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Detroit, 4:30 AM
Thu Nov 12
31 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #2010porschepanamera more →

    Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of fuchikoma fuchikoma
    10/20/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Looks about par for a Porsche to me. A lot like a Boxster. Then, aside from the Tapiro, I've never seen a Porsche that would turn my head if it drove by... #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    fuchikoma was starred fuchikoma was unstarred
    Image of brandegee brandegee
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Ugh. A 500-horsepower 5-door hatchback with a Porsche badge and spiritual ancestor in the 928 has no right to be this boring. But it is. It's dull. It's Jacksonville, Florida, on wheels. Beige on taupe on gray dull. Duller than a Cayenne V6. Duller than a metallic bronze Venza. Duller than Bob Costas. Duller than a Kia Amanti or page 565 of Obama's Waterloo.

    And yet I cannot ignore Porsche at its finest. Here is a finely welded appliance for a dentist whose blow-up spouse tires of taking flack from her real housewife friends for running over construction cones, Pomeranians, and Ecuadorian children with the family GL450. Here is the Juno Beach real estate developer's chariot, perfect for point-to-point condo showings without the social tax. Need a ride? America's off the high-fructose corn syrup, so slide your lean frame in. Mission accomplished. Sign the form. And the Panamera just bleeds German. It screams Mercedes with a touch of crazy. I'm ugly on purpose. It's a superiority statement with circles and arrows and a description on the back of every pricey tidbit.

    I look at this spiritual black hole and must remind myself that, sure, Porsche can dial in a GT3 for a few wingnuts and sell a couple of row-your-own Boxsters, but they ignore the dentists (and bank managers and attorneys and federal loan officers) at their peril.

    /Times Online, USA, excerpt #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    brandegee was starred brandegee was unstarred
    Image of loquaciousmusic loquaciousmusic
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    I think that, from the back, the Panamera looks sort of like an AMC Pacer. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    loquaciousmusic was starred loquaciousmusic was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    After the Cayenne/Froggy Face on Wheels, the Panamera is a thing of beauty. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of snapoversteer 'bout to get told snapoversteer 'bout to get told
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    I understand the temptation to rely on pop culture references in humor writing. They make useful shorthand, and assuming your audience is familiar with the subjects, they can be funny.

    But doesn't this seem a bit overboard? In five years, no one will be able to understand a full 20% of this article. Car and Driver drives me nuts on this issue also. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    snapoversteer 'bout to get told was starred snapoversteer 'bout to get told was unstarred
    Image of Jeb_Hoge Jeb_Hoge
    10/19/09

    @snapoversteer smells like: Hell, Clarkson's columns are always loaded with references to current events and British personalities that usually I've never even heard of. But that makes them more interesting to me, for some reason. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Jeb_Hoge was starred Jeb_Hoge was unstarred
    Image of dolo54 blows minds and blows engines! dolo54 blows minds and blows engines!
    10/19/09

    @snapoversteer smells like: I understand what you're saying, but seriously, where's the beef? You might think it's ginchy to be so critical, but that attitude's gonna go over like New Coke. If you want to be in like Flint you've got to get down with the program, can you dig it? Oh, and balloon boy. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    dolo54 blows minds and blows engines! was starred dolo54 blows minds and blows engines! was unstarred
    Image of skierpage skierpage
    10/20/09

    @snapoversteer smells like: Don't have a cow, man. 2014's cultural archaeologists will just set GoogleArchivist to pre-2010 searching of the Wayback Machine at the Internet Archive and have a fine time decoding cultural references. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    skierpage was starred skierpage was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Not everyone can have even one, let alone TWO, chins as beautiful as Clarksons... #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    10/19/09

    @Turboner: I meant to put an apostrophe in there somewhere. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    10/19/09

    @Turboner: Jay Leno begs to differ. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    10/19/09

    @pauljones: Yeah, but his American chins are coarse and devoid of soul and character. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of Syrax Syrax
    10/19/09

    @Turboner: Soul and character? Clarkson isn't Italian either. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred
    Image of quayzar quayzar
    10/19/09

    @Syrax: Yeah Clarkson's chin is British so it overheats on the A40.
     Reply
    Edited by quayzar at 10/19/09 3:47 PM quayzar was starred quayzar was unstarred
    Image of Jeb_Hoge Jeb_Hoge
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Against all reason, the Panera-merica has actually grown on me. I wouldn't take it over a Rapide or QP, but it doesn't offend my sensibilities and I'd prefer it over most flavors of BMW or Benz. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Jeb_Hoge was starred Jeb_Hoge was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    10/19/09

