The Omni/Horizon did its job, which was to provide a semi-homegrown econobox to help replace the captive-import Mitsubishis and keep the revenue flowing until Chrysler could start moving K cars into the showrooms and pay back that big government bailout loan. In fact, this platform continued in production until 1990.

For the 1,750-pound '81 Rabbit Diesel, Volkswagen felt that 48 horsepower was plenty; in fact, the Rabbit Diesel had a better power-to-weight ratio than the 1,724-pound/53-horsepower '69 Beetle, and diesel torque should have made it feel even quicker. That was not the case, however; I've driven both cars (in fact, I did my driver training classes in a dual-brake-pedal Rabbit Diesel), and the Beetle feels slightly zippy while the Rabbit Diesel feels dangerously slow. Perception? Reality?
Still, these things sip that costly oil through a cocktail straw, giving Rabbit Diesel owners the right to sneer at those resource-depleters in thirsty Priuses. Most of the survivors seem to be the Rabbit pickups, but I was able to find this sedan parked by the Bay, quite close to the '88 Peugeot 505 Turbo.

Toyota's marketers apparently got a little over-infatuated with the name of their most successful car during the early-to-mid 1980s, and so North Americans had a bewildering array of vehicles with Corolla nameplates. In this case, we've got a front-wheel-drive Tercel with Corolla badging, which was sold side-by-side with rear-wheel-drive E70 Corollas in the Toyota showrooms. Bigger and more expensive than the Starlet, but still cheaper and more economical than its big Corolla brother, the Corolla Tercel sold pretty well.

I found this car down on the beach, not far from the surfer '59 VW Transporter and the '73 Volvo 1800ES. Since this is the Bay and the "surf" is about 6" at its most raging, there's no danger of salt-spray corrosion.

We've got a couple of deals from the Deep South here, an Italian 3-fer and a Brazilian-German 2-fer, and they're priced like it's 1865 all over again! Saddle up the trailers, carpetbaggers!

I've been doing my best to interest wannabe 24 Hours Of LeMons teams in the idea of racing a Lancia instead of, say, an RX-7 or noch ein Scheiß-E30, but so far none of them seems to understand the sheer Italian awesomeness of Lancia iron. Why, Jeremy Clarkson himself selected a Lancia Beta to drive across Namibia. That's bad news for LeMons, but great news for you, because this '81 Lancia Zagato in Chattanooga (go here if the listing disappears) has a clapped-out-Kia-grade price tag of only 700 bucks. But wait, there's more! You see, you don't just get the Lancia with this deal; you also get a pair of Fiats, including a 124 Spider and a "sedan" of some sort. A 128? 130? Polski 125p? Don't waste time agonizing over the identity of the Mystery Fiat Sedan, because you also get a vast hoard of rusty-ass crap precious spare parts, including four engines!

You say you don't want an instant Italian junkyard on your property? Normally we'd say you need to get your priorities straight, pal, but passing up the Lancia/Fiat Bonanza means your garage still has room for this L'Automobile Ventura with bonus VW Type 3 Fastback deal (go here if the listing disappears). The price is double that of the Lancia/Fiat deal, and you only get two cars… but such cars! The Brazilian-made L'Automobile Ventura was a fiberglass-bodied sports car based on an air-cooled VW pan, but don't go mixing it up with the Puma GT; the Ventura came with a pancake Type 3 engine with crank-driven fan, so it has room for storage in the rear. As for styling, who could resist a car with lines that pay homage to the Nissan 300ZX, Jensen Interceptor, and Chrysler Laser? Exactly! But hold on there, because the Ventura isn't all you get here; the seller purchased a '72 Volkswagen Fastback as an engine donor car for the regrettably non-powered Ventura, but then didn't have the heart to sacrifice the Volks. That means the yard next to the double-wide has two too many vehicles, and they've got to go! The Fastback's engine is in good shape, except for the minor issue of non-functioning fuel injection, and it even has the super-rare (and nonworking) air-conditioning option. That's right, VW buyers in 1972 were able to drain 20 or so of the car's 65 horsepower by hitting the AC button! All tires are rotten. No mention of rust. The lack of title on the Ventura might make for some comedic moments at the DMV, but we're sure the DMV clerks will be quite understanding about your unregistered, undocumented orphan car from a country they've probably never heard of. Thanks to Nagruv5150 for the tip!

