And we're not talking about some lame-o golf cart or even a Tesla- this is a highway-legal, 3.5 horsepower Citicar, one of the lone bright spots of the Malaise Era. Most of the time, I can't find the owner when I'm shooting a cool street-parked Alameda car, but I spotted this car just as its owner, Tom, was getting ready to run some errands around town. He was happy to show off his commuter's features, and even took me for a little drive around Alameda's downtown. Alameda High was just getting out for the day, and this Citicar got more attention from teenage girls than all the Lamborghinis in the world put together- take note, high school dudes looking for a project car that will help you score with the ladeeze! You can learn more about this car here.

The car has pretty decent acceleration and is surprisingly comfortable (at least, when the weather is nice). While the top speed is only about 36 MPH, that's just about perfect for getting around Alameda; most of the island has a 25 MPH speed limit, and parking is often tough for big cars.

Believe it or not, the Pinto was once as common on American streets as, say, the Sentra is today. The rep for exploding in rear-end collisions was relatively undeserved (plenty of Detroit cars with the gas tank mounted between the rear axle and the bumper had explosion problems), but Ford didn't win itself many friends with those memos showing that Dearborn's bean counters preferred to pay wrongful-death settlements than redesign the car.
The last Pinto was sold in 1980, and by 1990 you hardly saw them in junkyards; only the wretched first-gen Hyundai Excel passed through the junkyard phase of its lifecycle more quickly. That's why it's a memorable occasion when I find a Pinto in the junkyard these days; someone kept this thing running- or at least stored- for decades after most of them had long since been rendered into cubes of China-bound scrap steel.

The one that caught my eye first was the very clean, automatic-equipped 1976 BMW 2002. The odometer reads just over 4,000 miles, which means it's either a very well-maintained 104,000-mile car or a 4,000-mile car that spent several decades moldering in a driveway somewhere. When I mentioned this car to 24 Hours Of LeMons Assistant Perpetrator Nick Pon, he had to rush right over to the yard to pull some pieces for his '76 2002.

Right next to the 2002 sits a fairly complete 1970 Triumph Spitfire. The engine and front suspension look pretty nice; a Spitfire Hell Project owner could definitely feast on this junkyard find!

That's not enough? Hey, there's something for you lovers of vintage Japanese machinery as well: a California-built 1988 Toyota Corolla GT-S. It's an automatic car, and the underhood sticker identifies the engine as a 4A-LC… but that sure looks like a 16-valve 4A to me.

Now let's see what the Server Hamsters do when I present them with these photos in our new gallery style. Fasten your seatbelts!

TheEastBayKid spotted this fine machine not far from 24 Hours Of LeMons Headquarters, in the former bootlegging capitol of Northern California, Emeryville. As befits an Oakland native, TheEastBayKid describes this Kenosha wagon as having "hella bass." We certainly hope so!

That's how Alan Galbraith sees it, so he's put together perhaps the coolest Pacer we've ever seen. No, AMC never made a Hurst Edition Pacer, but so what? It just looks right! As Alan says: "It's really not a bad car. Oh sure, it's rusting at the seams right now outside my house in the rain, the 30+ year old emissions system is going fail me at smog check one of these years, the brittle and non-replaceable plastic interior is one bump away from completely crumbling to dust... But it drives, rides and handles pretty well. Personally the design is growing on me... like a fungus I guess."

It appears that goingincirclez has discovered The Most Malaise Motor Vehicle Ever Built. It started life as a 1976 Cadillac Coupe DeVille, and then the legendary Moloney Coachbuilders took over and made it… the God Of Malaise. I'm speechless, so we'll let goingincirclez take over:

This car (along with 5 other Malaise Cadillacs and 4 Malaise Stingray Vettes) is parked for sale at a small-time dealer lot near my home in Frankfort, KY.

Now we all know how bad the 70's were in terms of fad lux; malaise era performance was an oxymoron, so metal gussied up with the Leisure Suits DuJour was many a nameplates raison d'ete. I mean, you had Granadas of all things amping Faux Lux to an art, but even cars like the Lincoln Mark IV weren't any more genuine in materials (I know because I owned a Granada and currently own a 75 Mark). But this Gilded Gauntlet of Gauche is certainly new in my lifetime... and it was OEM-built this way! Can you tell what it is... and what it was trying to be... before the 5th picture?

