Jalopnik: 2009 bmw 1-series

2009 BMW 135i, Part Three

Wes Siler — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Why you should buy the 2009 BMW 135i:
You like the idea of a driver’s car, but you don’t really like driving that much. You heard the 135i was the car to drive this fall. You’re a life-long BMW fan and you have a penchant for blinders. You’re a badge snob. You’re all of the above and you really don’t have an eye for a deal.

Why you shouldn't buy this car:
You want a four-seat coupe that drives like a sports car. You have a collection of old BMWs and want the modern equivalent to use as a daily driver. You’re one ticket away from losing your license. Your garage floor is only rated to hold 3383 LB. You’re spending your own money.

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: Yes
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: Yes
Hairdressers: Yes
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: Yes
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: No
Soccer Moms: No
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: No
Very Serious Businessmen: No
Sheiklets: No

Also Consider:
• 2009 Subaru WRX
• E46 BMW M3
• E39 BMW M5
• 2009 Chevy Corvette
• 996 Porsche 911
• Lotus Elise SC and packing lightly
• 1990 BMW 325is w/springs and dampers; Yokohama AVS Intermediates; K&N filter; chip; exhaust; rebuilt engine and gearbox; $36,000 in your pocket.

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: BMW
• Model year: 2009
• Base Price: $35,600
• Price as Tested: $46,945
• Engine type: 3.0-liter twin-turbo inline-six
• Horsepower: 300 @ 5800 RPM
• Torque: 300 @ 1400-5000 RPM
• Transmission: 6-Speed Automatic
• Curb Weight: 3384 LB
• LxWxH: 171.7" x 68.8" x 55.4
• Wheelbase: 104.7"
• Tires: 205/50R-17 / 225/45R-17
• 0 - 60 mph: 5.2 seconds
• Top Speed: 150 MPH
• 1/4 Mile: 13.6 seconds @102 MPH
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 17/25 MPG
• NHTSA crash test rating: TBA

Also See:
• 2009 BMW 135i, Part One
• 2009 BMW 135i, Part Two

2009 BMW 135i, Part Two

Wes Siler — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Exterior Design: ****
Easily the best-looking Bangle BMW, the 2009 BMW 135i excels in proportion, if not in detail. Straight from the front, there’s little indication of the 135i’s purpose, but from there back it’s classic BMW two-door updated for the 21st century.

Interior Design:***
Restraint and simplicity do the 135i’s interior many favors. Still, it would have been nice to see an even simpler approach taken without sacrificing the quality. Leather-clad Recaro sport seats would have been a good starting point. The 1-series European economy car roots show in the cheap secondary plastics used on the center console and dash. Not something we’d want in a $46,000 car.

Acceleration: *****
The twin-turbo 3.0-liter inline-six is the pick of BMW’s range, providing its bigger, heavier cars with ample acceleration. Here, it’s ridiculously fast for a non-M car, and much, much torquier too. You can pretty much leave the gearbox in third for any serious driving, using the low-down grunt to carry you out of corners and the high-end rush to blast you down straights.

Braking: ****
Excellent both in town and at higher speeds, we couldn’t provoke any fade, which is not something we can say of most Bimmers.

Ride:***
Firm but controlled, just like a European performance car should be.

Handling: **
As a BMW fan, it hurts me to do this, but I’m knocking a star off for failing to live up to expectations. The BMW is a three-star handler when you want it to merit five stars. Sure it’s rear wheel drive, sure it’s got firm springs and dampers, but when pushed, it doesn’t communicate with nor involve the driver to the degree a true sports car should. It’s still fast, but beyond the sensation of speed, it’s just not fun or rewarding to drive.

Gearbox: ***
We’ve driven 135is with both manual and automatic transmissions. This time around we got lumped with an autobox. At normal speeds it’s fine, if unremarkable. At higher speeds it’s too keen to upshift, meaning planting the throttle results in several seconds of downshifting delay before the acceleration you want is achieved. Overriding the system with BMW’s frustrating paddle system results in reasonably fast shifts, but since both paddles go forward and back, you’ll be pushing one or the other the wrong way if you try to shift in a hurry. Luckily, you don’t need to shift much in the 135i, so by just selecting third gear, then getting on with driving, you don’t have to deal with the gearbox at all.

Audio: ****
Ours came with the optional $400 iPod adapter, $2100 iDrive Navigation and $595 Sirius radio. It sounded great and connected easily to an iPhone, which was also easy to control via iDrive. Sirius is also our preference over the more-common XM. We wouldn’t want to pay for these options ourselves though; the inline-six soundtrack is all we need.

