The extremely cheap, extremely sketchy (putatively) NSX-engine-powered Acura Legend obliterated the dime-a-dozen turbo Civic in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll, which is about what we expected. So what if we could find not just an NSX engine but an entire car for cheap (well, maybe entire isn't the right word here, but you get the idea)- what then? Well, then we have quite a dilemma when trying to find something to stack up against the Acura, a car that's equally cool, in spittin' distance of the NSX's price range, and hideously expensive when it comes to part obtainment. Perhaps it's an impossible task, but let's see how things sort out in today's Detroit-versus-Japan matchup!

You want an NSX, and so do I. It's safe to say that you wouldn't be reading this series in the first place if you were the sort who doesn't want an NSX (unless your brand of garage masochism requires engines with carburetors... lots and lots of carburetors, in which case you most likely still think the NSX is a good idea, even if you wouldn't drive an EFI car yourself). But damn! they're expensive critters, and nobody seems to want to sell theirs. However, we looked and looked and finally found an NSX for just $10,000! No, really! Take a gander at this '92 Acura NSX and then try to offer us the usual lame excuses about how you can't afford your own Japanese supercar. This car is available at "a fraction of the price," though the price isn't defined, because it needs a little work. Actually, all it really needs is some TLC- like so many Hell Projects- in order to repair the damage from what looks like a half-completed ripoff-and-chopshop adventure. The engine appears to be there, and no doubt more than 50% of the rest of the vehicle's parts are present as well. How hard can it be to find a pair of NSX doors? You'll find out!

Say you admire the engineering of the NSX, but you're more of a fan of classic Detroit machinery. In that case, what you need is an early Corvette... but- holy Barrett-Jackson!- the price of nice 50s Vettes is utter madness! That's why you want to try to find a project car and turn oceans of sweat and rivers of tears into a top-notch concours-qualiity restoration, one that will convince even the most sphincterish Corvette obsesso that you don't deserve to be ground into hamburger for defiling such a sacred machine. You'll have your work cut out for you with this 1959 Chevrolet Corvette, because it's actually a '59 frame with a "thick fiberglass" replica '57 body and a 283 out of a '66 Chevy (no mention of the transmission, which means it's probably a Powerglide). But, hey, the car is only $9,100! Hmm... maybe that idea of a restoration isn't really feasible here, but ya never know, ya know? Just put the correct stuff on the engine, find the right 4-speed, and dive into Itchy Fiberglass Land, and you'll be out cruising your '57/'59 in no time!

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Much of the old Detroit iron in the eastern half of the continent has oxidized into nothingness by now, but that doesn't mean it's all gone. Virginia-based Jagvar has been kind enough to shoot some quality photos of a very clean '54 Chrysler that parks in his neighborhood. The Windsor was the least expensive Chrysler for '54, and it came with a 265-cubic-inch flathead six engine. Make the jump to read Jagvar's description.

I live in Arlington, Virginia, where I've spotted a green 1954 Chrysler Windsor parked on the street several times. I've been waiting for weeks for a clear, sunny Saturday, and today I was finally able to make it over to snap some pictures.
The car appears to be a daily driver. It's usually parked within a few spaces of the same house, and it's out on the street, rain or shine. As I said, it's a '54, it has a flat-head six, and that's about all that I know about it.

What with all the racin' madness lately, I haven't had a chance to descend into the lake of burning 90-weight that is Project Car Hell for a few days. In our last matchup, we almost had an upset for the ages, with a Japanese car nearly beating a French car in the Dangel Peugeot Wagon versus V8 Fairlady poll. And that Peugeot was a tough one, too! You fans of Japanese Car Hell can feel proud... or ashamed, depending on how you look at it. Today we're getting away from the PCH Superpowers and mixing it up a bit, with a perennial German Choose Your Eternity favorite going up against a proud Detroit native.

We had a 928 here just a couple weeks ago, but the cool/hell equation is just irresistible with Porsche's front-engine V8 machine. It's fast, good-looking, sold for vast sums when new, and has a scary-sleazeball Tony Montana aura you just can't deny... and you can find them dirt cheap nowadays. Well, dirt cheap provided you're willing to fix everything a few things. How about a genuine Porsche 928 for just 600 bucks? Come check out this '82 in Connecticut, which is priced down in 24 Hours of LeMons territory. Come on, you know you can sell off more than a hundred bucks worth of stuff from this car, and you've got 3 months to go before the New England race! Or perhaps you want to make it a daily driver and sell cocaine commute to work with it. Either way, you'll need to do something about the transmission, because the seller describes it as "dodgy." We're assuming that means "inert hunk of leaky metal," but maybe it still sort of works! The color is "obviously black," which should count for something, and the engine starts. It also "smokes and is missing," which hand-wringers might interpret as cause for concern... but not you! You'll have that thing purring in no time- it's probably just the spark plugs, right?