"Enjoy", because I think this car has nearly every bad 70's lux cliche - taken to wretched excess. Let's tally:

- Vinyl roof? Check. Heck, it'll see your wimpy new-money Landau roof, and raise you a partly-vinyl DOOR!
- Landau bar, regardless? Check. In case there was any doubt.
- Opera windows? Stand back because this baby has not one, but TWO... straight off a Ford Elite!
- Chrome? The Santa Fe Super Chief would bow in inadequecy.
- Redonculous androgyonous hood ornament? Somewhere, a Deusenberg weeps.
- Faux spare tire Hump? A Mark IV also cries...
- ... because it can only WISH it had a VINYL hump.
- On the other hand, at least the Mark IV did the "Rolls Grille" a proper, understated l'homage. I mean just look at that freaking grille surround. How many wrecks did this car cause from reflecting sunlight into the eyes of unsuspecting, Pinto-driving plebians?
- But we can all thank our heavens that the tint is impenetrable, or who knows what terrors that contrasting RED LEATHER INTERIOR would spring. Speaking or red leather interiors, were the matching painted brake calipers free?

- Really, the only Faux Lux Cliche this thing lacks is Coach Lamps. But wouldn't you trade those for vinyl doors, twindoperas, streamliner chrome AND a landau bar for the win?

According to the seller (a Cadillac collector who owns several others besides those currently for sale) - Monroney Coachbuilders apparently sold and built 274 (oy vey!) of these in 1976. From what little I can find online, Monroney began in the late 60's by building stretch Lincolns to order in the Chicago area, and tried to win more contracts direct from Ford around that time. But they somehow fell out of favor with Ford, and so began using GM chassis instead. But apparently they were used to Lincoln styling cues...

Oh, and a couple weeks ago I thought it had been sold! Was moved to a different part of the lot earlier in the day; on my way home in traffic, I saw it at the McDonald's drive-thru! Yeah, I know if I bought an uber-pimpmobile the first place I'd take it would be for some QPC attitude. But the next day, it was back on the lot. Still, what an official dealership food-getter eh?
Hope you enjoyed that. I don't have a commenter name yet but if it did it would be "goingincirclez". I have a new site/pseudo-blog at that name.

BTW a coworker and I are planning an entry for the 24 Hours of LeMons... we currently have access to a 94 T-Bird and a 91 Cougar - possibly even both for $500. We're planning on Carolina for next year... possibly Ohio or sooner if all the planets align!

That means that we need truly hellish contestants in Project Car Hell now, the concentrated essence of Garage Nightmare. Thanks to our ever-vigilant readers, I think that's what we're getting today. What kind of jerk wouldn't want a Lotus or a Porsche 911, especially when either project can be had for next to nothing? Exactly.
Even those who can't stand 911 owners will usually admit- reluctantly- that the car earned its iconic status for some pretty good reasons. Most of us would have a damn good time with an early 911 to hoon around, but those damn Porsche fanatics have pushed the prices well beyond reason. Sometimes, though, someone wimps out up on a totally easy project 911 and puts it up for sale at the kind of price you might pay for a 15-year-old Corolla. Such is the case with this 1972 911 Targa, which sports an asking price of just $2,500. What's the catch, you ask? No catch! All you need to do is provide your own engine, transaxle, glass, fenders, bumpers, wheels, and probably a thousand few other bits and you'll have a fine daily driver you can take to the track on weekends. As PCH tipsterMurph says: "Everybody wants a long nose, prices are through the roof, even in today's market. Take this puppy to California, clean it up a little ( a sawzall will help), pick up some of those pesky mechanical parts and join the vaulted ranks of the R Gruppe!"
That project would be a one-way ticket to Crazy Town lots of fun, granted, but how could you take on a German Hell Project and still hold your head high while other masochists ambitious restorers wake up each morning knowing they've got De Tomaso Longchamp and Simca Chambord hair shirts projects to tackle? That's right, you'd better get yourself a vehicle from one of the three Project Car Hell Überpowers: France, Italy, or Britain! With that in mind, you're sure to appreciate the prospect of not one but two Malaise Era Lotus projects, available in a staggeringly frightening appealing 2-fer-1 deal for the same price as the 911! Yessiree, this combo deal of 1976 and 1980 Lotus Eclats will enable you to look those Longchamp owners right in the eye and dare them to match your taste for self-inflicted pain ambition! The '76 has just 12,000 miles on it, so how bad could it be? Thanks to Dale for the tip!

Our last DOTS 2002 was also a '76, and now we're on the seventh in the series (after this '72, this '72, this '73, this '75, and this '75). That's two pre-Malaise examples, one small-bumper Early Malaise car, and four Monster Bumper Malaise-M-Ws.


