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Detroit, 6:09 AM
Fri Nov 27
1 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #abttuning more →

    ABT Golf VI GTD: Lord Vader, Your Euro-Trash Hipster Son's Car Has Arrived

    ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP

    ABT Sportsline Tunes Audi Q5, Thinks SUV Means "Particularly Sporty"-UV
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of FTGDWolverineEdition'09 FTGDWolverineEdition'09
    11/19/09

    In reply to ABT Golf VI GTD: Lord Vader, Your Euro-Trash Hipster Son's Car Has Arrived

    Why does every car these days have to shout "look at me?" I do miss discreet performance. Maybe I am getting old.

    Some simple style to balance out the ABT Golf.
     Reply
    FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was starred FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    11/19/09

    In reply to ABT Golf VI GTD: Lord Vader, Your Euro-Trash Hipster Son's Car Has Arrived
    This car definitely has a good chance of inhabiting my garage. I have a couple boys that think it's teh sex.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of bzr bzr
    11/19/09

    In reply to ABT Golf VI GTD: Lord Vader, Your Euro-Trash Hipster Son's Car Has Arrived
    Nah, Ben's kidding. Hipsters don't know anything about cars. That's why they plaster their grandma's '92 Camry with Conor Oberst stickers.
     Reply
    bzr was starred bzr was unstarred
    Image of Cvilletallman Cvilletallman
    11/20/09

    @bzr: Don't forget the bike rack, loaded down with fixies, all of which have "One Less Car" stickers on them.
     Reply
    bzr promoted this comment Cvilletallman was starred Cvilletallman was unstarred
    Image of Ford Tempo Fanatic Ford Tempo Fanatic
    11/19/09

    In reply to ABT Golf VI GTD: Lord Vader, Your Euro-Trash Hipster Son's Car Has Arrived
    Well I suppose this could be considered an improvement over the Ford Tempo Diesel's 52HP.
     Reply
    Ford Tempo Fanatic was starred Ford Tempo Fanatic was unstarred
    Image of brandegee brandegee
    11/19/09

    @Ford Tempo Fanatic: Yes, but which car will still be running after the EMP wars?
     Reply
    Edited by brandegee at 11/19/09 12:13 PM brandegee was starred brandegee was unstarred
    Image of Ford Tempo Fanatic Ford Tempo Fanatic
    11/19/09

    @brandegee: Without the slightest doubt in my mind, the Tempo. Actually, I wouldn't be too surprised if the only vehicle to survive the apocolypse is in fact, the diesel-powered Tempo.
     Reply
    Ford Tempo Fanatic was starred Ford Tempo Fanatic was unstarred
    Image of Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig)
    11/19/09

    In reply to ABT Golf VI GTD: Lord Vader, Your Euro-Trash Hipster Son's Car Has Arrived
    I almost love it, but VW did most of the work. That's both good and bad.

    I know it's sacrilege, but I really like the looks of the 4-door Golfs more than the 2-door (in the MkV and MkVI versions). Makes the car more competitive with the MS3, as well.
     Reply
    Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was starred Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    Terrible two-tone job - like it was left over from a Bugatti with too much taste. Myself, I'm still partial to the Specials...
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    I like the black and white two tone.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of engineerd engineerd
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    From ePRS (patent pending):


    Boy racers, your dream car has arrived. ABT Sportsline, no affiliation to CBS Sports, has improved on the Audi A5 by adding an S between the A and the 5 and adding an R. Not only that, but we put a supercharger and changed the computer programming of the AS5-R to increase horsepower to 510 hp. The 0-62 time drops to 4.5s and the top speed is now 292 km/h.


    Consumption and emissions stay the same so we won't receive hate mail from the Sierra Club.


    Additional features include enormous 380mm brakes, a new coil-over suspension system, and Christian Abt perfectionised power interaction. All of this results in a car your wife won't object to riding in.


    The glove fits, but you must acquit. A new body kit gives it that boy racer look you've desired without being too over the top. A rear diffuser and 4-pipe exhaust complete the ass...er...A5S-R.


    The A5S-R will not perform unless you also buy the body kit. We specifically designed it so a sleeper model would not work.

     Reply
    engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred
    Image of Syrax Syrax
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    Now that STaSIS doesn't feel like the greatest thing in the world does it?
     Reply
    Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred
    Image of combat chuck combat chuck
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    I like how it matches that fat jogger's two-tone outfit.
     Reply
    combat chuck was starred combat chuck was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    02/26/09

    @combat chuck: My god those are some man-boobs (or moobs as they say on the streets).
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    Dear BMW:


    Please reference this car when you next decide to try and make an M3 coupe. This is proof that German cars don't need to be bulbous, lumpy, flame-surfaced and fat-looking. Isn't it sad that Audi has made a car that is everything the M3 should have been, but isn't.


