You know how you've always wanted your mangled corpse to be pried out of the remains of your smoldering car, but have always been too ashamed to make it happen because of the crappy paperbacks and magazines you read while driving? Then, buddy, are you in luck.

Christmas dreams for a Pep Boys regional accessory manager aren't about sugarplums or shiny bicycles: they're about taking an underadorned car and putting things right. Which means plastering a serious pile of cheap plastic crap onto something like a defenseless Miata.

Loved ones are loved ones—who cares if they think Stop signs are short for "Stoptional?" They still deserve the very best! Enhance their driving this holiday with a few gifts for the bad driver.

On the scale of ridiculous but completely stupid car accessories, the $39 Carstache is a real heavy hitter. Still, we can't help think the only thing better than an El Camino would be an El Camino with a mustache.

Are you part of the 2% of our readership who’s female? Are you a girl on the move? Well, here you go. Please excuse the typography. And the men’s shades. [Pukka Pressies]

Thanks to perverse and vigilant Jalopnik reader Mike Poller, we now see the inevitable combination of the Carpocalypse and truck nuts — recession-proof, SAE-grade truck nuts.

Like the green credentials and low price of the Honda Insight, but wish it had more fake chrome and add-on LCD screens? Well, if you’re from a shower-averse European nation, you’re in luck.