Toys: ****
If you’ve used any previous generation of iDrive, you’ll be amazed by how simple and intuitive it is to use now. The best car-based human/machine interface on the market, it provides easy, eyes-free access to the decent navigation system and all the secondary functions.

Value: *
If the 135i handled, we’d be giving it at least three stars for value. But it doesn’t. So instead of a driver’s car, you’re paying $35,600 (base) for a car with compromised packaging. The $46,945 as-tested-here price is absolutely scandalous and leaves us wondering why anyone would spend this kind of money on a 1-series. The 2009 Subaru WRX starts at just $24,850, has real driver involvement, similar performance numbers and in hatchback form, real practicality. We couldn’t justify a 135i for ten grand more, but especially not for 20 grand more.

In case you’re wondering, our car was equipped with $500 metallic paint, $600 cold weather package (heated seats and a ski bag), $3,400 Premium Package (power seats and some fancy, but irrelevant doodads), $1,200 Sport Package (Sports seats and thicker steering wheel + paddles), $1,325 automatic transmission, $2,100 navigation system (iDrive), $400 iPod adapter, $595 Sirius radio, $350 rear parking radar and an $825 destination and handling fee. Sure, we’d eliminate most of that if we were spending our own money (which we wouldn’t), but the 135i is still damn expensive.

Overall: **
A nice little car that’s insanely overpriced, sacrifices practicality and space for a longitudinal inline-six and rear wheel drive, which it then fails to take advantage of to become a real driver’s car. Great engine though.

Also see:
• 2009 BMW 135i, Part One

BMW 1-Series Hatchback Spotted With Manufacturer Plates

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:00:00 EDT

We've got to give credit to Phil, a BMW 1-series hatchback is something that those keen of eye might have missed driving around here on US soil and, even if some would have noticed it as an oddity, they might not have been so quick as to get such good photos of the thing. That it has New Jersey Manufacturer plates is no surprise, as most special Bimmers do. The question is, will the BMW 1-Series five-door, which is sold in Europe, join the 2009 BMW 1-Series already here in the states?

Probably not. If we had to put money down we'd say that this is just a car here for engineering evaluation purposes, an advertisement or something else. Nevertheless, we can dream can't we? (Thanks to Phil for the photos)

EXCLUSIVE: "The Ramp", A Documentary by Jeff Schultz

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:20:00 EDT

"There's a fine line between genius, and insanity — and a hair brained scheme, and a revolutionary idea." posits this film, and we agree. As a result of our early discovery of the 2009 BMW 1-Series themed Rampenfest viral marketing campaign, we have been offered the exclusive rights to bring you the world wide documentary premier of "The Ramp". The thirty minute movie chronicles the men, the mission, and the madness of an attempt to launch the 1-series from Germany to America by way of ramp. And before you get to thinking, "Bah, that's not too hard," the attempt is not designed to simply go from the imaginary town of Oberpfaffelbachen, Germany to say, New York City. No, the car's intended target is San Francisco. So grab some popcorn and a comfy chair, sit back, and enjoy the ~~frigtening naivete of physics~~ ~~terrifying Deutsche chompers~~ movie in three parts. ED: Yes, we know we're probably just shilling for BMW, but they're practically making fun of themselves here, so how could we not run with this? UPDATE: All three parts of the video are now below the jump to prevent the threesome of streams from all playing together.

The Ramp, Part 1

The Ramp, Part 2

The Ramp. Part 3

Download the high res version at the site "Jeff Schultz" has set up for the movie: Rampenfest.com

Woe unto thee in cubical farms, for this is our greatest attempt yet to get you canned

"The Ramp" Trailer Online, Documentary Film Of 2009 BMW 1-Series "Launch"

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:15:00 EDT

We first dropped news of what seems to be the viral ad campaign for the 2009 BMW 1-Series called "Rampenfest" a couple of weeks ago, but now there's an update on the progress of things. We received an email from "Jeff Schultz," the apparent documentarian, congratulating us on being the first to discover the project and informing us there's a poster in our future for the effort. We smell direct marketing, but what the hey, maybe we can give away a poster. Anyway, the trailer for the film we've got above is also over at the Rampenfest, and it's ripe with German stereotypes, bizarrely large teeth, and a ginormous ramp in the fake town of Oberpfaffelbachen.

2009 BMW 1-Series Convertible

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:00:00 EST

In case the word didn't get out, it's convertible day at BMW. First they throw down with the new BMW M3 Convertible, and then they show their ace card the new 2009 BMW 1-Series Convertible. The littlest BMW is sporting a hot new powered drop-top and the teeming masses are all over it like gooey French cheese. Seriously, It took 15 minutes to hack away at the crowd to get decent pictures. Anyway, as expected, the top drops away silently and smoothly into the trunk leaving about as much space as you need for a day bag.

