One crazy Canadian has started what we're sure will be the next big modelmaking craze, with his 1:24 scale model of the Castor Civic-Ensis 5th-gen Honda Civic, which finished 34th at the 2008 24 Hours Of LeMons Detroit-ish race.

It's possible to get models of so many LeMons cars, from Camaros to Proteges… but why stop there? We're thinking LeMons dioramas here! It wouldn't be hard to change the Tamiya Rally Mechanics into LeMons Mechanics, simply by adding mullets and replacing all their tools with hammers and rolls of duct tape!

[24 Hours Of LeMons Forums]

There's been a huge shitstorm of controversy about the Black Widow Crisis on the 24 Hours Of LeMons forums, complete with conspiracy theories (in which yours truly is alleged to have been one of the Black Helicopter pilots involved in the cover-up) and attempts to make the rabble see reason. Of course, the People's Curse is here to stay- it's just too damn much fun- but we're definitely due for a history lesson here. After that, you can take the How Cursed Is My LeMons Car quiz and determine your Curse-O-Meter™ reading.

The music selection could have been a bit more creative, and the editing is on the hyperkinetic side, but those are just quibbles; this film follows Team First Blood from initial purchase, through the entire build, onto the race track… and then right to the People's Curse. Yes, this is the only team in 24 Hours Of LeMons History to win the People's Curse and the People's Choice!



Remember, the next LeMons race is just two weeks from today. See you there!

Now that 13 LeMons races have been run, we figure it's time to show the winners of each event. Since the Index Of Effluency is considered the real top prize of the race, we'll start with the IOE Champeens. Chief Perp Lamm didn't invent the IOE until the third race, which is the reason you're only seeing 11 cars. Detroit really dominates the Index Of Effluency, with five total winners; Germany has three, and Japan, Sweden, and Italy have one apiece:

Photo credits and thanks to The Mustache Race Team, Micah Jones, Nick Pon, Joey Church, Drew Colwell, Ben Ellinger, Eric Driscoll, Typhoon5000, Chris Campbell, Alec Peeples, Art Hare, David Spinnett, Chris Droste, David Houser, and Billy Elliot.

We had to shorten some of the accounts below, in order to keep our server hamsters from flying off their little wheels due to excessive speed; turns out the hamsters count all the words and can't handle too many of them!

#00: Ded Aardvarks, Chevrolet Cavalier


#01: Caintmakit Racing, Acura Integra



#2: Sofa King, Toyota Supra



#03: Mustache Race, Audi 4000



#3: eLEMONators, Chevrolet Monte Carlo



#4: Team First Blood, GMC Sonoma



#05: Team Chaucer, BMW 5 Series


#5: Junk Player Special, VW Jetta



#7: Ze Flying Brick, BMW 3 Series



#08: Crown Royal Victoria, Ford Crown Victoria



#8: Squeeze My Lemon Part Deux, Honda Civic



#9: B-Team, Ford Thunderbird


#11: Mustang Is Looking Fast, Ford Mustang



#12: The 98ers, Oldsmobile 98I am Eric, team captain of the 2008 LeMons Detroit(ish) team "The 98ers". Our car is a bone-stock 1992 Oldsmobile Ninety Eight. The car plowed worse than we ever imagined, which led to us taking the high road in the corners during the Toledo race. Amazingly, nothing on the car broke (we did get a flat tire during the race, but that doesn't count!). In a straight line, the Olds seemed to keep up with the Crown Vics, Plymouth Fury's, etc. However, our undoing was the darn corners. Any more than 48 mph around the main track's south corner resulted in copious amounts of tire howl, accompanied by large chunks of over-heated rubber from the front right tire banging against the floor pans. Even though the car proved to be much slower that we had anticipated, we were there to race, so we kept the car out on the track for as much of the race as possible. We are very proud of our 18th place finish, and we were happy to hear all of the other teams tell us that we were very smooth, consistent drivers. We all had a blast running the car around the track, and were stunned when we received the "Index of Effluency" award.