Evil Clint (of Evil Genius Racing and Black Metal V8olvo notoriety fame) finally unloaded parted with the Yugo, and rumor has it that a certain busted-for-budget-annihilating 24 Hours Of LeMons team has bought the Spider (hooray!). That means his garage was suffering from a distinct lack of sulfur fumes! We think he's solved that problem in truly dramatic fashion now, with the obtainment of these two fine machines. We can see from the "I'll fit I got gullwings" illustration that Clint made to show off his new tormenters friends that he's diving into the lava with a smile on his face.

When you see an East Coast DMC-12 that sat immobile for 15 years and has scary frame rust at the suspension mounting points… and the seller is asking $5000 for it, what do you do? If you're a Project Car Hell Poster Child, you buy it immediately! That gives Clint's 1972 Honda Z600 some company in the Lake Of Fire, and provides a nice way for Clint to self-flagellate relax when he's not working on the Black Ops LeMons Racer, which is definitely the most hellishly complicated racer in 24 Hours Of LeMons history. I'm not even going to put this one to a vote- Clint wins PCH Poster Child status!

Here's what Evil Clint has to say about the DeLorean (you can read the whole tale here):

5 speed
good:
early hood
ok interior, complete, some small tears in seat, drooping healdliner, i can do upholstery so this isnt a big deal
38K original engine and trans
newer clutch
has manuals and receipts for dmc H and Pj grady
good glass
new window motors
clean title but probably $300+ in fees

Bad:

east coast car now in the bay area
sat for 15 yrs before PO bought so it had new fuel system, no sat for 3 yrs w/ fuel
has about 3 minor dings and dents and 2 larger ones, not really noticeable but fixable.
frozen and empty A/C
rusty exhast
sticky lock mechanisms
mild rust up front on the horns car from massachussets
bad rot on the rear arm mounts, see the tow hook about to rip out ( im a professional metal fabricator so i could fix most of it in one weekend)
facias need paint, no eybrows though
needs all strut except for trunk
had hot start issue from dirty tank ( cleaned by dmc Houston) and new but leaky accumulator
no lockzilla
slop in steering
squeaky front end
some dash electrical was taken apart to find hot start issue but supposedly all there
dont know what electically works or doesnt
and probably more i done know about

Ford's marketers seemed to have a special focus on pitching the Mustang's transformative powers to the ladies. A dowdy, lab-coated scientist- no doubt cooking up new varieties of napalm to drop on Charlie Cong- becomes an irresistible man-magnet when she grabs the keys to a new '68 Mustang, while an '81 turns your average Jane into the Queen Of The Club Herpes Discothèque. We've got some good examples of this in our Top Ten Mustang Ads (plus a bonus pair of Mustang siblings to round out the selection).

You like the old-timey car ads? Oh, we got us plenty more! When you're done here, you can head over to the Top 20 Vintage Renault Ads, Top 20 Vintage GM ads, Top 20 Vintage Chevrolet Ads, Top 20 Vintage Datsun ads, Top 20 Vintage Toyota ads, and Top 20 Vintage Chrysler ads. Not enough for you? Go to the Top Car Commercials Of The 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s.

1981 Mustang	1978 Mustang II Ghia	1985 Mustang
1968 Mustang	1986 Mustang	1979 Mustang
1969 Mustang Mach 1	1968 Shelby Mustang GT	1974 Mustang II
1968 Mustang	1980 Mercury Capri	1968 Mercury Cougar

Here we see the Timmy's Kids '81 Audi 4000 getting into big trouble down Thunderhill's long straight and bashing into the concrete barrier. The driver was totally OK, thanks to his 5-point harness, helmet, and cage (as were the drivers of the Plymouth Belvedere, Yugo GV, and Chevy Cavalier that flipped during the race).


Here's the aftermath, courtesy of Mad Science's camera. Thanks to Patrick of Huey Newis And The Lose for the video!

It seemed like utter madness when Nissan decided to ditch the Datsun name they'd spent so much to build up, but that's what they did in the early 1980s. At first, they just added an inconspicuous "By Nissan" to their vehicles' emblems, and apparently they figured that, while they were at it, they'd also do a gradual transition for the model name of their big six-cylinder machine. So, for 1981, the full-luxe top-of-the-line 810 was sold in North America as the "810 Maxima."


I found this car, with its brake lights in 24/7 "on" mode, parked on the same commercial strip that gave us the 1968 Mercedes-Benz 280SL. It's rough, but it's the first non-junkyard 810 I've seen in years.


The 810 Maxima for '81 came with a smaller-displacement version of the Nissan L engine found in the 280Z. With 120 horsepower moving 2,800 pounds, the car performed reasonably well for the Late Malaise Era. The price tag? $10,379, which was more than three grand costlier than a new '81 Chrysler Cordoba (though a couple thousand cheaper than a BMW 320i).

