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Al Gore
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alternative energy
Hard-hitting journalist Stephen Colbert has uncovered a vile plot by hybrid owners; they're intentionally running over blind people in order to use them for fuel. This stunning revelation comes only a day after the National Federation for the Blind publicized concerns over hybrid vehicle safety. Through in-depth investigative reporting, the heroic Colbert discovered that blind people make an excellent source of fuel, one that could potentially reduce our dependency on foreign oil. In a stunning new development, the Associated Press has learned that inattentive people could also be at risk of being turned into a green fuel source by Big Environment. Linda Murphy, who has perfect vision when she wears her glasses, revealed to AP that she too has had close calls with hybrids, "I'm walking right in back of it and it's moving and I didn't realize it until it nearly touched me, I never realized how dependent I was on my ears until I almost got hit." Remember kids, look both ways or Al Gore'll get you.
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Colbert: Hybrid Fuel is Blind People
Hard-hitting journalist Stephen Colbert has uncovered a vile plot by hybrid owners; they're intentionally running over blind people in order to use them for fuel. This stunning revelation comes only a day after the National Federation for the Blind publicized concerns over hybrid vehicle safety. Through in-depth investigative reporting, the heroic Colbert discovered that blind people make an excellent source of fuel, one that could potentially reduce our dependency on foreign oil. In a stunning new development, the Associated Press has learned that inattentive people could also be at risk of being turned into a green fuel source by Big Environment. Linda Murphy, who has perfect vision when she wears her glasses, revealed to AP that she too has had close calls with hybrids, "I'm walking right in back of it and it's moving and I didn't realize it until it nearly touched me, I never realized how dependent I was on my ears until I almost got hit." Remember kids, look both ways or Al Gore'll get you.
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he took the initiative in creating the high-speed hybrid
Prius is Worth a Buck, Chuh!
Oddly enough the surprise around the blogosphere not pertaining to cars isn't that Albert Gore III was carrying around enough pills to calm all but the most spastic of panic-ridden folks sans scrip, or that he had a bit of the weed on him. No, the pundits and gossip fiends are all flabbergasted that Gore The Youngest's Toyota Prius was actually capable of hitting the magical hunski mark. Slate's "Explainer" drops the hybrid science you already knew. More »
an inconvenient child
Al Gore's Kid Goes 100 MPH In A Prius
Yep. 100 mph in a Prius. Oh, and he was allegedly stoned with a Hunter S. Thompson-esq bounty of prescription drugs in the car, including Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall. Which sounds like one hell of a weekend in Vegas to us. Turns out that Al Gore the Third was arrested a few years back for...driving while stoned. Honestly, we're libertarian when it comes to drugs (legalize everything) and you can probably guess how we feel about speeding (go Speed Racer, go!). We even like and respect Oscar winner Al Gore quite a bit and hope he tosses his hat in the 2008 ring. But we'll never forgive that rotten wife of his, Tipper, for all that censoring, PMRC bullshit she and Dan Quayle pulled in the 80s. That's right, just like an elephant over here. More »
so easy a kid can do it
Global Warming Ditty Raises Awareness, Shatters Glass
When we were in junior high we had an earth sciences teacher who taught us about carbon dioxide emissions, the greenhouse effect, and the rapidly approaching ice age. As Meatloaf bellowed out to Cher a little later - two out of three ain't bad. What us kids didn't have back then were video cameras, a bunch of guitars, an audience, or a band called the Blübirds. Let them eat jellybeans indeed. More »
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Chrysler Group Sales Speculation: An Inconvenient Sale?
Rick Haglund's totally got a great idea in an article today over on MLive. Oh yeah...totally a great idea. More »
news
A More Convenient Truth: Al Gore Trades In Toyota For A Ford Hybrid
Looks like Al Gore's decided that it may be a bit inconvenient for him to be telling all this truth on the environment while driving
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