#13: Charleston Kennel Club Team Akim, Dodge Daytona



#14: Pink Ribbon Riders, Chevrolet Lumina


#15: Volvolution, Ford Escort



#17: The Latch-Key Kids, Dodge NeonThings started off great, but a bit wet. Ray ran the first stint. Made it through the first hour with no issue. Car was strong and handling really well. Just trying to keep it clean and pass when I could. Then out of nowhere the track pusher car pushes a dead car right into traffic ahead of the car in front of me. So, he slammed on his brakes, and so did I, but I still ended up rear ending him. Luckily, because of our reinforcements to the crossmember, only the hood really got hurt. The rest of the stint went really, really well. As the line got dry, I was able to pass any car I wanted with relative ease. I handed actually handed the car off at around 3 hours in first place. Unfortunately, I handed it off when we got black flagged for leaking gas.
Turns out the exhaust was heating the tank and overpressurizing it. We put on an elbow and sent our second driver out. First hour of his stint went well, but then the car randomly died. Came to the pits, we cycled the kill switch and it came back on. Sent him back out and the same thing happened again. Did that one more time, and then we kept him in for awhile trying to figure things out. We swapped some relays around and sent him out again to at least get in laps while we thought about it. Never happened again. Go figure.
He came in after about three hours. He said the car had been way down on power for the last 20 minutes or so and had shut off (lost radio communication as well). The cooling system was empty and the car wouldn't restart. We've been through this before so I immediately swapped crank sensors. Sure enough, things had gotten so hot that it had been machined by the trigger (causing the car to die). Finished the swap, filled the car up, changed drivers and sent it back out.
Things were once again going well and our third driving was driving excellently. He passed at will for the first 2 hours but was obviously down on power for the last part of his stint. He came in at about 3 hours. We topped the car off with water and sent out our 4th driver.
He was running really well, and was able to pass at will. However, ominously, the shifter started popping out of 3rd at the exit of the hairpin turn. About halfway through his stint, the car no longer shifts out of third. We suspect the bushings or clips on the shifter cables but find nothing. So, we sent him back out with just third, which didn't really slow him down. He also fought a drop in power at the end of his stint, but brought the car home in "good" shape after 3 hours.
We swapped a rad cap and filled the cooling system and sent out our 4th driver. Only having 3rd gear, he was clearly the fastest car on the track. We brought him in once or twice during yellows to top off the water. The car was going for less and less time before getting hot enough to pull power. He brought it in after 3 hours, and we swapped a tire and changed radiators. We also zip tied the shifter in the third gear position to try to stop it from popping out at the hairpin.
5th driver goes out, and things are pretty good for awhile. Then, he comes in with no 3rd gear. It's gone. Trans levers go into position, but it's not there. By some magic though, 2nd and fifth are back. We top off the car with water (now needing it about every 40 minutes) and send him out. He is a bit slower, but not nearly as much as you'd guess.
He comes in after about 2.5 hours, and I go back in. 2nd and fifth is not really that bad. Car is still a rocket in second and has enough power (and excellent handling) to pass people with ease in both long left handers. Team tells me I'm the fastest car on the track. I LOL. So, I drive for about 2.5 hours, stopping in to fill the car with water every 40 or so. The car goes from revving like mad to 6300+ to redlining at 4000. When topped off, it would run well again for 20 laps or so before dropping power again.
With 4.5 hours to go, we are near fifth position, and we send our next driver out (who was our 5th driver originally). He heroically drives the car around on no sleep in hot conditions with two gears and stopping every 30 minutes for water.
With about 2 hours to we put in our last driver. We are in 5th in front of the fury by a handful of laps. He does a great job of driving the car as fast as it could go and working his way through traffic. We did two water stops during his first hour. We find out we are 5 laps ahead of the Fury going into the last hour. He manages to move the lead up to 7 during the first 30 of the last hour before the car started dropping power. During the last 30 minutes he did an excellent job of babying the car enough so that the Fury only made up two laps because we didn't have to stop for water.
So, I guess that wasn't short. I'm sure I'm leaving out a ton of stuff, but that's it in a nutshell. All in all a great event as usual. The facility and course were awesome. A bit scary in the rain, but luckily I'm the only one who had to deal with that.
Now, we have to get the car repaired for Houston. Anybody got a cheap transmission for sale? Maybe a motor too?