Let's take a look at one of those monster bumpers. Granted, it's hard to imagine many cars that were uglified by such bumpers as badly as the 2002 (though the Spitfire managed to accomplish the feat), but the 5 MPH bumpers were way better at brushing off minor impacts than today's body-colored hardware. Was it worth it? More to the point, was 98 horsepower in a 2,383-pound car enough to deserve the Hofmeister Kink?

Wimbles knows how to work a camera, took the time to ID all the vehicles he shot, and even cropped/resized them to the gallery-friendly 1280-pixel width we like best. This is the very best way to send in DOTSBE photos. I'll let Wimbles describe what he's found:

I'm relatively new to Jalopnik but I've always been interested in your Down on the Street series. I'm a college student going to school in San Francisco and I see a lot of cool old cars parked on the streets when I'm in town. Lately I've been photographing more and more of them in DOTS style and I figured I'd give it a shot trying to submit some for DOTSBE.

For starters, here's a 1973 Ford Torino sedan. This is probably the first one I've ever actually noticed on the street and caught my eye because I'm used to seeing the arguably better-looking Gran Torinos. Fancy seeing a plain blue, beat-up standard '73 Torino in a place as progressive as San Francisco! It was seen parked on Telegraph Hill.

I'm not sure about the year of the Dodge A-100 Tradesman, but it looks to be approximately a 1968 model judging by the style of badging and the reflectors on the doors. I could be wrong. Until I saw this one, I wasn't aware that the Tradesman name was used prior to the B-Series vans of the '70s. It appears to be in generally good condition for its age, though it has some worrisome rust on the passenger side doors. It was seen parked on Telegraph Hill near COIT Tower.
This van has been seen on DOTSBE before, but it was part of a series of street parking profile shots by Martin Taylor.

Continuing the Mopar series is a 1965 Plymouth Barracuda. I see this car parked and driving every so often and have had two opportunities to photograph it (evident from the markedly different weather in the various pictures). It is equipped with the 273CI Commando V8. It was photographed in the Financial District. Interestingly enough, I have seen another Barracuda (brown, '67-69) parked on this same street in the past and have gotten a couple of snapshots of it, but nothing DOTS-worthy.

Next up for this run is a 1979 Plymouth Sapporo which lives just north of Alamo Square. I have seen this car driving once. I actually stumbled upon its home by sheer coincidence while returning from a long walk to the Panhandle in a fruitless attempt to grab some DOTS photos of the Porsche 356 and Volkswagen Transporter Syncro 4WD extended cab utility body pickup I had briefly snapped on a previous date.

Lastly, we have a very interesting find. A 2002-05 JDM Daihatsu Move Custom, probably fresh off the boat in America as it has no plates. But they wasted no time in decking this little kei car out inside with everything kawai they could find. It has a sticker on the rear hatch from Uemuru Motor, which is apparently an auto wholesaler in Callao, Peru.

In these troubled times, you shouldn't be spending all your MRE and ammo money on your Hell Project (although we recommend that strategy, since life isn't worth living when you're cutting corners on the important things). Maybe you thought there was no way you could afford a real Ferrari- not when even Fierraris sell for 30 grand- but don't forget the 308 GT4. Pay no mind to those tedious purists who bleat that this fine Bertone-bodied machine was badged as a Dino; by 1976, the Ferrari emblem was proudly displayed on the 308 GT4… and we've found this '76 (go here if the ad disappears) for just $12,000. In the seller's own words: "It's a Ferrari for the price of a Hyundai people! Just show up, take advantage of me, and drive away with a big smile as you enjoy your new Ferrari." For that price, you have to count on fixing several hundred a few things; first off, there's the trashed paint. Then you'll have the pleasure of playing with the fuel-delivery system ("runs well enough but it runs terribly rich"), but all the Weber guys will tell you that's no sweat. Of course, there might be some ignition woes adding to the fun, but getting a Ferrari running right shouldn't be any harder than tuning a '73 Valiant, right? Right! Thanks to Zeet for the tip.

We love Ferraris, but a mid-70s Dino condemns you to a life of golden razor blade medallions tangled in your Burt Reynolds-esque chest hair- perhaps not in reality, but that's how the world will see you (even if you're a woman). There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but the real edgy rebellious Project Car Hell inmates prefer the products of the Rootes Group. With a heritage including such fine machines as the Dresden-obliteratin' Handley Page Halifax and Plymouth Cricket, the Rootes Group manufactured more than its share of terrifying rewarding Potential Hell Projects. And hey, didja know that Rootes had Italian coachbuilder Touring design and build a superleggara version of the Humber Sceptre? No, really! And it's your lucky day, because here's a 1965 Sunbeam Venezia for sale; the $14,500 starting bid didn't get any bites, so we're pretty sure the seller will listen to your Benjamins when you come calling with a totally reasonable offer. You get a Humber 88-horse engine, a 4-speed, and a $10K "mechanical restoration" when you purchase this fine project car, and that means your eternity begins with all you need to do is cosmetic stuff. Bodywork, paint, interior… how hard could it be? The seller claims there is "generous club support for these cars," and that the missing mouldings and emblems will be totally obtainable. Thanks to Flyboy333 for the tip!

