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The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
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Armand
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
When I was a kid, I loved all the Herbie movies. The Love Bug, Herbie Goes Bananas, Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo... I devoured them. I became obsessed with air-cooled VWs as a result of those movies, and while I've moved on to other cars since then, I still turn and look when I hear the sound of an air-cooled flat four.
Then, one day a while ago, I accidentally saw part of Herbie: Fully Loaded while channel surfing. A little part of me died that day, leaving a cynical shell of a car nut. I just hope Disney doesn't try to make a quick buck on something involving a Peugeot 504 or Toyota Landcruiser FJ40-- if they do, I'll have no childhood car memories left to hold on to.
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Adam
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
Race the sun was one of my all time favorite movies back in the day. I'm not joking... I am kind of a nerd though.

Actually, I completely forgot the name of it until seeing it in this list. Thanks Jalopnik!
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Al Navarro promoted this comment Edited by Adam at 08/05/09 7:27 PM Adam was starred Adam was unstarred

philibuster
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
28 seconds into the herbie clip: the old penis in the popcorn trick.
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theholymac
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
Here on the University of Minnesota Solar Vehicle Project, the "Race the Sun Official Drinking Game" is a traditional activity. You think that movie's bad? Try racing a real solar car 2400 miles, THEN watch the movie. Good lord, they're SITTING on their solar array!
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
08/05/09

@theholymac: Momma always used to say, if you can't sell it, you'd better sit on it.
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longdx
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
I'm actually going to place "Driven" as my #1 seed. There are several reasons: 1) Stallone is an avid open wheel race face and wanted to make a homage in the same vein as (Le mans and Grand Prix) and as the final result shows went horribly wrong.
2)There are many talented and respected actors that were just given material so below their level.
3)Although Hollywood never learns, bad effects and over acting do not save a sub par script.
4)Renny Harlin should not even direct traffic now...(whoohoo zing....I know I suck)
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scotte
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
These films would have made ideal fodder for "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" ...and they'll probably do well in the project that the MST3K founders are now doing (Cinematic Titanic), so long as these movies don't cost a fortune for them to get & riff on.
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RandRace
08/05/09

@scotte: I mentioned above that MST3k did The Last Chase during the KTMA season. Weak sauce though. For full-force MST car-movie mayhem check out Girls Town.
Nun pulls up in an old Chrysler 300 and they quip "God bless, it's got a six-pack my child."
But their best car line ever is during the opening credits of The Touch Of Satan where we follow a Maverick down the road and Crow comments "I really thought the Prince of Darkness would drive a muscle-car".
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tonyola
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
I'm surprised Speed Racer didn't make the cut. So much obvious effort in the visuals for such an annoying waste of a movie.
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CJ Disaffected
08/05/09

@tonyola: Yeah, with movies like Speed Racer and Death Race floating around I can't believe a movie as entertaining as Gone in 60 Seconds made the list!
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
I might have to withhold judgement on RPM, based exclusively on the carflesh on display in the trailer.
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MajesticTrout
08/05/09

@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: I actually own RPM. I had a Best Buy gift card with $5 left on it and I thought it couldn't be that bad.
I wasted $5.
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RandRace
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
Oh, and rather than Jordana Brewster to stare at you have Clint Howard.
Well, and Sherilyn Fenn whose eyebrows alone are hotter than Brewster. Seriously, The Wraith is a so bad it's good flick. Skank and Gutterboy? C'mon, you gotta love that!
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goatrope
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
Somewhere on these here internets is a Hollywood buff site and they are just savaging Jalopnik.com on their All-Time Worst Car Blog Postings list.
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mr_dude
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
I detect a recurring theme in this list.
Night vision driving (Redline)
Robot cars (Transformers)
Flying cars (GISS)
Artificial intelligence (Herbie)
I think Matt is none other than *removes mask scooby doo style* Wes Siler, the technophobe himself!
I better hear some *gasp*s.
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Rockford Brodie and the Masters of the Hooniverse
08/05/09

@mr_dude: "We didn't get a gasp out of that guy."
"Gasp!"
"Watch your ass."
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PlayerX
08/05/09

@Rockford_Brodie: Here, pass these DVDs out to the boys in lieu of pay....
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Rockford_Brodie promoted this comment Edited by PlayerX at 08/05/09 5:40 PM PlayerX was starred PlayerX was unstarred

My X-type is too a real Jaguar
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
You have reminded me of The Wraith, now you must pay. I sentence you to 100 days behind the wheel of a car built by British Leland.
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Al Navarro promoted this comment

TRAMS_AM
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
No way, The Wraith may be a bad movie, but as a Car Movie, it's great. FWD Daytona street racing, awesome disco-fied Corvette action, a Kamikaze Dodge M4S, 3rd gen Trans Am, and a Triumph for the ladies!
Add to that Sherilyn Fenn's perky, almost-ripe breasteses, sassy cop Randy Quaid, and the antifreeze-chugging punks and you've got yourself a winner!
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jp182
08/05/09

@TRAMS_AM: agreed! Its a personal favorite for me.
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smalleyxb122
08/05/09

@TRAMS_AM: I'm with you on The Wraith. It is one of my favorite movies. Partly because of, and partly in spite of the things that make it an awful film.
BTW, the T/A was a 2nd gen....that they inexplicably zoomed in on the non-functionality of the blower. (pulley not spinning, butterflies not opening)
Any movie with an opening chase seen scored by Ozzy is a winner.
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TRAMS_AM
08/05/09

@smalleyxb122: F-body brain fart, of course it's a 2nd gen.
And that 'Cuda, how could we forget?
Adios'd by the kid in the turbo.
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mr_dude
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
Does Wert know about 6/8? This could be the end.
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Pixel
08/05/09

In reply to The 12 Worst Car Movies Of All Time
The first Gone in 60 Seconds is a load of unwatchable crap followed by an awesome car chase.
The remake Gone in 60 Seconds is a load of unwatchable crap[1] followed by some car porn as they steal the various beautiful cars, then a cheesy car chase and some more unwatchable crap tacked on the end.
[1]Though I do love the scene where a carjacker tries to take one of the stolen cars. "You need a role model!"
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