Last time, we had a momentous upset in the Choose Your Eternity poll, with a Detroit car somehow managing to beat two French cars! Granted, no Citroëns were involved, but we're sure there's some weeping and gnashing of teeth in Paris right now. Not like France loses its PCH SuperAwesomeMegaPower rank, of course, but for now that turbocharged Falcon has brought a bit of the pride back to the reeling Motor City (and we're going to have a Detroit-on-Detroit matchup in honor of that accomplishment). Today we're returning to a level of the underworld we haven't visited since the Octo-Door '57 Chrysler took on the Stretch Ferrari 400: Hell Limousines!

Chrysler never built a Hexa-Door Dodge Dart station wagon- which we think was a terrible miscalculation- but when the Vatican demands such a machine for nunly transportation, American free enterprise leaps into action! Such is the story behind this 1962 Dodge Dart stretch wagon, and maybe it's even true! The seller states right off that it's "in poor shape," and that's definitely the truth, but who cares? In addition to his distressing honesty, he seller also violates all the eBay traditions concerning grammar, spelling, and capitalization, but we'll overlook that because this thing is a Hexa-Door Dart Wagon Alleged Nunmobile! How could you pass it up? There's rust. It's been sitting since 1979, most of that time outdoors in rural Kentucky. The engine is a poly 318, which is sort of like the LA block 318, only way heavier. The good news is that you'll be able to find every possible mechanical component without half trying, for cheap, and along the way you'll discover that you might as well upgrade to a 500-horsepower 360. You might not want to invest too much time and money into the running gear, however, until you've vanquished the Rust Monster, and that might take decades some time, plus a few million Hail Marys. Thanks to ArmyOfChuckness for the tip!

A Pope-approved 6-door Dart wagon limo from Butcher Holler would be quite a daily driver, sure, but what if you must kick up the mud whilst blasting beer cans out the window with a shotgun? For that, you want a genuine, built-by-crazy-Minnesotans 4x4 Monster Cadillac Limo. Now, at this point you might be saying to yourself (in your best Upper Midwest accent) "OK, but where could I find such a car, then?" Hey, this is Project Car Hell, where eternal torment is conveniently located, and we've managed to find this 1981 Cadillac stretch limo mud truck (go here if the ad disappears), built on a Suburban chassis. You get your 36" swampers, you betcha, and your hoon-proof 350 engine, and it even runs and drives! The seller admits that it "Needs TLC," which you're free to interpret as you choose (we choose to believe it means you'll be ready to take on the gnarliest swamps of the Amazon Delta with little more than a tuneup). The seller wants $3,000, but if there ever was a price that screamed "negotiable," this is it!

I could have sworn that I'd already posted on this car, but I must be mixing it up in my memory with the $20,000 Pinto Squire. That was a full-on rock-smokin' price, but this Chevy is priced far more reasonably: $8,995. Sure, knocking the five bucks off the price to put it under nine grand makes it appear to be on sale at Nickel Nick's Gently Used Brougham Coaches, but the seller was able to take his or her eyes off the 16,700-mile odometer reading long enough to take note of the Chevette emblems on the outside. Just about all the other Chevettes were crushed 15 years ago, and the few that remain are sunk to their axles in trash-strewn lots- this is likely your only chance to own a show-quality Chevette! But is $8,995 a good price? You tell us!

[Hemmings Motor News], thanks to many, many of you for the tip!

Thanks to Gottsmack for the tip! [Freerevs.com]

Thanks once again to that Porcubimmer-drivin' LTDScott for another great tip![Showdown Muscle Cars].

I saw this a week or two back at a Worcester MA car dealership and thought it might be right up your alley.

It is an near-perfect all-original (less CD player) 1981 Cadillac Cimarron with 10,500(!) original miles. It may be most perfectly preserved example of the worst Cadillac ever. They were asking $8,995 for it.

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You know you're looking at a car deal that should make you run away in terror make a bombshell offer right away when the seller takes the time to pound out a lengthy stream-of-consciousness tirade about the car's problems, then doesn't bother to rotate the photos 90° prior to uploading them. And when you're searching high and low for a nimble mid-engined handlin' machine to disintegrate on totally own the racetrack, you can forget all about the boring MR2 or the way-too-reliable Fiero. Yes, forget 'em! What you need is something Italian, like this 1981 Fiat X1/9 (go here if the ad disappears). Asking price is $600, but the seller has an air of desperation and junkyards only offer $200 for a small car's scrap value, so there's a good chance you'll be able to turn a profit by selling off excess parts… leaving you money to rig up the world's most redneck junkyard-turbocharged Fiat, which should boost engine power from the factory 75 horses up to a block-ventilating track-dominating 150! The engine and transmission allegedly work, and the seller claims there's "plenty of rust but the chasssity of the car is solid!!!" It runs, the chasssity is solid, and the price is right- we can't see a single flaw in this plan!

