Jalopnik 
Enter your username and password.
Detroit, 3:14 PM
Sun Nov 22
11 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jalopnik.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | Email | AIM
Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler | Email
Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin | Email
Associate Editor - Houston:
Matt Hardigree
Associate Editor - Detroit:
Ben Wojdyla
Editor-at-Large:
Mike Spinelli
Contributors:
Mark Arnold
John Krewson | Email
Andy Didorosi
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
07/31/09
#2. Slide the seat in position, leave it the fuck alone. Done.
#3. Is there water? If yes-turn the wipers on, if no-leave it the fuck alone. (same for darkness)
#4. I would like to stab the person who thought of this, reach to the seat belt and bring it to the buckle. EASY
#5. This is stupid, roll the fucking windows down.
#6. Push-button ignition is cooler, stop making the keyfob bigger.
#7. I want to see the little red needle zoom past the numbers, leave it alone.
#8. Get rid of your stupid SUV, buy a sedan, and turn the fuck around.
#9. Power on and power off, learn your car and stop being lazy.
#10. Gas/Electric hybrid is just a band-aid. Make better use with technology.
#11. Take the time and learn to parallel park, its easy. Stop being lazy.
#12. Learn how to use your cruise control (you know, the buttons that say accelerate and decelerate). Stop hitting your brakes.
#13. Your auto-slushbox still won't get it spot on as you could if you know how to drive your car.
#14. This isn't WRC, stop being silly.
#15. Never fucking works right, Cool/Hot - Fan Control - Floor/Face/defrost mix works.
#16. Driving is feeling the car. It becomes an extension of yourself. There is a reason why you can't stay on the road in Forza 3 like you can in the real world.
#17. Map your route, learn your area, stop being a dick.
#18. Active noise canceling is annoying, sound dampening material can help quiet things easy.
#19. Making things overly complicated makes more things that can go wrong.
#20. Is it really that hard? really? The stupid button is two feet from you. I can hit buttons on my dash without looking at them, can you?
#21. Motorcycles are everywhere, look twice and don't be lazy.
#22. If your bazillion candlewatt xenons are still not enough, stop blinding the fuck out of everyone else and see a doctor.
#23. Having a handle that is wired to a brake makes me feel good. Keep it simple.
#24. Pull the fuck over and sleep at the rest stop. Its your fault that you have been at Mohegan Sun all night playing hold'em. Take this time to come up with a story to tell your wife.
#25. Eyes...white lines...simple. If you can't do this, you are going to run some poor kid down in the crosswalk. I don't care if your mom needs this, tell her to get her old ass off the road.
#26. READ A BOOK, READ A BOOK, READ A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK.
END.
(ps- your replay means nothing to me, don't bother.
07/31/09
07/31/09
07/31/09
08/01/09
08/01/09
08/01/09
1. I drove from Boston to New Orleans with a quick google map and a couple state maps EASY. Although, my advantage is that I grew up in a big city.
2. Driving courses should be more in-depth, like learning how to brake in an emergency. Training for a racing license helped me with this.
3. I do agree about memory settings making it easier for multiple drivers, but it is no problem switching between me (6'2") and my wife (5'7") without power seats.
06/25/09
and seriously, #7 isn't car related and neither is #9 or #25...
they belong in trainopnik and planeopnik and cycleopnik
06/25/09
06/25/09
01/17/09