2011bmwx1 - Jalopnik

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BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
BMW X1: First Look!
Official BMW X1 Concept Shots Drop Before Paris
Skateboarding Graffiti Artists Hype Up The BMW X1 Concept
2010 BMW X1 Cute-UV Caught Covered With Nauseating Camo
2010 BMW X1

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MushyHeirloom
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
All right... lower it about two inches... good. Now cut that damn beltline another... okay... that's about right, inch and a half? Good. Go for it, that's perfect.
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Bumblebee
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
BMW: April Fools Day is April 1.
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domino
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
i'm not taking a peak, and i'm definitely not having a climax either. quite the opposite, in fact.
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DoctorNine
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Hideous. I will never buy/drive a Bimmer that begins with X. The 1-series wagon is the appropriate BMW vehicle if you want a car this sized. This X1 thing isn't going off-road, no matter what anyone says.
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pauljones
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Woo Hoo Hooooo!

Woo hoo hooooo!

hoo hooooooooo!

BMW just hit the wall

They always had it all

One Prozac a day

Not owned by a CPA

Their dreams went out the door

When they turned 44.

They had so many fans,

What happened to their plans?

They were gonna be a Buick

They were gonna be a star

They were gonna make cars fast

Those ass-engined Nazi slot cars were the past

But their tiny new SAV is now the enemy

Looks at its average life

And nothing, has been...

all right since...

507, CSi, and M6

Way before X2

There was the 2002 and M3

And music still on MTV

It's three pudgy SAVs in high school

Are totally uncool

Cuz its still preoccupied

With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

(1985)

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

BMW's made all the classics

They know every ring time

"2002 Turbo", "Elvis in a 507"

Even "E30 M3"

They rocked out to Wham!

Not a big Limp Bizkit fan

Thought they'd get a hand

On the market of Buick and GM

Where's the Isetta, three wheeled awesomeness?

And what's the other car that starred in Transporter?

When did reality become SAVs?

What ever happened to M5s, 850Csis

(and the radio)

507, CSi, and M6

Way before X1

There was the 2002 and M3

And music still on MTV

It's three pudgy SAVs in high school

Are totally uncool

Cuz its still preoccupied

With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

We hate time, make it stop

When did E34s become classic cars?

And when did SAVs wear BMW badges?

Please make this stop, stop, STOP(tick tick tick) and bring back

507, CSi, and M6

Way before X1

There was the 2002 and M3

And music still on MTV

It's three pudgy SAVs in high school

Are totally uncool

Cuz its still preoccupied

With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

507, CSi, and M6

Way before X1

There was the 2002 and M3

And music still on MTV

It's two pudgy SAVs in high school

Are totally uncool

Cuz its still preoccupied

With 19, 19, 1985
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Miscellanea
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Methinks that the Bavarian luxury automakers might soon find themselves deeply entrenched in detroit-style over saturation of products.
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Muscles Marinara
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Car brands keep trying to downsize the bare minimum size requirement of an SUV, so that lacrosse moms can trade in their Sequoias and Yukons for something that isn't, God forbid, one of those horrid minivans or worse, a station wagon... you know, something that actually does what it looks like its supposed to do. This does nothing for me. What's next, a lift-kitted Smart car?
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pauljones
07/01/09

@Muscles Marinara: Don't be a hater.

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pauljones
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Why? I mean, just frickin' why?

This makes no sense. Considering the backlash against things that are perceived to be SUVs (and let's face, that's how BMW is marketing it), it just makes no sense to arbitrarily add another SUV to their lineup, particularly in light of CAFE.

If they were looking to downsize their car line by getting rid of the X5, which, as it is, is only slightly bigger than the X3, and allowing the X1 to take the position of the X3, then this would make sense.

But as a random addition to the lineup, this makes no sense.
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Hello Mister Walrus
07/01/09

@pauljones: Think about it this way - if people in America who average 5'10" buy X3s, then you could probably sell a smaller, cheaper X1 to lots of people in other countries who average 5'6". It is not a random addition to their lineup - they are just taking advantage of a market niche that they had not previously participated in. It's a smaller market than say, the market for the 3 series, but it's probably big enough for them to be profitable.
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pauljones
07/01/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: Which still doesn't explain it's point in in the US market considering CAFE, or any market considering that the rest of the world already has the 1-series in 3-door and 5-door form. I think that someone has slipped something in the BMW product planning guru's beer.
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electricarchie
07/01/09

@pauljones: If this thing is a misfit, where does the x6 come in? Unwed backwoods cousin you only see at holidays?
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Hello Mister Walrus
07/01/09

@pauljones: This is obviously not designed for the US market, but since they're already making it, they might as well bring some over. It won't be a high volume seller, but it will probably sell better than say, the Acura TL. I don't think the 1-series hatchback makes this redundant. Why do people buy X3s or X5s when there are 3-series and 5-series wagons? It's exactly the same concept, only with a smaller, cheaper car.
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pauljones
07/01/09

@electricarchie: We try not to talk about the X6. Or the 5-series GT.

