2009hummerh2 - Jalopnik

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Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
2009 Hummer H2 Black Chrome Edition Attempts To Overcome Price Of Black Gold
The Rumors Of The Imminent Demise Of The H2 Have Been Greatly Exaggerated, It's Actually Dying In 2014
Hummer H2 To Die By 2011, Take Cheap Gas With It

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LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
Here's something I just stumbled upon...

More can be viewed at [mkweb.bcgsc.ca]
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LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
So how did they really get the Hummer in that pic to look as though it's actually climbing a rock?

-Photoshop?

-Crane?

-Land Rover Chassis?
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smalleyxb122
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
Assembling the H2 is a relatively small part of AM General's business, and is unlikely to hurt the company significantly. This news is worse for the Hummer brand, and General Motors. While the "in" thing to do is rip on Hummers, the H2 is rather capable off road, and is a better on road vehicle than anything that could outshine it off road. It's a good only vehicle if you need to haul people and things on occasion, and enjoy the occasional off-road excursion. I'm not a huge fan of the H3, though. The mileage gains aren't on par with what you'd be giving up in capability (relative to the H2), but if that vehicle suits your needs, go for it. The H1 is the shit. You just can't try to fool yourself into believing that it is a practical vehicle. It's loud, uncomfortable, and sucks down fuel with very little utility. It's really best left relegated to "expensive off road toy".

It's really a shame that the entire brand has been vilified. Hopefully, when the brand is forced to fold, Jeep will be in a position to offer something more capable that that Commander for all around duty. Bring back the XJ, Jeep. You've lost your way.
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Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig)
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
I've seen so few H2 around in the past year, I'm starting to lean towards "cool again" myself. Preferably the SUT version.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@Ash78: They are what they are, I happen to like them, I don't own one, but I like them.
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RLJ676-LS3 Commuter Car - for the environment
01/27/09

@Ash78:

I'm with you, see my post above.

I actually really like the H3T, but not so much the H3. It'll hold some people, and a dirtbike, and be reasonably capable off road. Plus, it will piss off hippy types.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@rlj676-Carbon Footprint Size - Clownshoe: Yes, the H3T is a perfect off-road vehicle. Factory front and rear lockers, great ground clearance, and excellent fording abilities.
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RLJ676-LS3 Commuter Car - for the environment
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
At this point I want a H2 just to spite people with a problem with them. Anything this "uncool" has to be cool.
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pauljones
01/27/09

@rlj676-Carbon Footprint Size - Clownshoe: I want a Pinto, too.
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TampaRon
01/27/09

@rlj676-Carbon Footprint Size - Clownshoe: I(ts really not cool no matter how you look at it...unless you are a douche bag, then its cool.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@TampaRon: They get better gas mileage than the Infiniti QX56 and Nissan Armada, and I don't see anybody calling the owners of those douche bags. I happen to think most Prius owners are douche bags, but I don't go making a "FUPRIUS" website and lumping all Prius owners into the same category. I'm sure some are very nice. A lot of Hummer owners are involved in Red Cross operations, have very successful toy drives for children, and donate time at children's hospital taking kids for rides in the trucks (kid's love the trucks by the way). It's just plain wrong to lump all Hummer owners in the same group, you seem much better than that. Leave that kind of moronic across-the-board classifying to the liberals, they commit ignorant acts like that.
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RLJ676-LS3 Commuter Car - for the environment
01/27/09

@TampaRon:

If you actually have to cross giant streams, and off-road, etc, AND want a warranty, there aren't too many options. I guess I won't let the enviro-nazi's tell me what's cool.

There are plenty of other vehicles that have less function that aren't as "uncool." I think there has to be some jealousy factor involved, as they are clearly not cheap. Also, the ownership by a considerable number of jerkoffs does not ruin the car completely to me, only the yellow ones. In the same way I don't dislike BMW's because they're alledgedly driven by "pricks".
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th1nwhiteduke
01/27/09

@rlj676-Carbon Footprint Size - Clownshoe: Ha, that's what I've said since day one. If I can bring out that much anger from some random stranger, it's worth it to drive one.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@th1nwhiteduke: I'm going to have to agree with that.
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theeastbaykid
01/27/09

@rlj676-Carbon Footprint Size - Clownshoe: I like your thinking, though I think the Prius is getting to that point too. Now THAT would be a helluva garage.
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EMPM, Esq.
01/27/09

@leavethegun-takethecannoli: "Leave that kind of moronic across-the-board classifying to the liberals, they commit ignorant acts like that."

