[WastingTimeWithMikeAndAri]

With Mazda RX-7s taking the first two places at LeMons South (not to mention three of the top ten at the Arse-Freeze-A-Pa-Looza), you've got to figure you're looking at one of the all-time great budget race cars. Light, simple, and powered by a wailing rotary that's sure to give your competitors a migraine by the time the race is over... and you can get 'em for peanut shells! Say, this '85 RX-7 with an asking price of only $200. Two hundred bucks! Don't worry about that "not running" part, because the Wankel is such a simple engine- how hard can it be? You might even be able to sell off sufficient parts to come out ahead in the deal, leaving more money in your budget for beer and pornography safety equipment. Don't listen to the self-proclaimed experts who tell you that the RX-7's aluminum control arms make it too fragile to be out on a track with a bunch of big Detroit bullies, because you'll win for sure with yours!

Maybe you should listen to those experts who think the RX-7's inability to brush off impacts make it too much of a gamble at the 24 Hours of LeMons. Sure, the Mazdas finished first and second, but they got lucky! What you need is two tons of Detroit iron and a big ol' V8 to torque your way to victory. The Punisher Racing Caprice finished just four laps behind the winner, thanks to LT1 power and cop suspension... and you still have time to put together your own Caprice for the Texas race. Howzabout this '91 Caprice, with an asking price of $750? With five-buck gas looming, we're pretty sure you can negotiate the seller's price down, then sell some parts to get down below the 500 dollar limit. It runs fine (though you might want to be sure it has the LT1 and not the 305) and it only has 85,000 miles on the clock. There's some body damage, caused by a "commercial shoot driven by precision drivers" (that's reassuring, because you can't trust body damage caused by an ordinary driver on the way to the Stop-N-Rob), which is why it's so cheap. Throw some fat tires on it, maybe chop the springs, and you'll be the terror of Houston!

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A Chevy version of the Astra? The Daewoo Lacetti draped in a single bar grille (we admittedly kind of like that one)? A Vega for the new century? And who could forget Chevelle. Considering that it'll be built with dubious quality and high fuel economy, we've got to go with Chevette. Our favorite belonged to a buddy in high school, and sported a John Deere green body with non-matching blue rear hatch. Eventually a wheel fell off and it ended up in the ditch, where he paid the tow driver with the title in order to get it out of his sight. We can only hope this new product turns out so well. [Automotive News (Subscription) and Vindy]