#18: Rubber Biscuit Racing, Chevrolet CapriceThe car seemed to have plenty of torgue in that 30mph - 50mph range. Out team, The 98ers, figured that, if we keep the car out on the track, its reliability will offset some of its slowness. The Olds was reliable, but we were not prepared for just how fast others could get their cars around the track ... I guess handling is kinda' important in racing, huh?
Hey, we had a blast, and that's what counts.
We are not racers (I've stated this before), not independently (or collectively) wealthy, and don't have a lot of extra vacation time from our day jobs. So, we can only really do one LeMons race a year (we'd love to do more). So we won't see you @ Houston or T-Hill. But, we will most likely see you at next year's Toledo / Flat Rock event.
One of our team members works for PNC Bank. The Bank sponsored our team this year... which means that the bank knows even less about racing than we do!
Eric Driscoll - Team Captain



#19: Gimme A Box, Volvo 740



#20: Steve McQueen Lives



#22: Everybody Poops, Mazda RX-7



#27: RTT Tube Jockeys, Volkswagen Jetta



#28: Team Non Sequitur, Acura Integra



#30: Track Addict, Toyota Supra



#31: Team Polska Kielbasa, Nissan 300ZX



#36: Theta Tau Racing, Ford Probe



#37: Mary Kay Racing, Toyota Celica



#38: Team Sucker Punch, Ford Escort


#41: Under Development, Oldsmobile Achieva



#42: Peg-Leg Rum Runners From Outer Space, Ford Crown VictoriaHi, I'm Chris, the captain of #42 Peg-Leg Rum Runners from Outer Space!
Our car was purchased from a scrap lot for $413 after a tree fell on it. My father and brother who also drove along with us in South Carolina, set to work making preparations for Toledo.
Arriving in Toledo, the weather was dreary, and rainfall turned our pit area into a lake. We had planned for rain, had fresh wipers and the tires for it. Tech passed without even a murmer of suspicion, as it should be, and we made our way to the track. The car circulating, with myself at the helm, confidence was high. Unfortunately, this was the start of problems for us. After the green flag was flown, I was promptly black flagged because of transponder issues. We pried a larger hole in the trunk to verify the unit could have line of sight to the ground. Back out, driving harder to make up lost time, and AGAIN I was pulled in! Not having anymore of this, the transponder was removed and re-mounted on the outside of the trunk basin. We were stuck back into 32nd, I put the car to the test, hammering it through the 2" of standing water in the narrow track segments, making up positions. I was getting spray up through the A/C ducts but pressed on. I turned over the helm to my brother. Within 30minutes, he had returned, exclaiming that he was worn out. This was suprising considering he had no problem doing almost 2hours in the South Carolina Heat.
On to driver 3, friend of my dad's with no racing experience whatsoever...however the fact that he was an ex-cop seemed to be paying off. He was setting a fast pace, and taking my earlier comments to heart by staying out of trouble. By this point we had made up much lost ground, slotting into 21st position. Rotation 4 went to another friend, this time with Autocrossing experience. Everything was going fantastic through the rest of our first rotation, and by the time I made it back into the car, the track was even dry. Much to the dismay of competitors with much smaller cars, I went even faster, barnstorming past some teams in the top 5. By the time I had come in, I was beat, the car needed nothing but gas. I handed the car off and took it easy in the pits, getting a visit from one of the drivers from the #5 Junk Players Special. Kudos was to be had, and I felt bad I was too tired to be more receptive, but thank you!
Sometime into hour 12, we had made it to 11th position, and still eating up laps flawlessly...or so I thought. My father out on the track, I heard a crackle over the radio. The car was disabled! a hit? the fuel switch reset? The car was pushed in. My brother hopped into the trunk and reset the switch. the car fired right up, but that wasnt the end. Loud scraping was heard beneath the car. Worried, we pulled it into the pit and yanked the rear tires. The inside rims were scraped, and the car had struck the inside wall of the narrow segment. Apparently the wall contact had sheared off the main mounting point for the Watts Linkage. My father had a headache from having his helmet knocked against the roll cage, but nothing serious. We set to work about trying to remove or reposition the linkage, ultimately removing it. Slapped on stock-sized tires and debated chancing it and putting it back out there. a quick spin around the pits made a nightmare realized. the entire body of the car would sway up to 5" with the lightest touch, and contact the tires to the fender wells each time. Unwilling to put the team's safety in question, we shut it down, still in the top 20.
All was not lost though. the team had fun, and we sold our rear brakes to an ailing #08 Crown Royal Victoria team, which otherwise would have had to wait over 2 hours for a parts store to open, losing valuable time in the pits. Special Thanks to everyone over at FinalGear.com for pitching in where they could.