Yeah, can't argue with the coolness of the 928, but how about if you're looking for something with a little more presence? You want a big classic Detroit luxomobile, but you'd rather take the bus than drive yet another Cadillac? We hear you brother (or sister), and we've got the solution: This 1958 Lincoln Continental, which could darken your garage for a mere grand. Now, you could probably sell off $500 worth of parts from this vessel and qualify for LeMons on the money front, but (fortunately for the other racers) this thing tips the scales well beyond the 4,000 pound shipping-weight limit called for in the rules. That's OK, because a car like this should be glamorous, with a gleaming paint job (or ominous black primer, which is also glamorous in our book) and spiffy snakeskin interior. Before you can get to the body, paint, and interior work (of which there'll be plenty), however, you'll need to deal with the running gear. The engine and transmission are out of the car, and that's usually not an indicator that they'll be in perfect working order. You get "all parts plus lots of extra parts and lots of extra chrome," which is a good thing as it's no picnic finding body and trim parts for late-50s Lincolns. At least the engine is the good ol' MEL 430, which is just common enough to make you think you should have no problem finding parts for it. Thanks to Brian B for the tip; Brian has sent in three separate tips and now gets a shirt plus an extra half credit towards...uh... additional PCH Tipster glory!

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Apparently unsatisfied with the rarity of his Honda Coupe 9, Junkman also keeps a pair of Porsche 597 Jagdwagens. With only 71 made, Porsche's off-road military machine is a rare site indeed. Make the jump for Junkman's description.

Some pics (maybe in a couple emails) of our Porsche 597 Jagdwagens. As you probably know, a grand total of 71 were made between 1955 and 1958. All were handbuilt in the race shop right next to the 550 Spyders (I've got picstures) as prototypes, so no two were exactly alike. They were originally developed as a proposal for a light utility, Jeep-type vehicle for the German Army when it was reorganized ten years after WW II. Unfortunately, the DKW Munga was chosen instead of the 597. Some people say it was politics but it was probably economics. The Munga was a very basic, throw-away vehicle with a simple three cylinder, two-stroke engine. The 597 was typical of all Porsches; technologically advanced for its time (five forward gears, amphibious, the ability to climb a 65 degree grade, shift-on-the-fly 4wd, etc.) and, as a result, much more expensive.

When they didn't get the German Army contract, Porsche tried to market the vehicle to NATO countries. Finally, as a last ditch effort, it was marketed to consumers as a personal hunting vehicle for sportsmen. Hence the name "Jagdwagen" which roughly translates to "hunting car". OK, so it wasn't one of their greatest marketing successes but the people who griped about Porsche building the Cayenne when it came out sure didn't know the corporate history very well.

The green project 597 you see is the oldest existing model and was the one used for promotional brochures and press testing. We have all of the original parts. The restored green 597 is representative of what the majority looked like when new. Notice the Spyder seats and the 24v dynamo. It is also a matching numbers vehicle. The Speed Yellow Jagdwagen has been modified for modern day street use (lowered, 911 seats and dash, roll bar and 110 hp 912 engine). We have run a 1500 mile rally in it and it really upsets the Porsche purists. It is one of the very last ones made and we have all of the original parts so that it can be restored to its original configuration.

Much as we like flathead engines, Detroit's development of V8s with overhead valves after World War II really gave a shot of horsepower to those speed-maddened hot-rodders who were ready to take their machines to the next level past the ol' flathead Ford. Cadillac and Olds came out with their sibling OHV engine design in 1949, and Caddies from that year until 1967 were powered by 331s, 365s, 390s, and 429s. Plenty of these engines found their way into hooned-out Model Ts and As as well. Engine photo credit: Stephen Foskett [Wikipedia]

We've reached another milestone in the Down On The Street Series, with today's vehicle being the 250th vintage (or at least interesting) street-parked vehicle I've photographed parked on the streets of Alameda, California. It's been a little over a year since we saw the very first DOTS car, and I never thought I'd be able to find as many as I have. Doing this series has turned me into an annoyingly slow driver when I'm in Alameda, as I'm constantly cruising at minimum speed and scanning parked cars for potential DOTS candidates; by this time I've developed the ability to pick out an interesting parked car just from a nanosecond's glimpse of a grille at a distance of several blocks. So make the jump and check out the cars!

