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Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus

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Ford Tempo Fanatic
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
Methinks the new SHO has serious potential. If Hennessey sees something in it, then it must be pretty good. Whether the after-market for the EcoBoost will reach heights of the Chevy 3800 V6, its too early for me to have an opinion on.
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POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
dud! my turboo camary gets moar sexy bee-otches then ur henassie tawras s.h.&o!

bwaa ha ha ha ha ha burn on u!!!!1!1!!1!!!!111!!!11!!1!!1!!
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
02/17/09

@ЯEVEЯEND POLAЯ STЯIKES AGAIN!: I hope that's not contagious. It's hard enough to get my doors adjusted right when the car's stock.
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POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION
02/17/09

@Van Sarockin: For a small fee, my sister

here will adjust your drawers, no problemo!

oh, doors, ahem never mind.
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
02/17/09

@ЯEVEЯEND POLAЯ STЯIKES AGAIN!: You are, as usual, far too generous! Perhaps another time.
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
And how will its longevity (and rebuild cost) compare to the old Yamaha mill?
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If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
I'll submit that the new Taurus looks to be a pretty good car. I'll even go as far as saying the SHO is cool.

However, a tuned SHO delves into a realm of "Buy American!" Tim Allen-grunt stupidity that I just can't be a party to.

And this is coming from a guy who thinks putting a Modular V8 in a Fox body Granada would be neat.
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theeastbaykid
02/17/09

@FromaBuick6: I dunno, hotrodded Grenadas are way higher on my list than hotrodded Tauruses.
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aSoundofSleep-less nights
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
I'm having this re-occurring wet dream of me getting up in the morning and going out to my garage to leave for work at 7am. There sits my newly tuned SHO. I start it up and it sounds like every other Taurus on the road, boring. I open the garage door, put it in reverse, and pull it out into the street. Waving to my neighbor I immediately stomp on the accelerator.
All four tires light up like hellfire from the farthest depths of Hades and screeching can be heard for miles. My entire neighborhood wakes up in terror of what is going on outside. Babies are crying, dogs are barking, women are being raped.
I let off of the accelerator and drive away calmly like nothing ever happened.
The beauty here of course is that no one will ever know it was I, in my boring old Taurus sedan.
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Jo Schmo
02/17/09

@aSoundofSleep: Nothing like the sound of early morning hoonage to get yourself signed up on the sex offender registry
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engineerd
02/17/09

@aSoundofSleep: I am laughing out loud at the "women are being raped" line. I'm definitely going to hell, and I'm sure you crossed some sort of line (Jezebel does not approve), but that was so damn funny.
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BTLFED
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
There is no way I would let Hennessey touch any vehicle I own, much less my new SHO if I had one. That guy is shady as shady can be.

I'd rather take my car to Billy Bob's house of performance and barber shop.
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Jo Schmo
02/17/09

@BTLFED has two bottles, big ones: That place is awesome I got an upgraded intercooler and a shampoo, cut and style
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philibuster
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
How many blocks down the street from his shop can you get before the transmission eats itself?
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The Auto Insider
02/17/09

@philibuster: About 8 blocks, which coincidentally is right where you'll find a Nissan dealer trying to sell a used GT-R....Cheap!
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aSoundofSleep-less nights
02/17/09

@philibuster:

Nothing like watching a tranny eat itself.

Had to.
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Deartháir II
02/17/09

@philibuster: Honestly, you kids and your obsession with blowing trannies.

And Wes is frightened of pauljones?
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MushyHeirloom
02/17/09

@aSoundofSleep: Hey, man, flexibility's never a bad thing...
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Jo Schmo
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
Hennessey Motorsports is proud to announce the all new Hennessey Taurus SHO upgrade kit:

Guaranteed to add at least 6 mindblowing HP to your new SHO.

Act now supplies are running out fast, only $7999!

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Deartháir II
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
I really, really want this, but not from Hennessey. With their reputation for quality workmanship, I'm afraid the first time I tried to drive it hard, I'd get a VROOMMMM... *POFF!* and then a huge cloud of smoke and an expensive repair bill.
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elwood
02/17/09

@Deartháir: Once the SHO Taurus actually hits the streets, there will be plenty of people capable of turning up the boost on the car. There's no way you'd be stuck with Hennessey, and that's a good thing as I sure wouldn't want to give the man my money.
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Six Flags Over Tomsk
02/17/09

@elwood: I'd personally hold out for a Roush version. Perhaps they could give it a paint job like that of the Tijuana Taxi?