#44: Boondock Saints: Mazda ProtegeWe were in car #44 the flat black Mazda Protege. Had a blast, and we knew we had a quick car but had a bunch of preventable instances that cost us a top 5 spot.
For one, we had an early transponder issue. We were still passing everyone but a few on the track but when the lap counter came in we had only 20 something laps compared to just over a hundred for the top teams which was nowhere near right. We then did a bit of fixing which was ripping off a suspect piece of plastic under the car which might have interfered.
Then we got black flagged for noise. Then there were some other black flags for penalties.
And all during this, about half way through the race our clutch started to go from overheating. We came in and discussed it for a bit but said, "Go out! If it breaks, it breaks!" And we did. But after finding a good feathering technique allowed us to ramp up our speed and not slip/overheat the clutch, allowed us to stay out.
In the end, we got 15th and the car lasted for the whole 24 hours. Doing some calculations on lost time to fixing the car (about an hour) and black flags (90 minutes), plus our transponder issue (probably lost about 80 laps but were only able to argue back 30), we could have easily been in top 5. But as this was our first event, we learned a lot. We'll be back (probably with the same car) for next year, but this time well prepared.



#50: Bringin' Home The Bacon, Mazda RX-7



#55: Rusty Bucket List Racing Team, Pontiac Grand Prix


#60: Pleasant Valley Racers/Team PVR, Ford Crown Victoria



#63: Team Cavette, Chevrolet CavalierAfter surviving the pre-race downpour and the stringent tech inspection, we got out on the track. About 20 laps in, the car stalled. Assume PCM is fried. The PCM arrives around 8:00pm, but replacing it doesn't fix anything - no spark/fuel. We buy the $100 crank sensor. The old one is rusted in, the guts come out and leave housing in place. Go to Meijer's to get an easy-out kit. We finally get sensor housing out, replace sensor, car starts right up. Get back on track at 12:04am. Ten laps later car is low on power, overheated, and making strange top-end noises. Coolant low. Engine doesn't crank. We remove valve cover, find the rockers are loose. The engine won't bar over (seized). We drain oil and see water and metal flakes. Call it a day around 1am with only ~25 laps completed.
We think we have a good chassis, but obviously need some engine work before next year!