Since our server hamsters all die when we try to show more than 200 images in a post you can just go to the 200 DOTS post to see the earlier DOTS cars, I'm just going to show you cars #200 through #250 here. Those of you with questions about why this small island city has so many old cars on the street should check out the explanations here.

1941 Chevrolet Pickup

1950 Ford

1956 Ford F-100

1958 Mercedes-Benz 220S

1960 Volkswagen Transporter

1962 Ford Falcon

1963 Dodge D100

1963 Porsche 356

1964 Ford F-100

1964 Chrysler 300

1964 Mercury Comet Cyclone

1965 Mercury Comet

1966 Buick Riviera

1966 Dodge Coronet 440 Convertible

1966 Mercedes-Benz 250S

1967 Plymouth Barracuda

1968 Porsche 912

1968 Mercury Cougar

1969 Volkswagen Beetle

1969 Ford Mustang

1970 Cadillac Coupe de Ville

1971 Chrysler Newport Royal

1971 Chevrolet Blazer

1971 Dodge Dart

1973 MGB

1974 Ford Maverick

1974 Chevrolet Camaro

1975 Chevrolet El Camino

1976 International Harvester Scout II

1977 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser

1977 Fiat 124 Sport Spider

1977 Volvo 244DL

1978 Dodge Monaco Brougham

1979 Porsche 928

1980 Plymouth Arrow Pickup Truck

1981 Fiat Strada

1982 Datsun 280ZX Turbo

1982 Toyota Corolla

1982 Mazda 626 Luxury

1983 Toyota 4x4 Pickup

1984 Plymouth Reliant

1984 Jaguar XJ6

1986 Pontiac Fiero GT

1987 Mitsubishi Starion

1989 Alfa Romeo Graduate

1989 Chevrolet Camaro RS

1969 Cadillac Sedan de Ville

1965 Chevrolet C10

1983 BMW 633CSi

So we got this babe driving down the coast in an old Jaguar and the Charge light comes on. What to do? Why, whip off one of her Pretty Polly stockings and tie it into the exact right length for use as a fan belt (we don't see her adjusting the tension, but we must assume that she's carrying a major set of tools if she's driving that thing out of sight of her garage). What happens next? It probably went like this: Sure, you'd figure there'd be a strict cause/effect relationship between the broken fan belt and the Charge light... but you'd be wrong! There's no such thing as a single equipment failure on an old British car; the broken belt was just a distraction from the real problem. Bad generator? Several connectors going bad at the same moment? Whatever it is, that other stocking isn't going to be much help when the next breakdown takes place a few miles down the coast!

With the '69 Citröen ID19 carrying the French to victory over their British rivals in the PCH Superpower Rematch, I can see we'll need to have some more elimination rounds to see whether France or Britain shall be crushed beneath the weight of proudly display the oil-spraying, parts-shedding PCH Superpower Trophy. Today's challenge, however, is a return to a fine PCH tradition with no nationalistic overtones: Two-For-One Hell Projects!

Many of us took a look at the DOTS '56 Willys Station Wagon and imagined ourselves tearing through the woods or desert in such a fine specimen of vintage off-road machinery. Thing is, parts are getting tricky to find for these proto-SUVs, trickier even than fitting a Super-Fructo Distendo-Abdomen™ five-gallon soft-drink bucket into an undersized European cup holder. What you need is a parts car! That's why you'll be overjoyed to find this pair of Willys Station Wagons, a '51 and a '58, for the survivalist-friendly price tag of one thousand dollars (or a bit more than an ounce of gold, for those of you who fear the Trilateral Commission/Federal Reserve cabal and their so-called "currency"). One of them has a complete-looking Tornado 6-banger (and is "Tornado" one of the best engine names ever or what?), and both have at least half their components; you might even find enough unrusted parts to assemble one good body! Oh yeah, and with a Willys Station Wagon, you don't use a goddamn cup holder for your drink of kiddie sugar-water- you use a canteen full of manly swamp water!