However, it's our patriotic duty to ensure that the US of A gets the occasional shot at the PCH Trophy (which is now in the shop for magnafluxing and should be back any month now). It's still possible to find a true Detroit Hell Project- you just need to find one that's been mangled modified to the point of hopelessness super-coolness, or maybe something from a long-defunct non-Big-Three automaker. We've got both for you today!



Sometimes you have to factor in the Enraged Neighbor Index (ENI) when you're calculating the hellishness of a project. The ENI should be considered a multiplier; for example, if you've got a single project car- say, a decrepit Triumph GT6 with a family of skunks living in the engine compartment- sitting on blocks on your driveway, you can figure on an ENI of 2.5- that is, 2.5 times the hell you'd have with the same car leaking invisibly in your garage, what with all that whining about destroyed neighborhood property values, chasing busybodies off with a shotgun, etc. However, the calculations get really interesting when you suddenly acquire a junkyard on your property- say, these four 1949 and 1950 Packards. According to our calculations, lining up four basket-case Packards anywhere in view of your neighbors results in a staggering ENI figure of 4,522! Yes, your life will become what your lawyers like to call "a series of terrible misunderstandings" once you start this project, but so what? Every one of these cars ran when parked, and every one has a straight eight engine! Some of the glass is still there, ditto the trim, and the seller says that red stuff is just surface rust- why, you could have all four of these classic machines back on the road in your dreams no time! And, say, maybe the worst one could be turned into a slam-dunk 24 Hours Of LeMons People's Choice winner! Thanks to Whoa Befalls Electra for the tip!



If you're talking Detroit cars, you'd better be talking Detroit muscle! But the endless lines of 60s GM A bodies, Mustangs, and Chrysler B bodies at the car shows are strictly from snoresville, just like classic rock. You want to be able to knock off a guhnarly-ass burnout in the convenience-store parking lot, then blow away some Integras, then go to jail for Exhibition Of Speed use the same car as a commuter machine, right? Hell yeah! That's why you need this 4.3 Vortech-powered 1976 Chevy Chevette (go here if the ad disappears), which is priced at just $1,000. Why, you can't even get a medium-quick 3rd-gen Camaro for that kind of money! This project isn't quite what you'd call finished, but it's not very pretty close; the engine is mounted, but it's not running yet ("Ignition needs wired in , Needs fuel deliverysystem completed, Exhaust and a Battery"). It's got the stock Chevette rear end (which was designed to withstand 52 horsepower), but the seller seems pretty sure that the 200+ horses of that V6 should be no problem for it. Get it working and it will be extremely lethal quick! Thanks to Jim Bob for the tip!

This car belongs to 24 Hours Of LeMons Assistant Perpetrator and Ecurie Ecrappe member Nick Pon, better known around these parts as TheEastBayKid. He's an Oakland guy, but he had some business to attend to in nearby Alameda and I took advantage of the opportunity to shoot his daily-driver/vintage-rallyer 2002 while it was parked here.


It's a good solid car, but BMW restoration fanatics would likely find much to frown about here. The engine is dead stock, except for the air cleaner (1976 model year cars are subject to California's super-strict emissions-equipment laws), but the suspension has some upgrades that wouldn't please the numbers-matching crowd. This is our sixth Alameda DOTS 2002 (after this pretty nice '72, this total beater '72, this '73 2002tii, this automatic-equipped '75, and this work-in-progress '75), and I've got a few more photographed and ready to go. The 2002 is actually one of the most commonplace old cars on Alameda's streets, though not as easy to find as Beetles, Mustangs, or Darts/Valiants.