#66: Charlie Foxtrot Racing: BMW 325i



#67: Size Matters Chrysler, Plymouth Fury



#69: Team Von Gayrod, Pontiac Fiero


#72: Emergency Motor Sports, Dodge Neon



#77: Caped Crusaders, BMW



#82: Cougar Bait, Saab 9000Howdy. This is team Cougar Bait.
About 45 laps into the race, we were tapped in the rear, spun and hit a wall at around 50+mph (video here). They red flagged the course and towed us off, to a standing ovation. We then welded chains to the bumper, hooked it up to an Astro van and started yanking the frame straight, with the aid of big f’ing hammers and grinders. We lost the intercooler, put in a back up radiator and oil cooler and over the course of 4.5 hours managed to get the car back on track. We managed to pull up to 21st position and then fell back to 23rd due to blowing a head gasket and losing a piston. But we still crossed the finish line. We ended up netting Most Heroic Fix, even though Jalopnik thought they had scored it—but it’s all well and good because our hood was recycled and welded onto your roof so you could pass tech. ;-)



#85: Seven Lap Fiero, Pontiac Fiero



#86: Brawn's Backups, Honda Accord



#87: Dai Mondai II, Toyota Corolla FX16



#89: Dai Mondai I, Toyota CelicaOur team was #24: Dai Mondai, Toyota Celica and #9: Dai Mondai, Toyota Corolla FX16. I'm the guy who wandered past your car and offered the hub.
Our story started in a small town... no wait, that wasn't us!
We all work for Toyota in Erlanger Kentucky, and our team of rust buckets was formed in partnership with the University of Cincinnati's "E3" program (Emerging Ethnic Engineers).
Our cars are true beaters, and thanks to "First Blood", the Celica got beat hard. An old spare Corolla radiator, some pipe, hose, wire, miles of duct tape, a really big hammer, and lots of sweat got us back on track. We also got yanked off several times for noise and had the opportunity to make a new exhaust system twice. We also had the brakes explosively fail in the hairpin - spitting out the pads onto the track (not sure how I didn't crash then). Despite all that, we fixed, we finished, and the car was seriously fast - It was the fastest car on track after we wrecked, but supposedly somebody nicked that in the last hour. Our consolation prize was a hammer blow to the peoples curse, but we too voted them peoples choice.



#90: Focke Ewe, Volkswagen Golf



#91: Saabs Gone Wild- Round n Round, Saab 900



#93: Team Castor Civic-ensis, Honda CivicWe ran a 1993 Honda Civic CX Hatchback with (what we think was) a D16A6 that the previous owner had installed (and a few suspension goodies that the previous owner had installed), giving us about a 50% hp boost over the stock american CX hatchback (but only a few % more than the stock canadian one).
We started out doing half-hour shifts so that everyone would get to drive the car in the race. Despite all 6 drivers being in agreement that you don't win an endurance race by driving it like an autocross, our 1st, 2nd (me), and 3rd drivers all drove like aggressive idiots, resulting in a black flag (and a Max Mosely punishment) for me and a few scary spins for #3. Somehow we managed to avoid stuffing it, and our much calmer (and less experienced) 4th, 5th, and 6th drivers all had nice, clean, safe shifts that resulted in us being around 22nd.
Now having made sure everyone got a chance to drive, we shifted to being more competition oriented and doing hour shifts. Unfortunately, it turns out that our tiny stock brake rotors didn't dissipate heat quickly, and combined with the substantially faster (and dryer) track conditions after 7pm resulted in drivers 1, 2 and 3 all attempting hour-long shifts, but coming in after 30 minutes and needing the brakes bled after boiling the fluid.
After the third time this happened, we took a break to hunt for food and ducting, installed the ducting, and managed 50, 30, and 60 minute shifts for the next three drivers. After our second black flag for hitting a cone around 2am, we switched drivers. Then the other civic on the track spun right in front of us in a section of track with concrete on both sides and no room for escape. We hit him pretty hard on his rear-left wheel and on our left side, bending his rear axle (they were unable to repair it, :-( ), snapping our control arm, and doing as-of-yet undiagnosed damage to our engine. We were out, but we were fairly proud of how we did for a team with zero car-to-car racing experience.