But let's say the SUV/cup holer stigma is so powerful that it manages to taint even such an excellent motor vehicle as the Willys Station Wagon (impossible, but just for the sake of argument). You want cars for your Two-For-One Hell Project, do you? Step right up for this Mercedes/Pontiac deal, folks! For a very optimistic- yet subject to relentless downward negotiating pressure- price tag of $4,000, you could have a 1958 Pontiac "Fire Chief" (we're assuming it's actually a Star Chief or Super Chief) and a 1962 Mercedes-Benz 220. The Benz "has not run in a few years," but we're talking about a car that's just getting broken in at 500,000 miles! How hard could it be to get this Heckflosse rolling again? It's in Reno, so maybe rust isn't a problem... in fact, think of all the things that might not be problems here! Then, once you've finished getting your Mercedes-Benz into perfect condition, you can look forward to many happy decades weeks working on your '58 Pontiac. It "needs engine and rearend," which doesn't make it clear whether you get any rebuildable components. That won't matter, however, because you'll be building up a monster Tri-Power 421 with the biggest, shiniest blower your food money can buy sticking through the hood, and the factory differential might as well be carved from Velveeta when it comes to dealing with all that power. OK, so this project might cost a few bucks, but your Mercedes will give you the requisite feeling of wealth to keep the stress down.

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The V12 Jagchero vaporized the Electric Renault R10 in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity voting, but the lopsidedness of the matchup had some supporters of liberty, equality, and eternal torment crying foul. It's bad enough that the British entry was packing a V12 versus the French car's electric motor, but to make a sedan compete against a Rancheroized machine? That's why it's only fair that we have a PCH Superpower rematch today, featuring a more level playing field and one Bargain Hell Project from each side of the Channel.

Those postwar Jag saloons sure are pretty, aren't they? For most of us, ownership of such a rare and valuable cat has seemed so far out of reach that we've never even contemplated it. It turns out we've all been too pessimistic! You can get a 55-year-old Jaguar saloon for the price of a 15-year-old beater Civic! Can't believe it? Take a gander at this 1953 Jaguar Mark VII, my friends, and witness the easy attainability of your classic-Jag dreams! The seller is asking for $1,500, which means there's plenty of negotiating room when it comes to the wheeling and dealing. The car will need some TLC, no denying it. There's rust. Oh yes, plenty of rust. The upholstery is "petrified cracked and can be used possibly as a pattern." Not very shockingly, we find that the XK engine doesn't run. You could attempt a full restoration, and we have nothing but admiration for anyone insane devoted enough to take on such a task. Or you could swap in a V12 out of a junked XJ-S, head down to Tijuana for a diamond-tucked purple satin interior job, and leave the paint looking just as it is now. Add some Cherry Bombs and some rusty wire-spoke wheels and you'll be lookin' good on a budget!

When you're talking serious Hell Projects, two not-so-little words come to mind: Hydropneumatic Suspension! That Jag is pretty sweet, we'll give you that, but it rides on plain ol' harsh springs! Your backseat passengers will be liable to spill their champagne every time you hit a pothole, and that just won't do in a fine European luxury sedan. Those geniuses at Citröen put a very effective hydropneumatic suspension setup in their DS, and you could benefit from their brilliance by handing over 22 Benjamins to the seller of this 1969 Citröen ID19. I think the description of this car works best if laid out like a poem:

Project car.
Lost interest.
The best thing about this car is that it runs great.
Needs TLC with the hydraulic leaks,
upholstery
and paint.

Of course, you won't lose interest in this project, not even after the sixth month of cursing those Citröen geniuses and their leaky hydraulics! You'll persevere, and the reward will be worth all the agony!

The Gawker Overlords have so far refused to buy us an Official Jalopnik Vehicle, no matter how much we've tried to convince them that something like a Citröen SM or Tatra 603 would give us such unassailable credibility that our competitors would simply fold their tents and go home. Now we've found what may be the perfect car for the NorCal Jalopnik office (which, conveniently enough, has just one employee):

this 1954 Lincoln Capri built to full Panamericana specs, a throwback to the era when you could utter the words "Lincoln" and "race car" in the same sentence and not confuse your listeners. A steal at $27,500! You listening, Overlords? [Craigslist Orange County; go here if ad disappears]

We learned on Friday that Dante Alighieri would prefer to drive a '58 Fiat 600 Multipla in Hell, and that's an important lesson. Another lesson that all those sentenced to eternity in Project Car Hell should learn is the joys associated with buying a Hell Project without a price. Yes, literally priceless cars await us today, and not just any priceless cars. Old race cars!
See, this way you can negotiate endlessly with some hardball seller, drag your newly-acquired dilapidated carcass diamond in the rough home, and dream of old-timey racing glory as you recreate hand-fabricated components for the next decade.

