All I've wanted to do all day is stare at the 2013 SRT Viper. To lick its shimmering curves and caress its glorious carbon fiber details. But I'm busy and you're not here. That's what we've sent our photographer to capture every fapworthy detail.

The no-longer-Dodge 2013 SRT Viper has slithered out more than a day ahead of its New York Auto Show debut, revealing every angle of the gorgeous new America supercar. The feds may insist on giving it traction control, but they can't take away its voluptuous snakeskin, seen here courtesy of what appears to be Forza 4…

As I sift through teaser photos of the 2013 SRT Viper looking for clues before its debut this week, I'm reminded of the words of Chrysler's Ralph Gillies who compared it to "a naked woman on the beach" — mostly because Bloomberg mentioned the nude woman thing in one of their headlines again. Those traffic whores. (Coming …

Although still at least a year away from launch, Chrysler's published this first official "spy photo" of a development mule for the next generation 2013 Dodge Viper as it goes testing in the snow. Except it's really not the 2013 Dodge Viper. So what is it?

Ralph Gillies, Chrysler's top designer, told Bloomberg this week the next Viper will be inspired by "a naked woman on the beach" and will be "drop-dead beautiful." Fine — just as long as she's still engaging in that burn-your-legs-getting-out-of-bed fetish.