You might also enjoy Motorweek's coverage of the LeMons South event:

[New York Times]

Photo Credit: Fabrizio Costantini for the NYT

It had been 24 hours of non-stop work, final checks and double checks, desperate scavenging for tools and parts which under normal circumstances would take weeks to acquire, but favors are called in, neighbors lend a helping hand, and the impossible becomes possible. We manage the installation with no time to spare, and the skies have opened up and poured down flooding rains upon Detroit, slowing our rush to the track

We arrived at Toledo Speedway about an hour after the green flag dropped with our car on a U-Haul tow dolly and a Ford Flex full of tools. We quickly pushed the car into the tech shed and the tech inspector stuck his head inside the passenger compartment, emerging with bad news: apparently they insist on complete rollcage welds. Who knew? With a short list of follies and a well-defined mission, we rolled the car to our pit and our pro wrench Paul Brown went to work. To say that Paul was a machine wouldn't be saying enough about the accuracy and speed with which he torched holes in our roof and finished the cage welds to race spec. As he jumped on top of the car to get just the right angle, the rest of us swapped the coolant out for water, spraypainted "99" on the shell, adjusted the seat belts, and taped the lights. Thanks to Team Cougar Bait, we also had a Louis Vuitton-flavored hood to use as sheetmetal for our roof patches. After we received our "Mostly OK" inspection clearance sticker and our car hit the track, the build team promptly passed out due to two straight days of frenzied wrenching.

The sound of our car pulling past on its way to the tech shed got our heads up in a hurry, though. In the first hours of the race we had earned two black flags and just tucked away a third on our last run. The car was detained for 30 minutes as a part of the penalty while we stewed over team strategy. If we upped our penalty count to four, the car would be booted from the race. Howard had earned himself the "Eliot Spitzer" punishment by hitting a barrel, which meant he had to publicly apologize to our team in a short statement. With a full tank of gas and a fresh driver, we resumed making laps.

After about an hour's worth of rest, I took a spot in the grandstands to watch the racing. Our driver was feverishly passing cars like it was the last half-hour of the race. Each of the passes became increasingly risky until we made contact with a mostly immovable object - a GMC Sonoma in olive drab livery. The wheel studs on our front left hub broke shortly after the accident and we all watched with a mix of horror and amusement as our wheel outpaced our car. A yellow flag was waved as our three-wheeled hulk slid into the runoff area.

With the front end slung from a tow truck's boom, our car was dragged into the pit. With the car back on jack stands and the damage illuminated, the immediate diagnosis was not good. The brake caliper, rotor, hub and lower control arm were all destroyed after making contact with the track surface. After scouring the internet for possible sources of used parts, the nearest yard that had what we needed was back in Detroit, 45 miles away. The idea was to get to the yard when they opened, order our replacements and cannonball back to Toledo for some lightning-quick wrench work. A glance at the yellow pages online put that plan to bed quickly - The junkyard wasn't open on Sunday. With the car relegated to its concrete pad and team morale in the proverbial Port-O-John, most of the team went to bed.

The rest of us stayed up to load the car onto the dolly and pack up the tools. With the car hanging again from a tow truck, we were sliding the trailer underneath when two members from Team Dai Mondai wandered over and surveyed the damage. After a brief glance, one of them asked, "That's all?" Stunned, I replied, "We don't have replacement parts." Their retort was a simple but beautiful, "We do."

After a knock-down-drag-out fight with the old, twisted suspension, we had equally rusty but much straighter components in place. The GT-S package on our car came with five-lug wheels, whereas the replacement GT hub had only four. We received a four-bolt 13" steel wheel and tire from Team Squeeze My Lemon Part Deux and we were ready. The car and I entered the track just as the sun was rising Sunday morning and my first stint began. The field of cars was much thinner than it had been when the green flag dropped on Saturday afternoon, mostly due to mechanical difficulties similar to or worse than our own. As I dove down into the bowl from the high-sided pit lane, I quickly learned the chief drawback from having cheap, worn tires was having very little grip available. The first few laps were a learning experience as I played within the limits of the car. It had tons of power and revved happily, but it was very light in the rear and prone to oversteer.