Wow, way to ruin your argument with a stereotype.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@EMPM, Esq.: That was a joke for TampaRon, continuing from another post. But thanks for noticing.
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elwood
01/27/09

@rlj676-Carbon Footprint Size - Clownshoe: If you HAVE to cross giant streams and off-road and whatnot, then you probably ought to find a different route to the grocery store, because enough of that is going to break your H2 as well.

If you WANT to do that stuff, there are plenty of vehicles available new (FJ Cruiser, Jeep, etc.) that are just as capable (if not more). Plus, you'd be better off buying an old Jeep for cheap, building it up, and forgetting about the warranty.
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LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
01/27/09

@rlj676-Carbon Footprint Size - Clownshoe: Awesome way to get more than ten replies dude.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@elwood: The FJ Cruiser is garbage. The unibody has a tendency to crack when taken off-roading.
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BenjiS
01/27/09

@leavethegun-takethecannoli: um, the FJ is body on frame, just the way God intended trucks to be. You may be thinking of a grand Cherokee.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/28/09

@BenjiS: No, it's the FJ, check their forums.
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Maxichamp
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
Does this mean the site FUH2 will be shut down?
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
Listen, while it might not be your cup of tea, you guys have about as much of a right to bash the Hummer as I do the Prius....wait that argument doesn't work for some reason, needs more logic or something, what was I saying? Oh yes, bash away.
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Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig)
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
I still think it's kinda sad they didn't hybridize the H2 before anything else (eg Yukon/Tahoe). I thought it might be a nice about-face and nod to their critics if Hummer had reinvented itself as the brand of clean diesels and hybrids...which are simultaneously "green" and torquey for offroading, too. No brand equity lost, only the potential for gain.
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theeastbaykid
01/27/09

@Ash78: That would require foresight on the part of GM. And its partner in crime, pixie dust.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@Ash78: Nay Nay. That's actually a great idea. U.S. car companies don't do great ideas.
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Cognitive Friction
01/27/09

@Ash78: Hmm, a bio-Hummer...they could've called it the Bummer
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averyrm
01/27/09

@leavethegun-takethecannoli: It's hard to be a douchebag while saving the planet, there goes the target market.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@averyrm: I assume that equates to the smugness of Prius owners?
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Graverobber
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
And so you ask me, why I am blue

You see, I wanted to buy and H2

A HUMMER I think will complete me as a man

As for my carbon footprint, I don't give a damn

But now my heart's been broken as they've stopped making more

The ones on the dealers lots are old and dirty both of which I abhor

No, give me a fresh one that smells of plastic and oil

One that's just left the factory, built by hard labor's toil

I want it to gleam, not one mile have

I'll trade in my Prius, my milage I'll halve

I need one that hasn't been soiled by the rain

For I'm buying on Spec, it's money I'll gain

You see I believe that gas prices will drop

And then there I'll be with a Hummer, brand new, to shop

There won't be any quite as nice as is mine

And many a compensator will want one that's fine

Matt may think the Prius, with incentives is prudent

a way to make money, he's quite the econ student

But I know much better, I have an aim

For raking it in, when low gas prices are claimed

For no one expects that gas will be cheap

So I'm playing the odds, I should make a heap

When selling my HUMMER, of course I could be wrong

And if so I'll be selling another hummer, one with a dong
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Boosted Lego Wagon
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
So in the future it'll be impossible to get a Hummer? Are we all getting married or something?
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pauljones
01/27/09

@boosted-lego-wagon: Hummers will be replaced by Tata Nooners.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@boosted-lego-wagon: aah, the three rings of marriage, engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer-ring.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@boosted-lego-wagon: In other news....scientists have discovered a food which when eaten, completely obliterates a woman's sex drive....it's called......wait for it.....Wedding Cake.
www.instantrimshot.com
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Cognitive Friction
01/27/09

@boosted-lego-wagon: @pauljones: @leavethegun-takethecannoli: @tiberiuswise: ADDITIONAL GENERIC FELLATIO JOKE
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damnelantra™
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
buy build you mean take a yukon and attach the hummer badge, right?
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Mad_Science
01/27/09

@damnelantra™: ...and 3/4 ton running gear and locking differential.
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damnelantra™
01/27/09

@Mad_Science: sshuush... your ruining my comment
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/27/09

@damnelantra™: lol
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Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig)
01/27/09

In reply to Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production
Stop-Hummer time
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pauljones
01/27/09

@Ash78:

Can't sell this!

doo, doodoodoo, doodoodoo, doodoo.
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