Nissan announces the van to make all other vans jealous, the NV200. In a technological breakthrough, the NV200 was designed to carry both people and cargo, but not necessarily at the same time. Well, except dead hookers, but are they really people?

Three versions will be built: a van, a van with stowable, space-eating seats, and a van with seats so heavy they will never be removed.

Nissan is expanding its commercial vehicle operations during this global economic downturn. Does this make sense? Andy Palmer, Nissan's head of global product planning thinks so. That and they are envious of the success of the Freightliner/Daimler/Dodge Sprinter and Ford Transit.

The NV200 was designed to house two European pallets, or 20 dead hookers (wet).

Like most vans, the cargo area is important. However, the cavernous interior also means the passenger variants can hold lots of people. We expect them to be especially popular with "guides" on the southern US border.

Unlike our competitors, we are using Stow-N-Go seating, but we can't call it that. Also, unlike our competitors, our seats will eat up interior space when you need to go to Home Depot.

Unlike some companies, we look at the gaps between panels and make sure they are uniform? Anal? Sure, but we're Japanese!

As a result of our tie-up with Renault, we have French doors that will automatically open in fear when you approach.

Built on the same platform as the Cube and Versa, we modified it with leaf springs in the rear so it could carry more than three people.

Engine choices are an anemic 1.6L gas engine at 108 hp and 153 Nm or a 1.5L diesel engine at 86 hp and 200 Nm of torque. A five-speed manual tranny will be offered with the shifter on the dashboard.

In order to be more sexual predator friendly, we will offer a rear-view camera and lots of storage spaces, including a secret storage spot large enough to hide a camcorder, false papers or GHB bottles.

We have some safety stuff like brakes and air bags.

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