These days, you can take your 3rd-gen Camaro or Fox Mustang and build a credible 9-second drag car without too much trouble and only a few wheelbarrows full of Benjamins. Sure, you'll be quick, but there's bound to be some old guy at the track who remembers blasting down Lions Drag Strip in a barely controllable 392 Hemi-powered Anglia or Topolino with a cigar clenched in his teeth and a couple of empty Schlitz cans rolling around by the pedals. He'll look you in the eye as you climb out of your safe-n-sane beast and you'll know what he's thinking. And you'll feel shame. But it doesn't have to be that way! Just call up the seller of this Hemi-powered 1932 Austin Bantam, which the seller "was told" ran 9.20 at 160 MPH back in the hazily-specified day and start talking money. I say "seller" instead of "owner" in this case, because it appears that this guy has a line on the car and hopes to turn it around for a quick buck: "i plan on buying this car and selling it for a profit it's not cheap." So there you have it- no price, seller may not own the car- what could go wrong? We don't know when it was built or raced, but the wishful-thinking rollbar seems to indicate late 1950s through late 1960s. Hmmm... wonder how hard it would be to make this thing nominally street legal? Imagine using this Austin as a daily driver!

It's hard to argue with the sheer awesomosity of that Bantam, of course, but what if your preferred flavor of racing involves turns as well as Schlitz cans? In that case your particular level of Hell has a parking area reserved for low-production orphan road-race cars, such as, say, this 1957 Devin with aluminum Rover Buick V8. This appears to be a Devin SS, but we can't say for sure; the seller doesn't feel like tapping the keyboard any longer than absolutely necessary, so there's not much in the way of description here. In fact, all we get is "(LOOKS LIKE A FERRARI!) NOT CHEEP but is valuable!" But really, what else do you need? The "NOT CHEEP" part is especially informative, and it augurs one of those lengthy Middle East peace agreement-style bargaining sessions that starts out with a $1,500,000 asking price countered by a $500 counteroffer and goes downhill from there. But just picture yourself behind the wheel of this fine fiberglass machine in a money-is-no-object vintage race, leaving all the dime-a-dozen Ferraris and Jaguars behind like so many Nash Metropolitans!

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The 6.9 Mercedes-Benz used its JFG status as a knotted club to pound the bratwurst out of the BMW L6 in yesterday's Hell Über Alles PCH poll, winning by one of the most lopsided margins we've ever seen. Today I'm so inspired by the San Francisco daily-driven 1970 Fiat 500 that I've started shopping for potential Fiat projects. Yes, I've suppressed all those childhood memories of my mom's '73 Fiat 128, which was the source of so many "family outing derailed by car trouble" episodes that they all sort of blur together into one mental snapshot of a green boxy car being hooked up to a tow truck. But your 128s, your 124s, even your X-1/9s... they're too easy!

What do you get when you take a 45-year-old Ghia-rebodied Fiat 1500 (one of only 600 manufactured) and let it sit in a field for a decade or two? You get this 1963 Ghia 1500GT, that's what! The Ghia 1500GT is Concentrated Essence of Italian Car Hell, and the best part is that it's going to be just as difficult- if not more difficult- to fix up as a Ferrari or Maserati, only without the possibility of getting 40% of your investment back by selling the finished project. But we don't care, because... well, look at it! Problems, sure, we admit you'll have a few. There's rust. The interior is probably shot. You have to figure the engine is most likely bad, but a car this pretty deserves more than 84 horses anyway; how about a Fiat Twin-Cam with all the goodies? Don't worry about the purists... wait, do Fiat purists even exist?

Italian sports cars are cool, that's a fact. But seeing that Fiat 500 taking up less than half a standard parking space was an inspiring sight; just imagine having a tiny vintage Fiat with forward controls and lots of backseat passenger room! A miniature Italian Econoline! Well, now you can, simply by placing the winning bid on this 1958 Fiat 600 Multipla. Like the Ghia 1500GT, this one has been outstanding in its field for many years (the seller describes the setup as "LONG TIME OUTSIDE STORAGE"), so you figure the interior has been thoroughly destroyed by the California sun and all the components that ever touched fluid will need replacing. Fiat 600s aren't absolutely impossible to find in North America (just nearly impossible), so you might be able to avoid having all your parts shipped from Italy with this project. The seller uses the future tense when describing the engine's running condition, but I know what you're all thinking, so maybe the engine condition is irrelevant. The rust isn't too bad, but the windshield is broken (wonder how much it costs to get a new one shipped from Rome?) and some trim pieces are long gone. But still, imagine being able to haul yourself and three companions, plus luggage, in a car that can park anywhere!