Ben Hsu over at Japanese Nostalgic Car found this 1,427-mile 1976 Mazda RX-4 for sale, and he was able to control his bouts of drooling and heart palpitations just long enough to send us the tip. According to the seller, the car ended up in storage as a result of a dealer-versus-buyer dispute 30 years ago, and the buyer's recent death puts it back on the market. Check out the velour! The science-fiction steering wheel! "Japanese air" in the tires! We totally want it, of course, but $18,500? What do you think?
[Japanese Nostalgic Car]

With UDMan's '63 Corvair raising the Index Of Effluency stakes for next year's New England 24 Hours Of LeMons, anyone who shows up with the same ol' snoozeworthy RX-7 or Camaro will be the object of well-deserved ridicule by his or her peers. You need to limp roar onto the track in a car manufactured by one of the Big Three PCH Superpowers, and we've managed to find one that already has a roll cage! In fact, this '68 Austin Healey Sprite is a proven racing champion, having taken the SCCA Grand National Solo II Class DP trophy in 1978! Since that time, well, there's been near-total a certain amount of deterioration, but who the heck cares about non-structural rust damage in a race car? Of course, there is certainly might be some structural damage as well, but you'll get to fixing that… right after you figure out how to get a new engine installed with the $1 in budget flexibility you'll have after spending $499 on this car. There must be something you can sell off this hulk racer; if nothing else, you can sell off the transmission and use the $75 to buy a basket-case donor car with some sort of functioning engine/trans combo. Thanks to Evil Genius for the tip!

Since the rollcage doesn't count against the $500 LeMons price ceiling, why pay for a car that already has one? Instead, go for a mid-engined Italian machine, and we don't mean some cheapo Fiat X1/9 here. You can kick it up a notch and send your opponents staggering back with a mixture of pity fear and confusion dread when you drag drive this 1976 Lancia Scorpion off the trailer before the race. It's got some accident damage, but so what? You're not racing to look pretty, you're racing to spend an entire weekend turning wrenches and cursing in Italian win! Does it run? Is the Pope Italian? Hey, that Fiat Twin Cam engine is just months minutes away from firing up, you'll see!

When the 2009 Corvette ZR1 recorded a world-beating lap time of the Nurburgring, it sure made us proud to be Americans. But, let us not forget the monster 'Vettes that went before it, like this 700+ HP Le Mans racer from 1976 that was good for over 216 MPH down the old Mulsanne straight.
[greenwoodcorvettes]

See the rest of our Jalopnik Auto Flag-Elation here and check out our pre-Fourth Jalopnik Automotive Amerigasm here.

Not sure if a student could afford 24s, but how many teachers would slap sparkly "24" emblems on the pillars? The '69 Continental that parks just down the block could well be a student car, though it's summer vacation now and the Lincoln is still there.


As we know, most Jalopniks prefer a dekotora to a donk, but there's no need to get all riled up over a '76 Regal 4-door with 24s if you don't groove on the donk thing; wheels can be replaced.


In '76, the Regal came standard with a 140-horse 350 engine. Since 1976 cars are not smog-exempt in California (1975 and earlier cars are exempt from emissions tests), that's most likely the engine that's hauling this car's vast bulk these days (though a 455 could probably be swapped in, as long as it looks like a 350 to the smog techs and passes the tailpipe gas test).

When a car ad leads off with the statement "This is another car that I have exhumed from my graveyard," you know you're in for a real treat. Better install some good air-conditioning in your garage, because it'll get mighty hot in there once you drag this '76 Lancia Scorpion inside! You Yurpeans might know this car as the Montecarlo, but don't let the similarity fool you- the US version had 81 horsepower instead of 120, because Yurp decided it would be better to allow asthmatic children to die horrible hydrocarbon-enhanced deaths than to strangle car engines with emission control hardware during the Malaise Era. Naturally, that means you'll need to do something about the 1756cc engine currently in this car, but it's probably a boat anchor by now, anyway, as the car "has been sitting out in the weeds and weather for many years" and probably wasn't running when placed in its weedy home. We suggest installing a supercharged Toyota 4A-GZE out of an MR2, which should be a no-sweat swap... right? You know it! The seller claims it's a parts car, but we know you'll be able to bring it back to life in a couple of weekends.

So the Toledo 24 Hours of LeMons race is coming up and you still don't have a car? How about a Merkur XR4Ti, such as the one the confusingly-named Team Flying Hyundai drove in the Altamont race? Come on now, you might whine, nobody really sells an XR4Ti that cheap! Au contraire, my skeptical Midwestern wannabe-racer friend! Just take a look at this '89 Merkur XR4Ti, which has a price tag of just 600 bucks and actually runs! Well, to be honest, the statement "Runs and drives, but needs work" generally means "it makes noise when you turn the key," but that's better than a car that doesn't do anything. It's priced $100 over the 24 Hours of LeMons limit, but we suspect the price is negotiable (besides, if I can sell $280 worth of parts from a $100 Volvo, you should be able to squeeze a measly C-note out of a Merkur). Many, many problems bedevil the electrical accessories, but all you'll need to do is tear out everything a race car won't need and then pray that you can still get the engine computer to work. Thanks to SundaySunday for the tip!

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