After a successful three-hour stint, I pulled in for fuel, tires and a driver change. We swapped rubber, filled the tank and sent the car back out. I shotgunned a few bottles of water and had resumed watching from the stands when it was announced that the People's Curse would begin in a half hour. For those not familiar with the People's Curse, here's a quick rundown: Each team gets one ballot to vote for the car that they dislike the most; the team with the most votes gets their car destroyed. This usually keeps people honest while flinging their crapcans around the track. Not Team First Blood. This team was more difficult to pass than a semi truck hauling a double-wide trailer meth lab on a two-lane road through Appalachia. After doling out the harshness to more than one driver on track for the first day and most of the night, they were a shoe-in for the Curse. The truck was rolled in front of the tech shed (having blown the engine just minutes before) to receive its just due. This is where Jay Lamm, LeMons Chief Perpetrator and organizer of the event, announced that Team First Blood had not only secured the People's Curse but also the People's Choice, a crowd favorite decided by a secret algorithm used to determine the most dapper vehicle on track. The winner of the People's Choice wins $500 in nickels. First Blood is the only team in 24 Hours of LeMons history to ever win both People's Choice and People's Curse. After being sledgehammered, axed and rolled on its side, the truck had its cage cut out by the Jaws of Life. Well done, First Blood, well done.

With 90 minutes remaining in the race, I hopped back into the car to finish out the day. The checkered flag finally dropped and the remaining 15 cars wheeled around for a victory lap. As I rolled into pit row, two of our crew members, Bill and Mike, jumped into the back of the car as we idled to our space. We were burned out, greasy and tired, but undeniably successful.

Everyone proceeded to the tech shed for the closing awards ceremony where Jay Lamm stood above the crowd to announce the standings. We had earned 31st place out of 52 running cars after 11 hours of total downtime. The 98'ers earned the coveted "Index of Effluency" award and $1000 in nickels for their stunningly horrendous Oldsmobile 98. The "Most Heroic Fix" award went to Team Cougar Bait for performing precision framework by pulling it out with a truck. Our pit neighbors, the Charleston Kennel Club Team, rightfully earned the "We Got Screwed" award for running three laps in their Daytona Turbo before blowing an engine. A marathon wrenching session and a new head yielded a running car and waves of cheering just before the award was given at the end of the race. Team Junk Player Special won the "Best Use of Banned F1 Tech" award for having sliding Catholic Schoolgirl ground-effects skirts. The overall winner with the most laps was Team Sofa King from Pratt & Miller, Team Sofa King, in their black Toyota Supra. At the finish, the Supra had neither dent nor ding. They put on a solid demonstration of what meticulous prep work and a clean racing line can do for a team.

Due to our excellent fabrication skills and proper utilization of preparation time, Jalopnik brought home the highly desired "Most Likely to Leave in an Ambulance" award. A very fitting prize for such a top-shelf race car.

After everything was packed and the teams headed home, we retired to the Bob Evans across the street. I'd like to personally apologize to our waitress for our slaphappy table manners and profuse usage of the honey. The table next to us didn't mind; we asked nicely. Really.

All of us learned plenty about metal fabrication, what it takes to run an endurance racing team, and the joys of pitside dining. Watch for us at the Arse-Freeze-Apalooza race this December; we'll be back with better tires and brighter foglights. We might even let another team win the "Ambulance" award next time.