@cchannel: Wait, what?

@Hello Mister Walrus: And yet, I am willing to bet that if the X1, X3, and X5 didn't exist, the sales of 1-series, 3-series, and 5-series wagons would skyrocket.
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BMW_DOWN_SHIFT
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
where the fuk does this put the X3? I'm 5"10 and took the test drive in the X3 with 3 friends of similar height and build and it was tight.

What is this thing gonna fit besides 17-20 year old drivers?

fuk u bmw and these stupid contraptions. if it wasnt for the 3 series and 6 & 7 series i would be ready to ditch my love for your brand
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pauljones
07/01/09

@BMW_DOWN_SHIFT:

i wud have to say that if u are five point ten inches, then u shud have no problems fitting in teh x3 or even x1.

even if u were 5'10", u still shud not have a problem, unless u r wider than u r tall.

but yah, fuk bmw.

cadillac ftw, biznitches!
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Miscellanea
07/01/09

@pauljones: ISWYDT
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Paul Y. don't drive too fast.
07/01/09

@pauljones: ROTFLOL!!!1
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TheGuinnessTooth
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
BMW had a 1 series hatchback, but they didn't think it would sell in the US, so they built a coupe. Then they realized some people might prefer extra utility from their 1s, so they built a tall hatchback. These guys are going in circles. In a few months we'll be seeing raised 1 series coupes to compete against the raised 1 series hatchback.
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Paul Y. don't drive too fast.
07/01/09

@TheGuinnessTooth: It's like they saw all the weird niches that Subaru couldn't fill at a price 40% lower and figured they'd have a crack at it.

I'm waiting for the 3amino.
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Tyson
07/01/09

@TheGuinnessTooth: Wait, are you trying to say BMW is going to build an AMC Eagle-fighter? That would be pretty sweet, if 20 years too late.
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deus ex wagon
07/01/09

@Tyson: It's actually intended to be a smaller alternative to the Aztek in today's fuel-conscious market.
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DoctorNine
07/01/09

@deus ex wagon: Well played...
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Tossed Accord taco salad over Malibu face
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Just when I thought BMW branding and model niches.. had gone far enough...

They pump this out.

Meanwhile the 3 series wagon is becoming the do-do bird...

Horrible world we live in when BMW has to compete with the RAV4, CRV, Patriot, Liberty, Compass... among the shit from Hyun / Kia..

Sad day.
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Hello Mister Walrus
07/01/09

@Tossed Accordtaco salad over Malibu: What are you talking about? This is as much of a Kia competitor as the 5 series is competitor to the Honda Accord.
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Timtoolman, sporadically speaking
07/01/09

In reply to BMW X1: One Tiny Bimmer Soft-Roader
Personally, I love the thought of the resurgence of the hatchback. This is too cool with the manual tranny.
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Syrax
07/01/09

@Timtoolman, now with power tools!: They already have a hatch, the 1er:

This is just another useless unnecessary overlapping product.
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CorporateFelon
07/01/09

@Ambiguously Unfunny Syrax: Considering they dont sell that version of the 1 series in america, it's not that much of an overlapping product.

I keep saying the X1 would look so much better as a 2+2. Shorten the length a tiny hair and extend the door.
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bmoreDLJ
07/01/09

@Ambiguously Unfunny Syrax: But the X1 is sooooo much prettier...
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Syrax
07/01/09

@CorporateFelon: The X1 is based on the same platform as the 3 Series Touring. There's your overlap.
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Syrax
07/01/09

@bmoreDLJ: I don't like the 1er hatch, but I think it looks better than this one.
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brandegee
07/01/09

@Ambiguously Unfunny Syrax: Agreed. This is an ugly amorphous pile with a high center of gravity.
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MushyHeirloom
07/01/09

@Ambiguously Unfunny Syrax: ...and so anyone whose mind isn't filled with (this colour brown) will buy a 3-er wagon with AWD.
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Novaload
04/29/09

In reply to BMW X1: First Look!
Whew, that is fugly. Looks like an ancient Civic with that bubble ass. It couldn't even get over a speed bump without a full stop.

SUV. Super Ugly Version.
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Cognitive Friction
04/29/09

In reply to BMW X1: First Look!
I don't think it's ugly overall...just ugly for a BMW. If anything, the styling is forgettable and will blend into suburbia seamlessly.

It would be more palatable if BMW dropped the pretense of off-road capability and just called it an Estate wagon, though.
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Graverobber
04/29/09

In reply to BMW X1: First Look!
Will the X1 supplant the X3? That car is getting pretty long in the tooth. Of course neither of those cars are as single-eyebrow raising as the E38-amino-acid flashback camera platform. I just hope that the bird's next camera operator doesn't meet the same low- bridge destiny as the Google Maps car a couple of weeks back.
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