If you ask the Society of Automotive Engineers of Japan, the greatest milestones in their industry range from the ABS system on the '71 Nissan President to the Subaru Impreza WRX STI... and 238 more.

Do you need four-wheel drive (or even rear-wheel drive) to go crashing around on dirt roads? As I learned putting hundreds of miles on fire roads in the Trinity Alps behind the wheel of a CRX, hell no!

Note to marketers: you probably don't want to carry the poolroom metaphors too far when you're applying them to an automobile.

Like, there's this weasely-looking little guy, ya know, and he wants change for a dollar. So, like, I changed my SUV into a truck and took his money! Yeah, I totally made him my bitch!

We really, really wanted the 2000s iteration of the Marauder to be as badasstical as its NASCAR forebears (or at least the admittedly bloated yet still fantastic X-100 Marauder), but its Grand Marquisness was a bit too apparent.

Based on anecdotal evidence, we assumed that the P71 Crown Vic would be one of the top five most reliable LeMons cars, because that 4.6 Modular engine never breaks, but in fact it came in 13th place out of 38.

What's the most reliable LeMons Ford? The Escort, which (just barely) beat out the Crown Vic Police Interceptor. Though its ranking here got knocked down by the large number of bottom-third failures, you've got an excellent chance of driving all weekend when you go with the little front-drive Ford (and, yes, we're…

Most Mazda racers enter Miatas or RX-7s, but you're actually better off- statistically speaking- with a Protege, 323, or other Mazda. 626s haven't done so well, but otherwise Mazdas have done great.

Check out that near-perfect three-way split for the VWs! That means you just never know how you'll do when you bring a Golf or one of its cousins to a LeMons race. Will it grenade the engine? Maybe! Will the electrical system poop out? Could be! Or will the car keep buzzing around the track all weekend? It's happened!

"But, but-" you're probably saying about now, "The Prelude and Accord are different cars!" Not for our purposes! Subject to all the head-gasket maladies of their smaller Civic siblings, but without the nimble handling, the Prelude and Accord have been notable mostly for LeMons mediocrity so far.