Jalopnik: Abominations

Safe Steering Components Are For Cowards!

Murilee Martin — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:00:00 EDT

When LTDScott isn't gluing huge porcupine quills to a BMW 325e, he's working behind the parts counter of a steering-parts supplier. That means he sees a fair cross-section of not-so-safe modifications to vehicle steering systems, and he's found a site with some of the scarier ones. Faced with a steering shaft that's a little too short? Well, actually, several inches too short? Hey, that's why they make washers so cheap! Yes, you're sharing the roads with this guy. This and more await you at a website so cool that it's known only by its IP address: [128.83.80.200]

Torino Of The Day: Dragonmobile!

Murilee Martin — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 14:45:00 EDT

What with all the talk about Starsky and Hutch Torinos, Personal Dilemma Torinos, and Celebrity DUI Torinos around these parts, we've been keeping our eyes open for good examples of the old classic Ford. Today, we've struck gold: Dragon Torino! This '74 blows away the Dragon Image Per Vehicle record with its airbrush work, it's got a heated-up Cleveland, and it could be yours for a starting bid of just $10,950! Is that a reasonable price? Take the poll after the jump and let us know! [eBay Motors]

Shorty Hemi Belvedere Sighting!

Murilee Martin — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:15:00 EDT

Here are some photos sent in by Belvedere legend Adrian (he of Moparbulance fame) of what appears to be a 1958 Plymouth with shortened wheelbase. The emblems claim it's a Hemi, and the 8,000 RPM redline on the tach is certainly a good indicator of hoonage afoot. These photos come from Tulsa, during the festivities surrounding the Buried Belvedere last summer. Any reader who knows more about this car- particularly if anyone has been crazy enough to stand on the gas all the way down the quarter-mile- please fill us in.

Project Car Hell: 4x4 Checker or Borgward Wagon?

Murilee Martin — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 19:00:03 EDT

Yesterday's Quattro versus Quattroporte Choose Your Eternity poll (in which the Audi emerged victorious over the Maserati) featured two fairly different types of vehicle, but there was still a unifying theme involved. Today we're going to go back to the format of the first few matchups, in which two very different avenues to Eternal Vehicular Torment are offered at the gates of Project Car Hell.

Having a Checker Marathon would be fun, of course, and we've seen one beckoning invitingly at the flaming gates before, but what if you need to drive through heavy snow and up a ravine to get to your Book of Revelations-themed survival compound in the woods? Yea, and the very skies shall rain red-hot brake drums, and only this 4x4 1964 Marathon shall see your load of freeze-dried food through to your acolytes. What we have here is a '74 Blazer chassis with a Marathon body, built to operate in Aspen as part of the Mellow Yellow Cab Company (they'll pick you up at the Trans Love Airlines terminal at the airport). Long story short, it doesn't drive. Supposedly it has "a fresh engine, tranny and lots of other chassis and drivetrain parts," but of course we don't hear much more than that on that boring old mechanical stuff. Best of all is that it will need to be towed away... through several winding mountain passes, which ought to be entertaining. Winter's a-comin'- better beat the snow! The auction ended today with nobody beating the reserve, so you'll definitely have a chance to contact the seller and make him or her see some reason on the price front. Thanks to Akirachin for the tip!

However, maybe you like your car to get attention, but in a more subtle, restrained manner. You want something that causes a "what the heck is that?" double-take from passersby, yet isn't grabbing them by the lapels and screaming "I'm special!" and getting droplets of spit all over their faces. In that case, this 1959 Borgward wagon is calling your name! It looks pretty complete, and it's an Arizona car so you figure rust isn't going to be so bad (unless, of course, it lived in North Dakota for its first 40 years). Not only that, the seller says it will run! For just $1050, you can discover the joys of chasing down parts found in dusty boxes in Bremen basements, fabricating the stuff you can't find all along the way. But hey, at least a Mexican company bought all the tooling and kept making Borgwards after the company went kaput in 1961, so there should be a few parts cars available south of the border. Hmmm... wouldn't a 4AGZE give this car a bit more zip? Or should it stay German?

Bitchin' Tiny Camaro, Bitchin' Tiny Camaro!

Murilee Martin — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 13:45:37 EDT

Donuts on your lawn! Tipster Matt thinks we need to know about this VW-based second-gen Camaro replica, now for sale on eBay, and he's right! The funny thing is that it's probably quicker than most Malaise Era F-bodies (in fact, if the engine's been treated to a standard helping of VW go-fast gear, it's probably way quicker). You'll need to bid soon, because the auction ends in just a few hours! [eBay]

No Time To Build A Mustangchero? Buy One!

Murilee Martin — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 11:00:26 EDT

Always lusted after a Cyclonechero but want a vintage Ford cartruck that's a little smaller and sportier? How about this lovely 1966 Mustangchero, available on eBay with a mere $3500 reserve. Generally, you turn a car into a -camino/-chero by modifying the existing trunk and rear body areas into a truck bed, but this guy decided the wiser course was to hack off the rear of the Mustang and graft on a tube frame with an S-10 bed assembly on top. Don't worry that the S-10 is somewhat wider than a Mustang- it looks great! Thanks to bzr for the tip! [eBay]