The roof-mounted vacuum-powered skulls have been retrofitted with electrical innards and anatomically correct arms; when you pull the Metal Switch (a BMW 2002 hazard-light switch) on the dash, a PA speaker blasts Immortal, the skulls' red eyes flash, and the jaws snap open and closed.


We'll have a how-to on this project later on, but for now all you need to know is that Volvo 240 door-lock motors move the jaws, and a turn signal flasher hooked up to a set of three Bosch relays controls them. Sadly, it appears that the VDO designers who made these lock actuators never anticipated a duty cycle involving nonstop up-down-up-down operation for hours at a time, so the skulls have had some reliability issues.


The drivers of a Swedish car must be armed with Thor's Hammer, aka Mjöllnir, so I made some for the team out of rusty steel and spikes. A few junkyard trips netted a bunch of Volvo emblems, while various emblems provided many numeral 8s (BMW 318s, Mercedes-Benz 280s, and Volvo 850s were good sources). You don't want to step on one of these babies barefoot!


Add some post-Halloween clearance-sale monk costumes, and there's your Black Metal V8olvo uniform!


Your metal is weak! That's what the Swedish text down the sides of the car means.

All the cars we saw were quite well-prepared, with the full complement of safety equipment. We didn't see anyone busted for blowing past the $500 price ceiling, but we only saw a handful of the 90 entrants go through the inspection... so we'll see how that plays out.


Plenty of Swedish steel at the race this time, including this Volvo 244. Yes, it's a 244! We counted at least five Volvos besides our own (including a 780 Bertone with a Swedish flag on the roof), plus several Saabs, and most of the cars haven't even arrived yet.


This 242 Turbo was at the Thunderhill 24 Hours of LeMons race back in December.


Hey, is that a Merkur XR4Ti?

Did Volvo paint half their Malaise 240s this particular shade of mustard yellow? Or was it two-thirds? These cars were pretty pricey when new, with the list on this one set at $6,595 (well over two grand higher than the '77 Malibu sedan and a bit under a grand less than a new BMW 320i).


This one is pretty banged up; I could have photographed many nicer examples of Malaise Era Volvos on the island, but this car seems to capture the tough-survivor essence of the Volvo Brick. It drives every day and doesn't care if you think it looks frumpy. And hey, it's got the mighty Lambda Sond (i.e., oxygen sensor-equipped) 130ci engine!


We've got some California-style body rust here, no doubt caused by rainwater getting into the trunk after the sun and smog turned the weatherstripping into black crumbly powder. At the current rate of decay, the rust will force this car's retirement by about the year 2089.

We had observed that many teams gave themselves a big advantage in the pits (both for parts to use on their own cars and for horse-trading leverage with other teams) by bringing parts cars to the last couple of LeMons races, and we were determined to do the same. As an added bonus, with a parts car you can pick and choose the best shocks, brake calipers, etc. to put on your racer. I figured I'd put up an ad and then offer the standard wrecking-yard 50 bucks to those who responded, but I hadn't banked on the desperation of those who are sick of staring at the immobile hulk of a dead Volvo day after day, month after month. Once my Craigslist ad went up, I had three responses within the same day, one of which came from the owner of an '85 242 Turbo that was in a back yard just a few miles from Black Metal V8olvo HQ. This car had been purchased a few years back by a guy who stripped it of all the turbo goodies and some other pieces, and he wanted it gone from his yard ASAP. The price: free! Needless to say, we had the trailer over there within 20 minutes of talking to the guy.


Yes, the Turbo 242s are highly sought-after cars, but this one was pretty well trashed. It did have three Draco rims, a usable battery, decent shocks, and thousands of little parts that would save us many schleps to the junkyard over the following months.


Doesn't look like there's anything of use in that thoroughly grody leather interior, but we grabbed the steering wheel and the clock for the race car...


... and the wiring harness proved to be incredibly useful when harvesting connectors, relays, and wire to use in the race car.


Don't weep over this 242T's fate, Volvo lovers- its shell shall live on in racing glory, for the Evil Genius himself will be gutting this car and turning it into a full-on (Volvo-powered) racer in the near future! Don't you love a happy ending?

Of course, we believe Volvo 200s really belong on the racetrack (and we're walking the walk when we say that, too). But they're still on the street in huge numbers.


I spent a summer in southern Sweden as a teenager, and the family I was visiting had an '80 DL just like this one. Same color, but without the JC Whitney plastic hubcaps. We even took a road trip all the way up to Göteborg, where I visited Volvo's museum. And yet, even with all this serious exposure to the glories of the Volvo 200 series, I still prefer the Amazon.


You say these cars are strictly about function, with no unnecessary decoration? Check out this stolid whimsical bit of pillar trim! Hmmm... is it just covering up a weld line?


I always figured the "Lamda Sond" emblem on these cars meant "Ja, here is the powerful engine for the hoonage, you betcha!" But no- it means the engine is equipped with an oxygen sensor-based fuel-delivery feedback system. How exciting!