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Detroit, 9:01 PM
Tue Nov 10
31 posts in the last 24 hours
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My neighborhood had this same problem, except the rodents were also chewing tires and windshield wiper blades. So, we all decided that the best plan of action was to hire one of their own to guard the vehicles. Problem solved.
09/11/09
@skaycog - Got Milk?: Ahh.. but the shenanigans that could have ensued if you would have hired Carl Spackler.
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She is pretty hip to the things I say and she can fire back her own. Without the details, lets just say her sense of humor is dirtier and much more messed up than mine.
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09/11/09
Impress the Commentariat with your wit and wisdom. Good grammar, punctuation and spelling help enormously, although we're clearly not obsessive about it. Sometimes we wonder if Hardigree can spell his own last name... since we know he can't spell Wojzilla's. But then, who can?
I skimmed through your previous comments, and you're on the right track, but there are a LOT of people vying for attention around here. The bar-none best way to do it is to make us laugh, as Mr. Jazdy just proved.
I (and a few others who have been here long enough to be recognized by the editors) am willing to go to bat on a commenter's behalf if I think they deserve a nod, as I just did for Mr. Jazdy, and as I did to get wojo approved a few days ago. But the main point is, impress us with your amazing commenting skills, and eventually the star will come on its own. You've still got a ways to go. I see you've still posted fewer than 100 comments on Jalopnik so far; I've posted way more than that many in the last 24 hours. So have patience, and keep adding your thoughts to the conversation. It'll happen. :)
Cheers!
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And I had one more question: Do you get any special privileges for having a star?
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That reminds me... I just got a new car, and I still haven't read the manual. Not sure if I want to devote that much time to such a task though. haha.
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I've been here for a while, I just started smoking enough pot and drinking enough brown liquor to keep up with the commentariat. So you do what you gotta do.
09/11/09
There used to be more... but I think we broke them. That, or they took them away from me when I got Jezeboinked.
09/11/09
"Dammit, that's the bluetooth module, which is run through the passenger side map-light circuit, which should be the seventh from the right, and a 15-amp fuse."
I know. I need help.
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09/12/09
BOB: "Hello, Bob's Pest Control... you call, we kill all your things that crawl!"
CALLER: "Uhhh... I think you could use a better slogan there, Bob."
BOB: "Really? Well, it rhymes, like all good slogans should."
CALLER,"Yeah, but it's a little awkward in it's phrasing, and also a little disconcerting."
BOB: "Discon-what?"
CALLER: "Well, yeah... you're gonna kill all my things that crawl? Does that include our baby, Bob? He crawls."
BOB: "Oh, yeah... ya gotta point there. OK, well I'll think about changing it, then - thanks. Anyhoo, what can I do for you?"
CALLER: "Well, I was wondering if you could come over - I have a Capybara problem."
BOB: "A what?"
CALLER: "Capybaras... giant water rats from South America - I have a Capybara infestation... they're all over the place."
BOB: "From South America? You mean, like Florida?"
CALLER: "No, I mean like Venezula, Peru, Brazil... THAT South America. I'm guessing they migrated up here."
BOB: "Damn! How'd they get across the Panama Canal?"
CALLER: "I think that's academic at this point, Bob - point is, they're here, and they're trouble... BIG trouble. We can't even walk outside without wading through tons of rat-shit."
BOB: "Well, I've never dealt with these Capywhatsits before, but I suppose I could come over, place some poison & snap-traps around your place & that should take care of it."
CALLER: "Snap-traps ain't gonna cut it, Bob. I don't think you realize how big these things are."
BOB: "Oh? Like how big are they?"
CALLER: "They're about 200lbs each, Bob... my Lab is terrified of 'em."
BOB: "Oh, yeah, snap-traps ain't gonna have enough leverage for that."
CALLER: "Nah, a trebuchet might, though.... you got one of those?"
BOB: "A wha...?"
CALLER: "It was a joke, Bob."
BOB: "Look, it's early Saturday morning, and you're throwing all these big words at me... trebooshay, discon-something, Capywhatsits... me an' the boys went out last night & had a few pitchers of Schlitz, so I'm still a little foggy - you sure you're not just prank-callin' me, pal?"
CALLER: "Nope - this is for real... Capybaras, lots of 'em, been here about a week. I thought they'd just stopped temporarily & would pack up & be on their merry way, but they seem to have set up shop. Kinda like your unemployed cousin who asks if he can come & 'stay a few days'.
BOB: "OK... well, gimme a few to get some things packed up in the truck. I'm gonna have to bring out the heavy artillery for this."
CALLER: "Oh? Like what are you thinking?"
BOB: "I'm thinking a shotgun & flamethrower."
CALLER: "Perfect... in that case, I'll even help you with the task once you get here! We'll make it a party."
BOB: "Great! I'll bring the Schlitz... see you at 11:00!"
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