The X1/9 is a fine LeMons choice, no arguments there, but you can kiss that Index Of Effluency trophy goodbye if some team out-huevos yours by keeping a British car alive for at least half the race, particularly if they manage the feat in a tiny 70s British Leyland sports car. We like the Triumph GT6, the TR7 should come equipped with built-in yellow flags, and you often see Sprites available for dirt cheap… but imagine the glory of getting towed off the track every five laps roaring past the competition in this 1972 MGB-GT (go here if the ad disappears)! You got your Lucas Electrics, your lever-action shocks, your finicky SU carbs, your 50s-vintage pushrod four, and- best of all- that legendary British Leyland build quality, all in one gorgeous Pininfarina package! This one is 600 bucks, but the devoted eBay seller should be able to get back quite a bit of that. You get a "trunk full of parts" and the seller claims the car "has not been started in several years," which might imply that it's capable of starting again. Maybe you'll have enough money left in the budget to put some big swaybars on it, thus avoiding unsightly asphalt marks on the door handles!

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You don't see too many Lamborghini Jaramas around, and for good reason: only 327 were built. Yes, 327... so it stands to reason that you could never hope to own one. You can give that pessimism a big negatory, good buddy, because BZR has found this 1974 Lamborghini Jarama 400GT for us. It's been stored since 1986, so that means it's really only 13 years old! Skeptics might ask why it was stored for so long. It seems that there's some crankshaft damage; the seller states only "All parts with the vehicle. Engine rebuild required! Crank scored!" Probable translation: every engine component, down to the smallest fastener, will need rebuilding and/or replacement. You could always drop in a good ol' Chevy engine, but you might as well build a Fieroborghini as do that!

When you think "cheap Maserati," you're probably assuming the next thing you'll see will be the Maserati Biturbo, or maybe the Chrysler TC, and you'll groan "that's not a real Maserati!" Not this time, you pack of Gloomy Giuseppes, because A_Benz_Apart has found us a 1981 Maserati Quattroporte with the Geo Metro-like price tag of just 1,500 bucks! Unlike the Metro, however, this car isn't known for its gas mileage (the mean ol' EPA claimed 8 MPG), but that won't be an issue until you manage to get it to run... which might take some effort. The seller, a master of Hell Project understatement, says only "Sitting for 6 years. Was running. Needs work." What else is there to say? It was running! That means it should be possible for it to run again, right? How hard can it be?

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We're going to make the assumption that you'll be obtaining your electrons courtesy of sources other than petroleum products here, because otherwise the mean ol' oil companies will still have you by the short hairs. Nukes, solar cells, dams, whatever- they'll all work when it comes to topping off the cells in your Electric 1980 AMC Hornet wagon, which is still available for less than four grand at the time of this writing. Guess how many miles it has on the clock. No, really- take a guess. Fifty-one original miles! Yes, here we have what the seller says was "a joint venture between Solorgen and AMC to produce electric automobiles," so it's a low-mileage prototype Malaise Electric AMC. It probably hasn't run since Jimmy Carter was president- that is, if it has ever run- there are no batteries, and you can be assured that the brakes and wiring will need endless some attention before it can be driven. On the plus side, the interior is in great original shape, apart from some sun damage. We're a little puzzled by what appears to be an alternator attached to the electric motor in the photos- isn't there a more efficient way to get 12 volts for accessories when you have a car full of freakin' batteries?

A super-original Electric Hornet would be pretty cool, but what if you want to make an insane electric drag racer and show Plasma Boy a thing or two, maybe humiliate some Tesla owners? You'll need a car with a plethora of hot-rod suspension and rear-end parts available, and you'd be hard-pressed to find anything that can match the Ford Fox platform on that score. Naturally, you'll want a wagon, so check out this super-cheap 1981 Electric Ford Fairmont wagon, which was converted to electric power by none other than NASA! Well, actually its history is a bit murky, with the seller's statement "need batteries and my Dad never received the title had it shipped from California was going to order the title and get batteries but then hospital killed my Dad we need the money with Bush the oilman, 2X cheater and Chaney the crook in office" not doing much to clarify things; there is no title, there are no batteries, and nobody knows the specs on the motor. That won't matter much for you prospective electric wagon racers, because you'll need to upgrade to a powerplant waaaay bigger than what's installed now.

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