Taking on the Citroën CX Pallas that won the last Choose Your Eternity poll would be akin to dragging a washing machine through a 100-yard gauntlet of meth-crazed chimps armed with tire irons... in other words, a walk in the park compared to the projects we'll be contemplating today. Adopting either one of today's exquisite machines would feel much like donning a wetsuit stuffed with Asian Giant Hornets and climbing into a Drum Debarker filled with burning creosote-soaked railroad ties and radioactive dioxin bottles packed with selenium tetra-azide. But, dammit, they're totally worth the pain!

Much as we love the Fieroborghini, bolting some Italian-looking plastic body panels on a Fiero isn't all that heroic a project (though installing a Cadillac 500 engine and front-drive transaxle out of an Eldorado does get our respect). No, your Fauxborghini needs more sweat, more blood, and a Nile's worth of tears. We're talking about a quasi-scratch-built backyard Countach here, based on a Detroit family car from the 1960s. That means something along the lines of this 1967 Ford-based Lamborghini project (go here if the listing disappears), which could obliterate drop into your life with megaton force for $795 or "an interesting trade option." Why, that price is down in 24 Hours Of LeMons territory (and I can guarantee a great deal of judicial slack when examining the budget of any team with the guts to bring this vehicle to a LeMons race), but we think it would be even more fun on the street. Now, this Fauxborghini- which appears to be have some '67 Fairlane DNA- lacks a few of the features you'd find on the real deal. We're pretty sure that Ferrucio Lamborghini never installed front drum brakes on any of his cars, and the same goes for the leaf-spring rear suspension. As for the drivetrain, it appears to be a Ford Windsor V8 mounted backwards and driving... well, we're not sure. Maybe a V-drive of some kind? A shaft coming off the front of the crank and driving a flipped-over Porsche 944 transaxle? Or maybe this project is meant to be a mid-engined front-wheel-drive car, which would be so completely wrong that it's just perfect! Thanks to Josef for the tip!

You'd be a Project Car Hell God or Goddess for sure, were you to get that Fairlaneborghini into daily-driver condition, but we understand that sometimes you need a generous helping of classic British luxury in your project. No, we don't mean yet another Jaguar, or even a Bentley or Rolls. We're talking Lagonda here! That's right, an Aston Martin-built updated version of the W. O. Bentley-designed prewar Lagondas, a car you have no hope in hell of ever obtaining. But wait! A miracle has occurred, and it has become possible to buy this 1956 Lagonda 3 Litre Saloon in a no-reserve eBay auction. Even better, the current top bid is only $1,000. Really! We're forced to admit that a few flies have found their way into the ointment here; in fact, the ointment is pretty much entirely flies. First of all, the incredible Lagonda Straight Six engine that propelled Aston Martin to glory in the 1950s... well, it's as gone as D.B. Cooper, and probably just as difficult to find today. The seller himself states that this project is "Broken down, incomplete and a restoration project only for the relentlessly ambitious or deranged." But come on, how hard could it be? Just start by getting yourself an appropriately powerful inline-six engine- say, this 2JZGTE/6-speed combo deal, for example- and then start casting and/or machining all the missing trim pieces from scratch. As for the interior, you'd be amazed what $500 will buy you at a Tijuana upholstery shop. No problem!

Of course you do! Oh, sure, you'd have fun with a Lotus Esprit or Fiat 124 Sport Coupe (incidentally, the Lotus beat the Fiat rather handily in the Choose Your Eternity poll), but you wouldn't have the pride of driving a total oddball orphan genuinely unique machine. That's exactly what we've got for you today!

You may not have heard of Siata, but they were once legendary for their Fiat-based (and even Crosley-powered) sports cars. The Siata Spring was based on the rear-engined Fiat 850 chassis, and you'd have a helluva time finding one… until now. We've got this '69 Siata Spring (go here if the ad disappears), which seems to run and doesn't suffer from much rust. What could go wrong, then? Well, a weirdo conversion of a nervous Italian machine, done by a now-defunct company… do we need to draw a diagram? This thing is going to be a never-ending project, so you might as well start figuring out how to stuff a WRX engine in the back!

Normally we wouldn't consider a VW-engined Lamborghini copy to be a true Fauxborghini, but that rule wasn't made for the likes of this fine Belgian machine (go here if the ad disappears). I'm not so good at reading Dutch or French, but that doesn't matter much here. Just look at the photos and you won't care about the "chassi et moteur vw" part! It appears to be a particle-board and duct-tape interpretation of a Countach, no doubt built in a Belgian prison from smuggled-in components and based entirely on a verbal description of the original car. It's only 1,000 Euros, and you could make it your own! Thanks to Doede for the tip!

[Craigslist Knoxville]

[eBay Motors]

[eBay Motors]

[Craigslist Kansas City, go here if the ad disappears]

[Craigslist Chico, go here if ad disappears]