April Westfall, the 40-year-old owner of the Subaru Legacy Outback, didn't notice or didn't care about the Reno ambulance crew attempting to signal to her she was dragging about eight-feet of gas hose connected to the nozzle sticking out of her tank. Unable to get her to slow down, the ambulance then turned on their lights and conducted a quasi-legal traffic stop before calling real state troopers.

Not surprisingly, the woman failed a field sobriety and was booked into the Washoe County Jail. Surprisingly, the woman managed to drive so far with the hose that the police have been unable to determine what gas station it came from.

What happens in Reno is usually a sadder and dimmer version of what happens in Vegas.

[The Weekly Vice]

Brooklyn is also full of interesting metal, despite the scourge of respectless yellow cabs and tough emissions rules.

Here are a few finds I have made in areas south and west of Prospect Park. The Fiat 500 may not be all that interesting, but being pretty and streetparked she is fair prey. The Chevy Vega Kammback is obviously on its way to concours condition, evidence thereof being recent bodywork and "1972 KAM" plates. Could we have a feature on good/terrible vanity plates please?

The Cadillac ex-Ambulance turned Wildlife Control is worth a paragraph all its own. I don't know much about this one, except it's being always parked in the same neighbourhood southwest of Prospect Park. The owner obviously has a decent sense of humour (witness paw print stickers down the flanks) although the dead rat (see note in rear window) wasn't quite funny enough.

10. Honda Ridgeline

Ideal for your casual tailgater, the 2009 Honda Ridgeline almost perfectly fits the bill. The spacious interior comfortably fits five normal-sized passengers and the bed is just large enough to hold a few seats with the tailgate fully extended. Though the Ridgeline isn't massively powerful, it has a massive storage area below the truck's bed, which is big enough to hold a cooler, beverages, ice and whatever else you need for a good day of tailgating with 80Honda and three of your friends.

9. Barby Ute

One of the few purpose-built tailgating vehicles in existence, Ford of Australia took one of their liquid gas-powered Falcon Utes and added a giant cylinder on the back that looks like an LPG tank to create the Barby Ute. The doors of that cylinder open up to reveal a fully-functioning, gas-powered BBQ pit. Though they may grill shrimp and watch Australian rules football, we tip our hat first to the Aussies for creating such an ideal tailgating vehicle and second to LTDScott for finding it.

8. 18-Wheels Of Meat Justice

You'd have to have a serious stake in steak to build a gigantic grille onto the bed of an 18-wheeler, so it is no surprise that the crew behind the "Big Taste Grill" is employed by Johnsonville Brats. The self-proclaimed World's Largest Grill, the BTG's grill lid alone weighs 6,000 pounds and requires hydraulics to open it. Capable of producing 440,000 BTUs of power, this meat machine is capable of cooking 2,500 brats an hour. If you have the means, and own a meat company, Bpapa9013 highly recommends it. [Photo: Flickr]

7. 2009 Dodge Ram 1500

Having been part of the first ever tailgate in the 2009 Dodge Ram 1500, we can say for sure that this truck is built for tailgating. The new Ram features the "Ram Box" storage system in each sidewall, which has enough space to hold more than three dozen 12-oz beverages. It's so large that the editor of PickupTrucks.com nearly fits inside of it. Does that mean it holds seven passengers? [Photo: AutoBlog]

6. Recreational Vehicle

This is sort of a no-brainer when it comes to camping outside of the stadium. The recreational vehicle, like UDMAN's ride pictured here, has a number of distinct advantages. The RV typically comes complete with a small kitchen, space is almost unparalleled, it is much easier to setup a television inside and it has a water closet for when you realize you need somewhere to put what's left of all that Coors Light you drank. It also ensures you have a comfortable place to sleep if you want to show up a few days early to get the best grilling location.

5. Jeep Wagoneer

Older SUVs represent a great, relatively inexpensive choice for a single-purpose tailgating vehicle. Though an old Land Cruiser or Suburban is an admirable choice, there's something classic about the Jeep Wagoneer. Maybe it's just the wood paneling, but the Wagoneer feels more like a portable living room than a truck. The most important feature is that the Wagoneer, unlike other SUVs, has a dropping tailgate that significantly extends the cabin space within the Jeep for pres and company to setup an inflatable couch and a portable TV.

4. Pontiac Aztec

While we agree with the conventional wisdom that says the Pontiac Aztec was a Hindenbergesque vehicle that would only appeal to blind drivers, Foo2rama makes a good point about the vehicle's usefulness as a tailgating rig. There's a built-in air compressor for blowing up inflatable chairs, a 10-speaker stereo system with rear controls, a two-piece tailgate with molded cupholders and seating grooves, and a removable cargo tray that holds up to 400 pounds of stuff. It may be ugly, but it is hard worker.