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Deartháir II
02/17/09

@Tomsk is all about Murlopnik weekends!: That actually wouldn't be a bad paint-job (minus all the decals, of course) for a Roush-boosted SHO. Trademark that idea then try and sell it to them, quick, before they think of it.
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A strolling player got drunk and
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
I'm drinking Hennessey with Morrisey!

I'm drinking pinot grigio with Brian Eno!
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MushyHeirloom
02/17/09

@A strolling player can't find his avatar: Whatever inspired Brian Eno was a hell of a lot stronger'n alcohol.
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scroggzilla raids again
02/17/09

@A strolling player can't find his avatar: +1 for the Art Brut lyric
+5 for Pinot Grigio/Brian Eno, and a heart clik fer yer troubles
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MushyHeirloom
02/17/09

@Scroggzilla, Murilee's Personal Attack Kaiju: On a related note, since I forgot to reply earlier, you've been hearted for giving a shit about the Replacements.
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engineerd
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
Any ideas on pricing?

I've put the Taurus SHO on my list of possible replacements for the Mustang when the wife informs me she is with child. I also have a 3-Series BMW on that list. If this really gets 100hp/door then its in M3 territory and really gets my heart racing.
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Jo Schmo
02/17/09

@engineerd is going into Murilee withdrawal: Here is my list of possible replacements if my GF is with child:

1: Megan Fox
2: Tina Fey
3: Scarlett Johansson
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theeastbaykid
02/17/09

@Jo Schmo: Hey-yo! And I'll take an order of Tina as well.
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Boosted Lego Wagon
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
Also, I could do without the fancy badge. If it has 400+hp, you can cross "Eco" out and write "Moar" in crayon, and I'd be happy.
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The Auto Insider
02/17/09

@boosted-lego-wagon: Uh..quick look, before Wert changes it back.
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Jo Schmo
02/17/09

@The Auto Insider: FANTASTIC!
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engineerd
02/17/09

@The Auto Insider: Awesome
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Boosted Lego Wagon
02/17/09

@The Auto Insider: I'd buy that.
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jhubbz
02/17/09

@boosted-lego-wagon: hahaha idk why I laughed but if they're gonna boost it, its definitely out of "Eco" Territory. Unless the guy that built that "110 mpg 400hp" mustang works for Hennessey now
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MushyHeirloom
02/17/09

@jhubbz: I think the "eco" bit is due to the extra power added by the turbocharger, rather than a larger, less-efficient engine. Sort of like the Accord Hybrid, which was an Accord V6-3 with an auxiliary electric motor.
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Jeb_Hoge
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
Was it Hennessey that was having all of the customer/delivery problems? Are we past that now?

I'm daydreaming of a 400hp Taurus. Great googly moogly.
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elwood
02/17/09

@Jeb_Hoge: If you've got a twin turbo platform to start with, why stop at 400hp? Unless the engine block is junk and can't handle much more power than that, there's no reason you can't go arbitrarily high (I'm thinking 800hp Taurus).

@dwp: Hennessey is probably the least-reputable tuner out there. They've got a terrible name in the Viper community. And I don't know why the Jalopnik editors think a Hennessey-tuned Taurus that doesn't even exist yet is important. Once it comes out, people with more credibility and skill than Hennessey will be able to wring tons of power out of it.
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acarr260
02/17/09

@elwood: 800 hp sounds insane, but I just saw this yesterday - someone took a stock S2000 engine, added a big turbo, an intercooler, and a nice tune (and an exhaust that exits and shoots flames from the front fender) and registered 701hp:

[carscoop.blogspot.com]
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pauljones
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
Ring time?

/Sorry, dumbass comment. Someone had to say it, though.
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Boosted Lego Wagon
02/17/09

In reply to Hennessey Tunes New SHO Taurus
I am very excite! Like a B5 S4, except without the electrical faults (hopefully).
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