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Most 1950s car ads are full of gibberish and nonsensical feature names, so it's understandable that we tend to tune out most of the hype and focus on the great styling when we see such ads today. However, the 1955 Chevrolet really was an important milestone for Detroit, with the first of millions of cheap, reliable small-block Chevrolet V8s and a profile that even non-car geeks can recognize today. Here's a series of what appear to be dealer promo ads for the '55- quick, in addition to "Motoramic™" and "Glide Ride™," how many trademarked features can you name from these ads?

This is the 24th 1950s vehicle we've seen so far in this series, and it seemed right to follow up the '58 Mercedes-Benz 220S with something from Detroit. You can't get much more Detroit than an old Ford, so here comes a car from a two-time DOTS owner (as far as I know, WhatWouldJesseDo is the only three-time DOTS honoree).

Some of you might recall seeing this Ford in the background of the photos of the pink '52 Dodge we saw last summer. Since that time, the Ford project has progressed enough for it to drive around under its own power and park on the street.


It had some rust problems (now fixed), and naturally it's been lowered about as far as possible.


The metalflake green roof pain looks pretty sharp, although I'm not sure what the rest of the paint job will look like after the bodywork is done. Or maybe this is the finished paint job!


Project or finished car, it's good to see a 58-year-old machine that lives on one of the busiest streets in town.

Technically, the pickup truck version of the Mercedes-Benz 180D, built during the 1956-58 period for the South African market, wasn't a factory Benzamino (or should that name be Mercedampage, given the later association with Chrysler?), but we figure it's close enough for our purposes. 400 Mercedes-Benz 180Ds with no body behind the B pillar were imported to South Africa to have the beds installed locally, and they were promptly dubbed "Bakkies" by the locals. You can read about a Bakkie restoration project here, or wish for a time machine in order buy this one that just sold on eBay. [MBZPonton.org]

In a rare upset, a French car actually lost a Choose Your Eternity challenge! Not only that, front-wheel-drive triumphed over a rear-engined machine. Yes, the Fiat 128 Rally beat the Simca 1000GL in our last Project Car Hell! Today we're going to look at a pair of vehicles that do interesting things with the concept of scale: a tiny German Thunderbird or a huge Seattle Hot Wheels car.

Anyone who doesn't like the idea of a 50-year-old front-wheel-drive German car that looks like a Thunderbird and gets its motive power from a three-cylinder two-stroker... well, you've come to the wrong website! And since the rest of you presumably want to walk the walk in addition to talking the talk, we've got just the project to fill that empty space in your garage and create an even emptier space in your wallet: this 1958 Auto Union 1000 SP, which is currently sitting at a nice friendly sub-$2500 price, with no reserve. This is one of the most complete 1000 SPs you're going to find in North America, but as the seller says: "There are likely many missing parts." But haven't you always wanted to take a parts-shopping trip to Germany? Travel tip: airport security personnel frown on brake drum and carburetors in your carry-on baggage. The engine doesn't run (of course), and there's rust, and the upholstery has "exploded" from sun damage, so you'll never run out of things to work on! Thanks to MadHungarian for the tip!

It's tough to out-cool an Auto Union, but a Corvair van with a 70s custom job might do the trick... especially if it's a chopped, shortened Corvair van like this one from 1963. And the price- why, it was only $366.01 at the time of this writing, and that's with no reserve! It's hard to tell from the photos, but this thing may be designed for the driver's head to protrude through the sunroof, Rat Fink style (which means it needs a 5' long gearshift lever for the full effect). Now, the same busybodies who bleat about games of Midnight Drunken Lawn Darts being unsafe will no doubt point their bony puritanical forefingers at this van and tell you that a vehicle with super-short wheelbase and a six-cylinder engine in the back is a deathtrap. Pay them no mind- what this van needs is more power, preferably courtesy of an engine that will make Corvair purists hate you even more than they hate R***h N***r! How about the hairest, most hyperboosted Subaru six possible? Before you can get to that point, however, you'll need to deal with the rust. Lots of rust. Then you'll need to get custom glass made, because it seems to lack a windshield and (probably) door glass. And, of course, you'll need to get the most bongtastic 70s black-light interior money can buy, for reasons too obvious to get into here.