3. Used School Bus

When local school districts auction off their old buses it's time for the serious tailgater to strike. As Cognitive_Friction knows, a school bus is basically a long, covered space in which a true artist can craft their ultimate tailgating ride. Outfitted with tables, chairs, televisions, grilling gear, beanbag toss, refrigerators and other essentials, the school bus has most of the utility of the RV with the novelty of... a giant school bus. Paint it in your team's favorite colors and there will be no mistaking who you support. [Photo: Flickr]

2. Classic Station Wagon

Commenter Slantsick hit the nail on the head with his suggestion of the classic, tailgated station wagon. Before fancy hatches were popular, you couldn't sell a station wagon without a keen tailgate. For those who want to look stylish when not tailgating but have the utility for Saturdays and Sundays, the 1950s-era wagon is hard to top. It's also significantly cheaper than retrofitting an 18-wheeler. Loyter's University of Utah red vintage Chevy II wagon is a classic example of why this may be the ultimate Jalopnik tailgating vehicle.

1. Used Ambulance

Striking the best balance between utility, cost and insane conviction is the ambulance converted into the supreme tailgating vehicle. It has storage. It has power. It has space. They're easy to pick up at auctions. They look cool. They have sirens. They're freaking ambulances! The University of Toledo Jambulence has more features than we can possibly list, but let's just say a super-quiet generator, LCD televisions and touchscreen computers all equal good times. Husker fans have the Big Red Meat Wagon, which comes with a "wiener slinger" and other strange devices that we are sure makes tailgating all that much more fun. We wouldn't be surprised to hear that PeteJayhawk is looking for one pre-painted in KU colors.

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These two PCH candidates arrived courtesy of two separate tipsters, and while the Official Tipster T-Shirt Obtainment Rules state that a tipster must send in two Hell Project suggestions that make it into this series, I'm going to go ahead and send out a shirt apiece here.

The German word for "ambulance" is "Krankenwagen." Krankenwagen! I already want my own Krankenwagen, if only for the name. But wait, there's more- it's an Opel Admiral! Believe it or not, a mere 450 Euros (and shipping from Austria) will obtain this beautiful 1972 Opel Admiral ambulance. Ach! I'm going to do a quick translation of the description, which I feel qualified to do in spite of not understanding German: Needs work. Lots of work. Now, before the distance and all the hard-to-get parts and everything else scare you away, just picture yourself rolling down your town's main drag in a restored Admiral Krankenwagen... with a blown small-block Chevy under the hood. Thanks- and a T-shirt- to Franzouse for the tip!

If you're shopping for vintage ambulances, it would be hard to beat a genuine Admiral Krankenwagen in the two most important Project Car Hell departments: coolness and impossibility. But we've got one here that just might achieve that goal- what would say if we told you where to get a 1949 Packard ambulance for just $2000? A genuine Yankenwagen? You'd just laugh, and then we'd say, no, really. And then you'd laugh some more, only with less force, and then you'd stay up all night thinking about that Packard and how much fun you'd have driving it around, and the next day you'd be on the phone to Puyallup (bonus points if you can pronounce it correctly) to make an offer. There's rust. There's a mystery engine in a crate. But you get that wonderfully vintage siren-and-red-lights setup and, well, just look at this thing! Cherry Bombs and fat tires are all it needs... plus some bodywork and probably a new interior and a few other things. Thanks and a T-shirt to Jimmy for the tip!

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The first thing all of you need to do is head over to dculberson's collection of photos and take a look at what he's dealing with here. It's got the siren! It's got the stretcher cart! And, of course, it's got rust! I'll let dculberson tell you the rest in his own quite eloquent words now:

It's my lovely (to me) 1966 Pontiac Superior Consort - a hearse/ambulance combo based on the Bonneville. It has the advantage of being a "standard wheelbase" which means it's only about 19 feet long. It does have the high top and commercial glass, which meant a badly cracked windshield led to a statewide search and a $600 purchase of a used, pitted up replacement.
Condition-wise, well, the pictures will tell most of the story. It's mostly complete, just missing a place for anyone to sit or even put their feet. It runs but tends to overheat, and the transmission leaks like an olestra victim. Every metal surface is rusty, and the more I dig into it, the more rust I find. I keep thinking about how much cheaper and easier it would be to just give it away and find a completed car or have Barris fab up a frame, suspension, body, and glass from scratch.
I cleaned the interior - vinyl is now my favorite material. Can you believe that mildew cleans right off? But c'mon, when was the last time you saw MOSS growing on the outside of a car? It has to have been at least a week. And as bad as the floors look in the pictures, they've turned out to be much, much worse. I spent a few hours tapping and cutting, and there really wasn't much metal left on either side. I've got some patches put in the passenger side and have since been adrift in the sea of helplessness brought on by an attack of "sober realism" which is entirely overrated. Beer should help cure that and get me back in the garage. Well, that and a few hundred dollars worth of tools that I have to try out. I started with a nice set of right and left aviation cutters, a metal seamer, and an air shear. I might have to move on to a roller, planishing hammer, and a set of dollies. Along with one of everything in the Eastwood catalog, that'll make me an auto body expert, right?
There were about 150 of these made, and any Ambulance-specific body parts have to either come off a parts car or be fabbed from scratch. I have spent six years looking for a replacement tail panel extension to no satisfaction. I almost bought another one of these, in worse shape, for $800, just for that part. Why didn't I? Because I forgot to bid before going to bed.
I have about $6k into a car worth about $1k. If that isn't hell, well, what is? But turn the key and it starts. Dream for a little while, then realize you're about to succumb to the carbon monoxide...
So... what do I get if I win, an assisted suicide? That would be awesome.

