

Armored BMW M5: Brazil Edition

Mike Bumbeck — Tue, 01 May 2007 14:00:00 EDT

The BMW M5 is a perfect choice for the man who has everything. That same man who lives in Brazil and wants to keep it that way, sends out his M5 to get armored. 35 large added handy items like bulletproof glass, and a voice system so that the driver and passengers can speak to potential criminals without rolling down the windows. Adding this sort of protection also added 407 pounds to the weight for the car. Bodyguard weight was not mentioned. – Mike Bumbeck

The Unofficial BMW M5 Messageboard [m5board.com]

Related:
Em Five Madness: The Currency Motorcars M5 [Internal]

New Toy for Danger Boys: Combat T-98

Mike Spinelli — Mon, 31 Oct 2005 14:28:59 EST

For those whose daily commute involves the threat of assassination or kidnapping, and even those who aren't from Camden, New Jersey but want to feel like they are, the Combat T-98 is a new choice in full-sized SUVs. Touted to be the fastest armored four-wheeler in the world, the T-98 is powered by GM's massive 8.1 liter VORTEC V8, rated at 340 hp with 455 ft-lbs of torque, which can work the safe wagon up to a relative lather of 112 mph. On the inside, high luxury accompanies High Alert, with options that include leather seating and woodgrain accents, machine gun rack, ceramic armouring between the double steel layer monocoque chassis, electric windows that can stop an armor-piercing bullet and — for $100,000 extra — full anti-tank armor.

The Combat T-98 Armoured Luxury SUV [Gizmag]

Related:
F-350 as Armored Vehicle [internal]