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When you see an eBay Motors auction with the top bid sitting at $6,000,000 and the reserve not met, you know you're probably dealing with something Italian and bursting with more history than Rome itself. And, sure enough, here's 1956 Ferrari 500 Chassis #0650, one of 20 built and winner of the inaugural race at Laguna Seca. It sure looks pretty, doesn't it? Bet it sounds good, too. If you had the money, would you drop an atomic bid on this lil' red devil? [eBay Motors]

The '88 Bentley Mulsanne had its entourage of coked-up thugs stuff the MGC into The Crusher in Friday's Choose Your Eternity poll, with nearly 65% of voters preferring Bentley Hell to MG Hell. With all the British, Italian, and French machinery we've seen in this series recently, we tend to forget that the Germans are no slouches at providing us with Hell Projects. Oh, sure, the Germans do a pretty good job with engineering and quality control (and British Leyland-style labor strife was never a factor, what with the stern Prussian overseers brandishing their riding crops at the assembly line workers), but complexity is dear to the heart of any self-respecting German engineer, and complex cars have complex problems! That's why we're taking a little trip to German Car Hell today, with a pair of vintage Mercedes-Benzes featuring budget price tags.

Everyone liked the Ponton Mercedes-Benz we had on DOTS not long ago, so I've been keeping an eye out for an affordable one. Now, let's say- just for the sake of argument- that you could find a Ponton for $500. Would you do what Team Field Find did with their Mercedes Fintail? Get ready for exactly that dilemma, because here's a 1958 Mercedes-Benz 219 (go here if the ad disappears) for exactly five Benjamins! You can't expect a W105 Mercedes at that price to be perfect, so it doesn't come as much of a shock to find that this one doesn't run. However, the seller states that it "has motor use to run," which should be reassuring. Looks like the interior needs some work, too, and some trim pieces have gone AWOL. The thing about this car that serves as such an effective lure to the sulfurous abyss is that it's so solidly built that you know it's possible to make everything work again. You can do it!

It would be fun to feel like the decadent Baron von Hoon in your staid Ponton, heading out for a night of Early Jet Set Era absinthe-fueled cross-dressing action at an exclusive Berlin nightclub, but perhaps you like your Mercedes-Benzes to be more on the sporty side. We've got just what you need, Jürgen! How about a 1973 Mercedes-Benz 450SL (go here if the ad disappears) for only $750? Amazing! You won't have to worry about getting that complicated-ass Mercedes V8 to work, because it's gone... but that means you have guilt-free authorization to enrage the purists by dropping a Nissan VK45DE into the engine compartment. The body and paint aren't too bad, and the interior... well, just remember the car was only $750!

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Our last DOTS Ford truck was a month ago, so we're due for one today. In fact, today we're going to have a nice shiny non-beater Ford truck, with plenty of bright red paint and gleaming chrome. This '56 parks on the street every day, though usually it's under a cover, and its excellent condition makes for a nice contrast with the more weathered look of the '48 International Harvester I photographed a couple blocks away.

Sure, they don't look at all original, but I think Cragar SS wheels look good on this truck. The owner can always put tall skinny tires on dogdish-equipped steel wheels back on the truck, so purists need not fret.


This truck has some great emblems; in fact, I think the "Fordomatic" emblem shot is going to replace this '50 Pontiac hood ornament photo as the desktop wallpaper on my computer.


So now we have two 50s Ford pickups with bright paint colors in this series, the other being this '50.

First 200 DOTS

Many of you have been kind enough to send DOTS Bonus Edition photos my way, and you're all very good about not raking me over the coals for taking so damn long to get to some of them. Reader Vance, who dwells behind the Orange Curtain, shot this very clean 1955 Ford Fairlane on the streets of Tustin back in October. Now, most houses down in SoCal have garages, so you don't see quite as much old iron on the street... but that desert climate means you just don't get rust. When you're done checking out the Fairlane, make the jump to see the Bonus LTD, with commentary by Vance.