What do you think, dear readers? Is this a more hellish-yet-painfully-cool medical machine than the Moparbulance?

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My childhood was full of tales of my mom's brother, Dirty Duck, and the '55 Cadillac ambulance he owned for a while. How he was busted on several occasions for using the red lights and siren in traffic, just because sirens are fun, dammit! How he visited the hospital while I was being born, with the back of the ambulance full of cases of Old Milwaukee for all the expectant fathers in the waiting room. Yes, it's great having an ambulance- you get the same vast carrying capacity of a hearse, without the overtones of death, faux hipsterdom, etc. And we guarantee you'd enjoy driving this 1949 Cadillac ambulance, on sale for a miser-friendly $5995. The seller says it "runs great," which probably doesn't mean anything like the same thing as "everything works," but at least it moves under its own power. Of course, it "needs your individual cosmestic touch," whatever that means, and the seller is sub-forthcoming about any details, so you figure there will be hundreds of a few surprises in store before you've got this baby wailing down the boulevard like you're on the way to the site of a mob hit by Mickey Cohen triggermen.

That '49 is cool, no doubt about it, but wouldn't you rather have the kind of ambulance that would have been used to haul, say, an OD-ing member of the Manson Family? The seller of this 1968 Cadillac ambulance thinks that it's just like the '59 Cadillac ambulance from the movie "Ghostbusters," thus making the thing worth four grand, but we're pretty sure the sight of some actual Benjamins will change his or her tune on that price. Nevertheless, this ambulance has serious coolness potential, especially for your disturbing medical fetishes costume party ideas. Now, you don't get a '68 Cadillac ambulance that runs for cheap, and given that this one has been sitting in the New Hampshire woods for more than 25 years... well, you'll be on intimate terms with every single component with any sort of seal, not to mention the entire fuel system. But look at those bullet-shaped red lights! Imagine Janis Joplin in the back, on her way to SF General to get that Seconal/Southern Comfort cocktail pumped out, while that big 472 roars through Cherry Bombs and the siren wails!

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I'm sure as hell no expert on these things, but a friend of mine in Orange County had one of these ambulances. His was a former Army machine he bought for $150, had been rolled at least once, and was used only for desert hoonage with a Suicidal Tendencies soundtrack on a bungied-down boombox in the back. The ride was wheelbarrow-over-cobblestones-esque and the top speed was about 50; we'd all scream "MEDIC!" after a particularly spine-compressing bump.


Back when Alameda's Navy base was second only to San Diego's on the West Coast, the skies were full of A-6s and P-3s and the streets were full of gray Navy trucks. You'd also see some Marine Corps vehicles once in a while, but Air Force? Probably this truck would have been vandalized by enraged seamen back in the day. Anchors aweigh!


This ambulance clearly runs (or at least rolls), since I've seen it in different parking spaces, but I have yet to set it rumbling down the ave.


Anyway, other than the general era (1950s) and the Dodge origins, I can't nail down the exact model of this thing. Military-vehicle experts, please fill us in!

Check out that cool Auto Lite blackout headlight! I couldn't see a siren anywhere; if it lacks one, I hope the owner is scouring eBay for a replacement. An ambulance needs a siren!

Speaking, as we were, of good ol' ThnderBlt, we noticed that one of his classmates from his rather chichi and exclusive high school made the news recently when she got all hepped up on a booze/Aleve cocktail and stole an ambulance on the Stanford campus. Two paramedics had a drunken student on a stretcher when law student (and Yale grad) Julia Powell hopped into their ambulance and drove off, ditching the emergency vehicle 1,000 feet away. How'd they catch her? She left her cell phone in the footwell. Note to aspiring lawyers: if you absolutely have to steal an ambulance, make sure you take your belongings with you when you exit the vehicle. She's just lucky Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing didn't swipe the phone. That guy'd run up a Verizon bill she'd be paying off for years. – Davey G. Johnson

[UPDATE: The inimitable ThnderBlt has posted a considerate meditation on Powell here.]

Bizarre joyride in Calif. ambulance draws 36 days [Jems via The Highly Official Weblog of Phillip A.V. McCarthy]

Related:
Pull Over! Here Comes the Cayennebulance! [Internal]

Assuming that Germans aren't content to use ambulances derived from sluggish vans or boring station wagons for hauling the sick and injured, Porsche has had a crew of interns create this Cayenne ambulance. If this thing actually makes it into service, we're hoping the drivers will get hefty bonuses for every second saved. High-speed ambulance hoonage! Ingenious shortcuts! – Murilee Martin

When a regular ambulance just won't do [Motor Authority]

Related:
1968 Alfa Romeo Ambulance at Fantasy Junction [internal]