    @Jeb_Hoge: I have unashamedly loved it from Day One. And endured much abuse for same. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of snapoversteer 'bout to get told snapoversteer 'bout to get told
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    I'd buy one, but I'd be too worried that it would attack the cathedral and kidnap Esmeralda. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    snapoversteer 'bout to get told was starred snapoversteer 'bout to get told was unstarred
    Image of OldeEnglishD OldeEnglishD
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Unbearibly ugly is Rosie O'Donnel in the middle of a fisting session, this is slightly less repulsive than that... #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    OldeEnglishD was starred OldeEnglishD was unstarred
    Image of Alfisted Alfisted
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    He's right and look ... the ass ended up behind the steering wheel. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Alfisted was starred Alfisted was unstarred
    Image of Buickboy92 Buickboy92
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Why does everyone not like the Panamera!!?? I guess I'm the only one who seems to love they way it looks. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Alfisted promoted this comment Buickboy92 was starred Buickboy92 was unstarred
    Image of ƒß✓ ƒß✓
    10/19/09

    @Buickboy92: Not the only one! I do too! I think we are the unheard majority in reality. It's just "cool" to dislike Porsche. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. *rocks back and forth* #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick promoted this comment ƒß✓ was starred ƒß✓ was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    10/19/09

    @ƒß✓: No, not at all! Many of us are huge Porsche fans. We just think the Panamera (and Cayenne) are really butt-ugly.

    If it makes you feel any better, I practically worship the brand. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
    Image of Alfisted Alfisted
    10/19/09

    @Buickboy92: You're not alone but probably in the minority. Personally, I think the Panamera is more attractive than the Bangleized 5-series. My taste is suspect, though - I also like the old XKE 2+2. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Alfisted was starred Alfisted was unstarred
    Image of Buickboy92 Buickboy92
    10/19/09

    @ƒß✓: Yes, I think we are the unheard majority too. We should stand up and fight against the oppression of Porsche! #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Buickboy92 was starred Buickboy92 was unstarred
    Image of Maymar Maymar
    10/19/09

    @Buickboy92: I loved the Panamera until it was announced that for now, North America's only getting the PDK. Now I just like it.

    Then again, I have an unhealthy obsession with the Rover SD1, so infer from that what you will. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Maymar was starred Maymar was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    10/19/09

    @Alfisted: I think that's the same reason I kinda like it now. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    10/19/09

    @Maymar: There's nothing wrong with obsessing over old Rovers, especially the SD1, which is a fine looking thing. I also have an obsession with P6s.

    Panamera thing... is its own problem. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of Buickboy92 Buickboy92
    10/19/09

    @Maymar: Ah, the Rover Rover SD1. Call me crazy but I think it looks a little like the Saab 9000. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Buickboy92 was starred Buickboy92 was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"

    Waaah #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
    Image of ThreeLitre ThreeLitre
    10/19/09

    @Dr. H. F. Danger: But no cock has ever bought a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder.

    ...Or a Ferrari 355 Spyder.

    ...Or a Ford GT.

    ...Or a Mercedes SLK.

    Clarkson is for comedy. Nothing more. He is right about the Panamera, though. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    ThreeLitre was starred ThreeLitre was unstarred
    Image of racerx racerx
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Okay, not the most attractive big sedan on the road but when was the last time this guy had something remotely complementary to say about Porsche? #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick promoted this comment racerx was starred racerx was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    10/19/09

    @racerx: I believe it would be the Cayenne, right before he said it has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis. He couldn't fault its technical prowess in the slightest, but he always rips on Porsches any way he can. Unfortunately, that's what people find hilarious, which is why they don't let Hammond review them. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
    Image of Syrax Syrax
    10/19/09

    @racerx: He really likes the Carrera GT, as everyone should. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred
    Image of ThreeLitre ThreeLitre
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    Yes, I suppose he would know.

    He is right though. Talk about the runt of the litter. Good god, Porsche.

    Evolution of a single model is one thing, and a unique design language applied to the entire range is also a good idea. But there's no excuse for just making it ugly. Especially when we know they CAN make really beautiful things (ie, Carrera GT). #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    ThreeLitre was starred ThreeLitre was unstarred
    Image of mechimike mechimike
    10/19/09

    @ThreeLitre: I dunno, the Cayenne is still Numero Uno Ugliest in my book. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    10/19/09

    @mechimike: But the Cayenne has to look like that for the sake of its being an SUV. The Panamera doesn't have to look like that. That makes it even worse. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of ThreeLitre ThreeLitre
    10/19/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: Yeah I pretty much just ignore the Cayenne verbatim. I struggle to think of any SUV that is actually 'attractive'. A Range Rover comes close. Maybe... #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    ThreeLitre was starred ThreeLitre was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    10/19/09

    In reply to Jeremy Clarkson: Panamera Ugly As "Inside-Out Monkey"
    It's impolite to speak so much about oneself. Plus, he mixes up baboon and buffoon. #jeremyclarkson
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
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