1965 was the first year for the LTD — a higher trim level of the Galaxie 500 that competed with the also-new Chevy Caprice (a higher-trimmed Impala) — offered in a two door or four door hardtop only. Ford sold about 68,000 of the four-doors, at a base list price of $3300 — $700 more than the equivalent Galaxie 500. This one is an original black-plate California car that started out in Banning.
The LTD model designation gets its own emblem on the C-pillar. Note the bold type font and classy crown detail.
Since the LTD didn't become a stand-alone model until 1967, this car also carries Galaxie 500 nameplates. It also has the optional factory wire wheel covers similar to the ones you could get on the Mustang (though this one is missing one of its spinner "ears.")
It's a big-block car with the optional 390 V8, available that year with either 300 or 330 horsepower. The 289 200-horse small block was the standard engine but it would have felt anemic in a car this size (though at 3500 pounds it's only about the same weight as today's Mustang GT). The new fender engine emblem for 1965 combines Thunderbird and racing cues, as did the 1962-64 emblems.
Except for the faded paint, this car is in great shape for a 42 year old vehicle. It even has factory air and a cool deck-mounted radio antenna.
Overall, a classy survivor.

Some of you Mercedes-Benz experts may have taken one glance at the photo above and spluttered "1958? Why, any fool can see that's a 1959!" However, I swear I did my best to figure out the exact model year of this car. With the help of such sites as this one, I believe I've narrowed it down to 1958 or 1959 (the 220S was made from 1956 through 1959, and the bumper-mounted license-plate lights should mean it's from the last two years... unless it's had a junkyard bumper swap, of course). Anyway, regardless of year, this is the car that Mercedes-Benz aficionados consider the very first S-class. That means it's both a cool old 50s daily driver and a significant piece of automotive history, all on one West End Alameda street!

This car lives within a few blocks of the '66 200D. Unlike the '66, however, this Benz gets driven.


Unfortunately, the interior has That Mildewing Car Smell, which is noticeable from several paces away. The weatherstripping has most likely succumbed to the decaying effects of sun and smog, and so the car spends the entire long winter leaking rainwater inside. Fortunately, it rarely rains in Alameda from about April through November, so leaky cars dry out by summertime.


The parking permits are for Tom Hanks' alma mater, Chabot College in Hayward, which means this machine's commute is about 25 miles round-trip. I couldn't get a good view of the odometer, but I'm willing to bet the total mileage on the clock is in the interstellar range.

First 200 DOTS Vehicles

Because not even a burned and wrecked 80s Ferrari can compete with a burned 70-year-old car mentioned by name in a Robert Johnson song, the '38 Hudson Terraplane ran away with the victory in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity Poll. Today we're going to skip the common theme tying the two PCH contestants together and return to that perennial battle between two of the globe's contenders for the Hell Machine Crown: Italy and Great Britain. Here we have two mighty PCH superpowers, each vying to put one of its products in your garage... and France is waiting to take on the winner tomorrow!

How did it come to this? We've gone over a month since our last Alfa Romeo in this series. That's like having a hockey team with no Canadians! That's why we're going to skip the frivolous sporty convertible Alfas and go right for the no-nonsense four-door sedan, with this 1974 Alfa Romeo 2000 Berlina. It's got a Buy It Now of just $2,000, it runs and drives, and it's even had the horrible Malaise bumpers replaced with chrome units from an earlier car. The seller clearly doesn't understand the hallowed traditions of eBay description writing; there are no unreadable blocks of CAPS LOCK text in multiple colors, rules of grammar and spelling are honored, and the description itself is coherent and complete. But we won't hold that against him or her, and it doesn't make the project any less hellish that you know what you're getting into- hey, this is a 34-year-old Italian car in Michigan! But just think about how stylish you'll feel picking up the groceries in your Berlina, while the boring-ass Normals carry on their business in minivans and Accords.

Righteous as a high-revving Italian sedan might be, you want a project that will be able to slog through the mud on beer-saturated road-sign-shooting expeditions camping trips to the purple mountain majesties. Now, you could just pick up an old Land Rover and spend the rest of your life fishing Whitworth sockets from the bubbling sulfur pits in your garage, but it's just too easy to find parts for Land Rovers and the cost of admission is too high. But you can still get a cheap, half-century-old British 4X4, simply by peeling off 15 Benjamins from your roll and buying this '59 Austin Gipsy (go here if the ad disappears). The Gipsy had a complicated sophisticated fully independent suspension all the way around, 67 pushrod horsepower, and a tendency to rust that was shocking even by British standards; in other words, it's perfect! Unlike the seller of the Berlina, the Gipsy's seller knows how you're supposed to describe a car for sale, with no very useful information given. It runs and drives, but there's rust and it "needs restoration." We figure all it needs is year after year of metal repair, a grunt-happy diesel engine, and great big swamp-ready tires. And your soul.

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