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Detroit, 3:26 AM
Tue Dec 8
30 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Mobius Mobius
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    "Hey, have you prepared your Flupocalypse plan?"


    "Uhhh, whaaaat?"


    "Hey, listen, if you wanna live to see the light of day again, you gotta be ready when s*** comes knocking at the door. In this case, pig s***."


    "Oookaaay... Thanks for the concern, but no thanks. Hey, just outta interest, what are your plans?"


    "Oh, I shouldn't tell everything but basically one involves having a shotgun and blowing your flu-infected head off, and the other is visiting you and hugging you when I get infected. Yeah."

     Reply
    Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred
    Image of combat chuck combat chuck
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    I'm getting this for my new daily driver:
     Reply
    combat chuck was starred combat chuck was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    Here's my answer to potential diasters.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    "If you have a specific plan in place beforehand you'll save time and therefore, potentially lives." I like to lives too.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of philipmein philipmein
    04/27/09

    @.357: I assume you mean you like to save lives?
     Reply
    philipmein was starred philipmein was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    04/27/09

    @philipmein: It was a grammatical error in the article.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Six Flags Over Tomsk Six Flags Over Tomsk
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    11) Keep at least one gun and plenty of ammo handy in case the virus mutates into one that causes zombification.


    12) If the scenario presented in step 11 comes to pass, consider familiarizing yourself with the procedures required to successfully steal a Unimog.

     Reply
    Six Flags Over Tomsk was starred Six Flags Over Tomsk was unstarred
    Image of Matt Ehrlich Matt Ehrlich
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    You don't need masks or HEPA filters. Orthomyxoviruses (like influenza) are transmitted almost entirely by contact routes (handshaking, on surfaces). HANDWASHING should be on that list before anything else. It sounds contrived, but its the best way to control flu. btw, there are resistant strains of flu to oseltamivir, like last season's H1N1.
     Reply
    Matt Ehrlich was starred Matt Ehrlich was unstarred
    Image of Wes Siler Wes Siler
    04/27/09

    @Matt Ehrlich: Handwashing is included in the disinfectant section.
     Reply
    Wes Siler was starred Wes Siler was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    Thanks for these tips. I will now be taking the rest of the afternoon to write and emergency response plan. Tomorrow, I will go to the bus station and hold a meeting of several hundred travelers in a crowed, hot, unventilated room to discuss this action plan and how we can all work together.


    Sorry. Did I just sneeze on you?


    BTW, nice improved crush zone on that minibus.

     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of FLB is on vacation FLB is on vacation
    04/27/09

    @Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: Well, I hope for you it's not planned in Acapulco: [www.cnn.com]
     Reply
    FLB is on vacation was starred FLB is on vacation was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    04/27/09

    @FLB: Well this keeps getting better and better.
     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper
    04/27/09

    @FLB: I guess Nibbles has the sniffles.
     Reply
    discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was starred discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    So...what you're saying is I probably shouldn't travel by plane through Mexico City with a 5 hour layover, then head down to a resort town full of bars and nightclubs and attend a wedding where half of the guests are from Mexico City?


    ...not that I'm planning on doing that 2 weeks from now or anything. Purely hypothetical.

     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
    Image of combat chuck combat chuck
    04/27/09

    @Mad_Science: It was nice knowin' ya. Where should I send flowers?
     Reply
    combat chuck was starred combat chuck was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper
    04/27/09

    @Mad_Science: Don't worry. Everyone will be dead by then anyway.
     Reply
    discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was starred discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    04/27/09

    @Mad_Science: Probably also a good idea to stay away from U-Pull junkyards full of recent immigrants, and questionable public hygiene facilities. . .


    Uh oh.

     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    04/27/09

    @Mad_Science: Just don't come to Canada after words, and it's all good.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    04/27/09

    @Graverobber: Yeah, I just keep rolling those dice, huh?
     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    04/27/09

    @Mad_Science: Just eat tons of Garlic.
     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
    Image of Sloop_John_B Sloop_John_B
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    Bring it on you swine-flu infested zombies. A lift kit for offroading and a battering ram later will find me rampaging through fields mowing you suckers down:
     Reply
    Sloop_John_B was starred Sloop_John_B was unstarred
    Image of engineerd engineerd
    04/27/09

    @Sloop_John_F*cking_B_Jalopnik_Gold_Edition: Make sure you weld some 2" square tubing around the fuel tanks to protect them. I would recommend you do that with the fuel tanks empty.