Heck, we can tell you all about it, but we've put together a video of race for you LeMons nuts to enjoy:

Photo and Video Credit: Kyle Conner at Clutch Creatography

I asked LeMons official and Ecurie Ecrappe member TheEastBayKid to explain why First Blood got the Curse, and he couldn't say. Was it the no-doubt-terrible handling and extra wheels flying through competitors' windshields? Were the drivers suffering from Nam Flashback hallucinations that made all the other cars look like Ho Chi Minh's Peugeot 404, and driving accordingly? (Ed. - It was the driving, they stayed in the middle of the track making it impossible to pass their slower truck. They would also sit low on the track wait for a car to pass on the outside, then edge/push the car into the cones, a black flaggable offense for the outside car. Their driving was sneaky, conservative and annoying, a brilliant combination to get through 24 hours, but also one that'll get everyone else red-assed - Ben) We can't say, but we have no problem seeing the reasons for giving them the People's Choice trophy- just look at that thing! Race organizers were presented with something of a dilemma when it came to choosing the means of destruction for the Curse ceremony, since utter annihilation by earthmover seemed too harsh under the circumstances; the Sonoma had just blown up its engine on the track, so the "brick on gas pedal" method was out. Fortunately, the First Blood team itself volunteered to smash the living hell out of the truck using axes and sledgehammers, and then the track guys broke out the Jaws Of Life to finish the job. Good work, First Blood!

2nd Place: #5, Junk Player Special Volkswagen Jetta



3rd Place: #01, Caintmakit Racing Acura Integra



4th Place: #17, The Latch-Key Kids Chrysler Neon



5th Place: #67, Size Matters Chrysler Plymouth Fury

Yes, the Latch-Key Kids and Size Matters Chrysler teams are veterans of many LeMons races, with plenty of top-contender finishes between them. They'll be the ones to beat at Houston and/or Thunderhill this year!

By all accounts, the Fiero was quite fast (vindicating the legions of Fiero zealots who fill their forums with lists of reasons for the Fiero being the ultimate 24 Hours of LeMons car), but then disaster struck. They got rear-ended in most crushing fashion by a team that will remain nameless (because I couldn't get that info) and the brake lines took some sort of impossible-to-repair-quickly damage. Let's hope they come to Houston next month for another try!

Right behind the Supra is the #95 SharT Attack Racing BMW.


In third place, we have the #5 Junk Player Special VW.

Some heroic late-night wrenching — and a quick trip an hour north to Detroit — after yesterday's disastrous loss of a front wheel — has helped the #99 Celica get back on the track here at the Toledo-Detroit LeMons race. Jalopnik intern Andy Didorosi was at the helm when the Celica (and its Swedish roof) hit the track again around 6:30 AM. We're sure we'll have more details later this morning, as this Jalop was only able to make it down to the race for a quick one-hour check-in.

The hapless racer who got hit with the Sarah Palin Penalty ended up searching and searching for the stuffed bear, finally returning after quite a while… with a different stuffed bear! The LeMons Supreme Court took mercy on him and accepted the incorrect bear, however, and his team is back in the race now.

2nd place: #5, Junk Player Special

3rd place: #08, Squeeze My Lemon Part Deux

4th place: #67, Size Matters Chrysler

5th place: #22, Everybody Poops

I'm on Team "First Blood" #4. Last year we took Peoples Choice with our Back to the Future DeLorean and to make sure nobody outdoes us this year, we are totally outdoing ourselves! We've compromised the great performance of last year's 84 Supra for something we thought might be a distantly decent performing car....er.....truck. We'll be showing up with a 5sp 4.3L '91 GMC Sonoma that's been transformed into Rambo's chariot of carnage. I don't want to give up too much too early, we will eventually be doing killer video but I can show some teaser pics. There are still the graphics and props to be added so it will only get more insane.
This is what you get when 10 art school grads get nutty. I like to say I'm the only one who wants to build a race car, the other 9 just want to build a parade float! Most of us work as designers for GM so this is our outlet to buck all the criteria, human factors, and common sense in leu of emotional impact.