The models were kind enough to run it up and down for us a couple of times and it seems to work well. The interior is same as on the current car, but the headliner is a strange stretchy cloth that does the job of covering up the top's inner workings. The little trim detail which runs along the edge of the top is a nice brushed piece of stainless steel, adding to the overall precise look nicely. Now if only they can down what is sure to be a ridiculously high price tag.

2009 BMW 135i Caught, Raced In Detroit

Ben Wojdyla — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:03:00 EST

Even thought we may have let the cat out of the bag on the viral marketing campaign, it seems somebody already has a 2009 BMW 135i sporting manufacturer plates from Jersey running around the frigid and salty streets of Detroit. When out and about today we snapped this one in a parking lot and to our luck it caught up to us on the way out. After a couple minutes in traffic, we both ended up on Woodward Ave and of course stop light pulls were the order of the day.

There we were mid day sun cutting through the crisp winter air, salt like a lick on the street surface, mano y mano. Brand new BMW 135i with a flappy paddle shifter versus '99 Audi A4 2.8 manual. Wisps of exhaust drifting in the breeze. Green. Wooooooooooooooosh! Clutch, shift, woooooooooosh, clutch, shift. We kept things civil and didn't go past the speed limit, but sweet merciful crap, that thing is fast. Honestly there was no chance to start, who are we to turn down a couple of runs? Do want.

Rampenfest To Launch BMW 1-Series From Oberpfaffelbachen

Ben Wojdyla — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 08:00:00 EST

Taking a page out of its MINI playbook, BMW appears to be setting up some very clever guerrilla marketing to promote the 2009 BMW 1-series. Rather than shovel another recycled "look at the amazing precision of this new car" advertising campaign at us, BMW may be going in a different direction for the tossable new sports coupe and convertible. The story of this "viral" advertising begins with the video you see above, and we've done enough digging to figure out where it may be leading. Hit the jump to find out.

The video is supposedly the work of an American videographer named Jeff Schultz. Jeff's Youtube account is suspiciously centered around this odd 454 meter tall ramp he happened to find in the a Bavarian hamlet named "Oberpfaffelbachen." Amusingly, the city of Oberpfaffelbachen is not a real place, this much has been confirmed with the most Bavarian of our associates. If you were to follow the lead of Jeff's profile on the site, you would end up at his wordpress blog - a seemingly clumsy attempt at keeping everybody updated on his ongoing wanderings through Bavaria. Now if you're paying attention, you'll notice the odd "Oberpfaffelbachen" keyword prominently displayed. A little Google searching will reveal the towns homepage - and that's where the the whole thing starts looking like the viral advertising it is.

Oberpfaffelbachen's fictional web site makes it seem like any other idyllic German town. The site is complete with an 'About' section, profiles of the town council (one of whom has a Friendster profile), a little history, and most importantly, all sorts of allusions to an upcoming commemoration of the fictitious ramp. The pomp and circumstance even humorously includes a "Miss Ramp" pageant (Send in your pictures right now! The qualifications are you must be female, older than 21 and willing to e-mail them your picture!). It even has a a fairly amusing "Welcome to Oberpfaffelbachen" video from the "mayor".

But let's get down to brass tacks. What the hell is the ramp all about and what the hell is "Rampenfest." Heading over to that section of the site is where the viral marketing becomes clear. It seems that rather than ship the BMW 1-series across the ocean, BMW is planning on launching the little car to the US by way of an imaginary 454 meter ramp set up in the imaginary little burg:

"What is Rampenfest? Only the most amazing event in the history of Bavaria. To celebrate the launch of the new BMW 1-Series in America, we have constructed a gigantish Ramp to launch a BMW 1-Series into America. Our ramp stands an impressive 454 meters — tall enough to launch a 300-horsepower 1-Series over the Atlantic and into America!"

If what we're reading is correct, not only will they pull off the greatest hoon homage to the 'Dukes of Hazzard' in history, but they'll be doing it with the greatest imaginary festival to hoonage ever, drawing ramping connoisseur from far and wide.

While we could be wrong on all accounts here, this seems like the makings of an absolutely epic viral marketing effort if we're right about where BMW is going with this concept. For the moment, we're willing to suspend disbelief and hoist our fictional steins high until we find out for certain where this twisted tale of super amazing rampage across the ocean leads. {Hat tip to Adam Frucci!)