I found this truck on the same block where the Evil New Yorker once parked, and just around the corner from the '60 Rambler American Custom. I can tell its model year falls somewhere within the 1948-1950 span, thanks to the grille and passenger-side vent louvers, but that's as close as I can guess so I'm going to say it's a '49. Any clarifications, early Suburban experts?

This truck, which had a shipping weight of 3,710 pounds, came from the factory with an overhead-valve Thriftmaster 216-cube six generating 90 horsepower. Compare that to the 2009 model, which scales in at an 18-wheeler-esque 6,327 pounds… and packs an engine that grunts out 352 horsepower. So, nearly twice the weight, moved by nearly four times the power. Cupholders and power seats versus postwar style and a bouncy, rattly ride. Which would you prefer as your personal passenger truck?

Would you believe that a '49 Ford sedan, in seriously rough shape but fairly complete, showed up at an East Bay self-service junkyard? So many questions! How did the rat-rodders overlook this car? How did it get through the pre-junkyard auction without getting snapped up for $150? So, when I got back from my road trip, I hit the junkyard to get some photos of my own.

The original flathead was still there, but someone had grabbed the grille, the hood, and most of the worthwhile dash and interior components. Good to know that at least some parts of this car will live again.

However, it's our patriotic duty to ensure that the US of A gets the occasional shot at the PCH Trophy (which is now in the shop for magnafluxing and should be back any month now). It's still possible to find a true Detroit Hell Project- you just need to find one that's been mangled modified to the point of hopelessness super-coolness, or maybe something from a long-defunct non-Big-Three automaker. We've got both for you today!



Sometimes you have to factor in the Enraged Neighbor Index (ENI) when you're calculating the hellishness of a project. The ENI should be considered a multiplier; for example, if you've got a single project car- say, a decrepit Triumph GT6 with a family of skunks living in the engine compartment- sitting on blocks on your driveway, you can figure on an ENI of 2.5- that is, 2.5 times the hell you'd have with the same car leaking invisibly in your garage, what with all that whining about destroyed neighborhood property values, chasing busybodies off with a shotgun, etc. However, the calculations get really interesting when you suddenly acquire a junkyard on your property- say, these four 1949 and 1950 Packards. According to our calculations, lining up four basket-case Packards anywhere in view of your neighbors results in a staggering ENI figure of 4,522! Yes, your life will become what your lawyers like to call "a series of terrible misunderstandings" once you start this project, but so what? Every one of these cars ran when parked, and every one has a straight eight engine! Some of the glass is still there, ditto the trim, and the seller says that red stuff is just surface rust- why, you could have all four of these classic machines back on the road in your dreams no time! And, say, maybe the worst one could be turned into a slam-dunk 24 Hours Of LeMons People's Choice winner! Thanks to Whoa Befalls Electra for the tip!



If you're talking Detroit cars, you'd better be talking Detroit muscle! But the endless lines of 60s GM A bodies, Mustangs, and Chrysler B bodies at the car shows are strictly from snoresville, just like classic rock. You want to be able to knock off a guhnarly-ass burnout in the convenience-store parking lot, then blow away some Integras, then go to jail for Exhibition Of Speed use the same car as a commuter machine, right? Hell yeah! That's why you need this 4.3 Vortech-powered 1976 Chevy Chevette (go here if the ad disappears), which is priced at just $1,000. Why, you can't even get a medium-quick 3rd-gen Camaro for that kind of money! This project isn't quite what you'd call finished, but it's not very pretty close; the engine is mounted, but it's not running yet ("Ignition needs wired in , Needs fuel deliverysystem completed, Exhaust and a Battery"). It's got the stock Chevette rear end (which was designed to withstand 52 horsepower), but the seller seems pretty sure that the 200+ horses of that V6 should be no problem for it. Get it working and it will be extremely lethal quick! Thanks to Jim Bob for the tip!

We've had some PCH Lambos before, including a Diablo, another Diablo, an Urraco, an Espada, and another Espada. But we've never had the most Lamborghini-ish Lamborghini of them all, the ridiculously awesome Countach. Sure sure, the Countach would get eaten up by a lot of not-quite-supercar factory hot rods these days, but you still need one! The problem is finding one that's an affordable project, which isn't easy… but we've managed to find this 1985 Lamborghini Countach for you, and it has a Buy It Now of only $22,500! Heck, that's what you'd pay for a nice Fieroborghini, but it's the real deal! Now, there's a reason for the cheap price tag, and it becomes apparent once you look at photos showing anything other than the car's nose. Turns out there was a bit of an overheating problem, so severe that the entire rear of the car was pretty much obliterated. The engine and transmission are gone, but you can get yourself a replacement V12 right here, and it's only $6,800. Lamborghini purists will hate you, but they already hate you and yours on general principle anyway. As for the missing body panels, you just need to get yourself some readily-available Fieroborghini parts. See, you'll be driving a hideous parody of a genuine Countach in 25 years no time!