    Oh, and set up the engine so it can run on jet fuel, as well. Then you know where to go to stock up on fuel.

     Reply
    engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred
    Image of acarr260 acarr260
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    A quarter of a tank of gas won't even get me out of town.
     Reply
    acarr260 was starred acarr260 was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, cube farmer Ash78, cube farmer
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    Don't forget to keep the A/C on recirc. It won't save you from the flu, but it'll make sure your farts are good for several minutes each.
     Reply
    Ash78, cube farmer was starred Ash78, cube farmer was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    04/27/09

    @Ash78: But chilling them removes so much of the potency.
     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of TheresAPartyInMyPants TheresAPartyInMyPants
    04/27/09

    The gene pool could stand a little thinning out.@Ash78: And if you have eggs, bear, and tacos beforehand, it should kill any rogue flu germs left in your car.
     Reply
    TheresAPartyInMyPants was starred TheresAPartyInMyPants was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    04/27/09

    @TheresAPartyInMyPants: If you have a bear in your car, it'll kill a lot more than flu germs.
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
    Image of flyingstitch flyingstitch
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    "By using your car instead of busses..."


    Yep, big sloppy kisses are definitely out.

     Reply
    flyingstitch was starred flyingstitch was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/27/09

    @flyingstitch: (Don't) kiss me on the bus!
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    04/27/09

    @FuzzyPlushroomanyte: Nice reference. How'd you know I'm a Placemats fan?
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    Viruses are spread by direct human-to-human contact You don't need a swinemobile for that, you need:
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, cube farmer Ash78, cube farmer
    04/27/09

    @.357: The Swinemobile and The Crabwagon? It's anti-Semitic terrorism!
     Reply
    Ash78, cube farmer was starred Ash78, cube farmer was unstarred
    Image of Boost that bitch! Boost that bitch!
    04/27/09

    @.357: Damn looks like Im gonna need a big crowbar to take that headcrab out.
     Reply
    Boost that bitch! was starred Boost that bitch! was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    04/27/09

    @doctor 1 penny: You are so heartclicked.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Maymar Maymar
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    Being in Canada, I should be safe from the Swine Flu. But now I have to get a coffee maker that runs off my power outlet, lest I get Hepatits A from my double double.
     Reply
    Maymar was starred Maymar was unstarred
    Image of Maxichamp Maxichamp
    04/27/09

    @Maymar bans bare chassis hoonage: There are confirmed cases in BC and Nova Scotia, buddy.
     Reply
    Maxichamp was starred Maxichamp was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    04/27/09

    @Maymar bans bare chassis hoonage: Even us, with our great beer and peaceful ways aren't safe from the Swine Flu.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Maymar Maymar
    04/27/09

    @Maxichamp: Damn, should I eat more bacon then, in hopes that it'll drive up my immunity to anything porcine-derived?


    @CaveTroll: Good call, we've been using one for years.

     Reply
    Maymar was starred Maymar was unstarred
    Image of B1663R B1663R
    04/27/09

    @Maymar bans bare chassis hoonage: DUDE! i know where that Timmies is!! its right across the road from my brothers house!!


    luckly i haven't been to that particular one in a while :)

     Reply
    B1663R was starred B1663R was unstarred
    Image of Maymar Maymar
    04/27/09

    @B1663R: My grandmother lives pretty close too, lucky for me, I work in the other end of Newmarket, so I haven't been to that location in some time.
     Reply
    Maymar was starred Maymar was unstarred
    Image of FTGDWolverineEdition'09 FTGDWolverineEdition'09
    04/27/09

    In reply to Ten Ways To Prepare Your Car For The Swine Flupocalypse
    "Flupocalypse?" What fresh hell is this?
     Reply
    FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was starred FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was unstarred
    Image of acarr260 acarr260
    04/27/09

    @Formerlythegreatestdriver: Go read the news.
     Reply
    acarr260 was starred acarr260 was unstarred
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