    Just ignore those fender vents, unless you find a reason that they need to be functional. In which case, huge clouds of steam should shoot out of them.


    All my love,


    Deartháir

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of UDMan UDMan
    02/26/09

    @Deartháir aka Prawo Jazdy: Dear Deartháir:

    Watch it, or we'll re-hire Chris Bangle. Do you think our designs will get better with a chap named Adrian van Hooydonk? Just look for our new cars equipped with 22 inch chrome spinners.
     Reply
    UDMan was starred UDMan was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    02/26/09

    @UDMan: Seriously, don't make me cry while I'm at work.


    Thankfully, we still have Audi making beautiful German cars, even if BMW and Mercedes have jumped aboard the ugly bandwagon.

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    02/26/09

    @UDMan: @Deartháir aka Prawo Jazdy:

    Dear Deartháir:


    Please, please don't forget about us! We'll put a bigger engine and throw another supercharger in! It's not all BMWs and Audis you know, we have the biggest bulges and the biggest fender holes in the business! So pleaaaaaseee buy our cars instead! We'll throw in a Smart for free! We have plenty of those just sitting out in the lots!


    from Mercedes-Benz

     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    02/26/09

    @Deartháir aka Prawo Jazdy: The new S-Class looks decent. It no longer has the staely presence that it used to have. It now says "I've arrived," but with cheaper materials.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    02/26/09

    @Pessimippopotamus Parkingtonius: See? There's the counter-argument from leavethegun-takethecannoli. They're not horrendous, and they inspire people saying, "Well, it's not bad..." and "The looks really grow on you after a while."


    Yes. So does moss, if you stand still for long enough.


    Each successive Audi, to my eyes at least, has gotten better and better looking. In about 1999, I wouldn't even notice one, particularly when compared to a BMW or Mercedes. Now they're the only ones I want to see.

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    02/26/09

    @Deartháir aka Prawo Jazdy: I can't agree more. A5/S5s are most likely to make me smile on the road. I thought it was boring at first, but in real life, it's genuinely pretty.


    BMW stills seems pretentious, but Mercedes is the prime offender. It just seem so amateurish with how it applies the new designs.


    @leavethegun-takethecannoli: It always reminds me of a woman who's gotten too many unnecessary plastic surgeries.


    The only Mercedes that I actually like is the CLS and that was conceived before this Bangular nonsense.

     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    The flat black on white looks good.


    The ketchup popsicle on white gloves leaves a bit to be desired. Looks like a used tampon. Wow, I'd never thought I would ever write anything like that. I just said I'm sorry to myself.

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    02/26/09

    @leavethegun-takethecannoli: Wow, I didn't notice that photo before.


    Who the fuck thought THAT was a good idea?

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    02/26/09

    @Deartháir aka Prawo Jazdy:


    The Designer: "I was looking at some of my old underwear, and all of a sudden the idea of racing stripes popped into my head. But that's a little played out, so I said to myself I need a twist, how about racing stripes for women? And boom, I had my new paint scheme."

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of jduffy13 jduffy13
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    How many more years will it take for the two-tone to run its course.


    I kinda get it from a styling standpoint but then again, I'd never own anything with it.

     Reply
    jduffy13 was starred jduffy13 was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    02/26/09

    @jduffy13: I, for one, wish we could get more cars in two-tone...


     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Bret Bret
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    HO LE pack?
     Reply
    Bret was starred Bret was unstarred
    Image of Boosted Lego Wagon Boosted Lego Wagon
    02/26/09

    In reply to ABT Audi AS5-R Lays Down 510 HP
    Looks like AS5.
     Reply
    Boosted Lego Wagon was starred Boosted Lego Wagon was unstarred
    Image of Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig)
    02/26/09

    @boosted-lego-wagon: Or the UK spec A/R5e
     Reply
    Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was starred Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    02/26/09

    @Ash78: Soon we'll get an RS version of it too.
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    02/26/09

    @boosted-lego-wagon:


    Goes like AS5 too.

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig)
    02/26/09

    @Pessimippopotamus Parkingtonius: I just hope they get rid of those ugley RS-holes on the fenders.
     Reply
    Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was starred Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was unstarred
    Image of Skunky Skunky
    02/26/09

    @boosted-lego-wagon: I'm so glad I wasn't the only one that saw that. I can't wait to see one of these on the road with the license plate:


    AS5 <3R

     Reply
    Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    02/26/09

    @leavethegun-takethecannoli: I meant to say "Hauls AS5."
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Skunky Skunky
    02/26/09

    @leavethegun-takethecannoli: Well that's because of the big turbo, it's blown AS5.
     Reply
    Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred
    Image of Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig)
    02/26/09

    @Skunky: "Hey, A5S Man!"


    "You're damn straight!"

     Reply
    Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was starred Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    02/26/09

    @boosted-lego-wagon: epic!


    I am still laughing.

     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
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