You see the occasional 70s or 80s Alfa Spider in the self-service yards these days, but Alfettas and GTVs are about as common as junked Porsche 928s. This one seems about 95% complete, so let's hope its parts get rescued and live on in other Alfas… before The Crusher uses it as an appetizer for its main course of Lincoln Town Cars.

This is the fuel-injected 158-horsepower Alfa V6. Hmmm... there's room for a turbocharged-beyond-reason Buick V6 in this engine compartment!






I thought about buying this pretty Veglia clock for the next Junkyard Boogaloo Boombox, but the hands-setting mechanism was broken.

While not as quick as its Alfetta stablemate, the Mille Miglia car still came in a bragging-rights-enabled 35th place. We need more Alfas in this race!


After retiring their hopelessly battered Alfetta, the California Mille crew came storming back with this replacement. Chief Perp Lamm came pretty close to exercising his right to claim any car for $500 when he saw the Webers on this thing, but decided to let it race instead. 24th place, which should disprove those "unreliable Alfa" stereotypes, right?


Even with an all-night wrenchathon mixed in, this car did way better than I ever imagined possible. The Stallions' all-woman crew kept this fine sports car going for most of the weekend, grabbing 47th place and a great 1:39.258 best lap time. Pay attention, future racers: the X1/9 has what it takes for LeMons… and you can get one for cheap!


This thing is a genuine LeMons legend. A veteran of every single California LeMons race, it's been a hit at the Concorso Italiano, performed thousands of parking lot donuts, and is even now being prepped for a 200 MPH Bonneville run. It's mighty fast on the racetrack- check out that 1:34.512 best lap time- and this time it had a best-yet 18th-place finish. Sure, they could drop a junkyard Toyota 4A in it and break down less frequently, but that would be wrong!

We all thought it was a pretty good score when Seatbelt123 picked up two Alfa Romeo Milanos for his 24 Hours Of LeMons team for just $299. No doubt many an Alfa lover started eyeballing that empty spot in the garage and began a search for similar deals. Guess what? We've found what (at first glance appears to be) an even better Alfa deal, and it will not only fill up your garage but the driveway and maybe front yard as well! Would you believe an '87 Milano, a '78 Alfetta, and a '69 Duetto (go here if the ad disappears) for the incredible price of $750? No, and we didn't, either; of course it's really a classic Craigslist bait-and-switch arrangement hiding a $9,850 price tag. But still, with the economy melting down and the value of project Alfas melting like reserves in a bank run, we're pretty sure the actual selling price will be much, much lower. There is no information about running condition or any problems these cars might have (other than the ominous statement "Needs a little attention" applied to the Alfetta), but you can count on decades months of Alfa torture fun when you take on these projects! Thanks to Narf, BZR, and UDMan for the tip.

You like those Alfa Romeos but the scam-esque nature of the phony price has you refusing to do business with the seller for ethical reasons? We understand. Besides, Italian cars are so obvious, what with all their histrionics and castor-oil-down-the-throat machismo. French cars! That's what you need! In fact, forget about those Renaults and Peugeots and even Simcas and go straight for the clear-quill, 200-proof goods: Citroën. Normally, even a pretty rough, hasn't-run-in-years Citroën goes for at least two grand, but magical things happen to project-car prices during a Financiapocalypse- how about four 1960-66 Citroën ID19s (go here if the ad disappears) for just one thin grand? The seller doesn't bother to provide any real description, other than "Between the 4 there are 3 engines. You could probably make 2 complete cars or make 1 with lots of spare parts," but who cares? You could make one quasi-nice runner with all this stuff and the first-ever 24 Hours Of LeMons Citroën with whatever's left over! Please, one of you Oregon readers needs to buy these cars!

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Here's an Alfa engine- looks fine from here!


Oh... hold on... is that hole supposed to be there?


So these guys are going to pull both engines, build a good one out of the parts, and put it in the best chassis. We're not sure which one that is, since everyone was in too much of a wrenching frenzy to chat much to us. This is why we love this race so much!

You want an affordable mid-engined handling machine, yet want something with a bit more style than a Fiero or MR2? Don't forget the Fiat X-1/9! They weren't so quick in factory form, but when you start with this '74 with targa roof, priced at just 800 bucks, you'll have plenty of cash left over to add a few ponies to the engine. Don't listen to the skeptics who will try to harsh your mellow by pointing out that the Yugo has essentially the same powerplant- hey, if you can add turbocharging to a Yugo... This seller is highly motivated, since he or she doesn't have a job. Not only that, this car is being sold at "a huge loss"- a first for Fiat ownership, we're sure! Supposedly all it needs to be in top shape is a new master cylinder, although the photographs seem to indicate a bit of body and interior roughness.

Inspired by the 24 Hours of LeMons awesomeness of the Alfetta, we did some shopping for one to place in Team Jalopnik's stable of future race cars. However, we didn't find one- we found two! We love Hell Package Deals, and here's a real winner: two '76 Alfa Romeo Alfetta sedans for $800. That's two hundred bucks cheaper than one X-1/9! The seller is pretty honest about what you get: one engine (a V6), one set of wheels, and more than one car's worth of parts between them. The red one has been raced, so it's on the battered side, but we're sure you could make the blue one into a real looker with the application of what car sellers refer as "TLC" (translation: vast amounts of money and time).

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We'll be looking for this car next year... looking to blow it into the weeds with the Team Jalopnik bacon-grease-powered Econoline diesel, that is!