What are you, some kind of crass nouveaux riche show-off, looking to come on like David Lee Roth in a silly cocaine-injected 80s Italian supercar? Of course you aren't, and that's why someone of your stature needs a vintage Rolls-Royce leaking forlornly standing proudly in your driveway. The best Rolls to get is one from the immediate postwar era, during which Britain's bombed-to-hell economy was in utter shambles, food rationing was the rule, the Empire was slipping away… and the downtrodden masses were eating mud kicked up by exquisitely crafted luxury machines such as this 1949 Rolls-Royce Silver Wraith, driven by a handful of war profiteers who grew fat on the suffering of millions. Now that's a luxury car! Thing is, the decades have taken their toll on this Roller, and you'll have incredible quantities a few parts to replace, and that will might cost a fortune a few bucks. There's not much description, but "The car needs complete restoration" is all you need. Hey, it's only $12,950!

I spotted this 1949 Frazer Manhattan (?) and 1949 Kaiser Traveler before, but I forgot where they were. I stumbled across them again on my way to pick up a radiator for my 1980 Z28 project. There are actually spider webs between the tires and ground. Nobody was home, so I had to make due with the exterior pics only. I had no idea how cool the Traveler was until I googled it.

After finding these in a "historic" neighborhood, I correctly concluded that there would be other classics around. Unfortunately, they were all in driveways. I snapped a few shots from the street. The Ford truck was on the street.

First, let's have the anthem!

Before you go lining up your airbrush artist and gold-plating shop, you need to get a starting point. Since we're going old-school traditional here, the obvious choice would have to be the '64 Chevy Impala coupe. Now, you could find yourself a nice original '64, but have you priced them lately? You won't be able to afford that huge mural depicting La Noche Triste across the hood if you blow your entire roll on Day One, and it's simply unacceptable to get a four-door or even a Biscayne. We've got the solution, though, and a fine one at that: This 1964 Impala Two-Door (go here if the ad disappears) has a totally reasonable price tag of only $1,800. There's rust, the engine and glass are missing, but the seller has "ALL THE DOORS AND FENDERS AND HOOD and trunk WHICH ARE SRAIGHT," plus "95%" of the trim. The seller really does want to sell the car, not like those other guys who spam their basket-case Impalas on Craigslist because they "just want the world to know that they own a Impala." The drivetrain will be easy and cheap, which means you'll have plenty of time and money left to take on... everything else!

Come on, doing a '64 Impala lowrider is like building yet another big-block '69 Camaro- sure, you'll love it... but you'll just be one of a very large crowd. How about going with an for an earlier era for your classic lowrider? Something just as iconic, but that would turn heads on Whittier Boulevard in 1955 just as readily as today? We're going back into time, back to a topsy-turvy world in which you could utter "Mercury" and "cool" in the same sentence and not have everyone avoid eye contact with you. Yes, 1949, when these three '49 Mercury coupes (go here if the ad disappears) were made! The seller claims one of the three is "THE BEST ONE" (though it's unclear how that was determined) and he or she "WOULD SELL ONE OR ALL." As an added bonus, the cars are located in the Flaming Lips' hometown of Norman, Oklahoma, which means you'll be humming "One Million Billionth of a Millisecond on a Sunday Morning" every time you look at your new project! It's not clear how many cars you get for $3,950, nor is it clear whether you get any drivetrain or interior components. Take heart, though, because you can see at least two unbroken pieces of glass in the photos! Once you've made one solid '49- hey, with three cars you've got a real shot- you can get started on applying many, many coats of hand-rubbed lacquer paint, put together a rumbly flathead engine, etc.

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My childhood was full of tales of my mom's brother, Dirty Duck, and the '55 Cadillac ambulance he owned for a while. How he was busted on several occasions for using the red lights and siren in traffic, just because sirens are fun, dammit! How he visited the hospital while I was being born, with the back of the ambulance full of cases of Old Milwaukee for all the expectant fathers in the waiting room. Yes, it's great having an ambulance- you get the same vast carrying capacity of a hearse, without the overtones of death, faux hipsterdom, etc. And we guarantee you'd enjoy driving this 1949 Cadillac ambulance, on sale for a miser-friendly $5995. The seller says it "runs great," which probably doesn't mean anything like the same thing as "everything works," but at least it moves under its own power. Of course, it "needs your individual cosmestic touch," whatever that means, and the seller is sub-forthcoming about any details, so you figure there will be hundreds of a few surprises in store before you've got this baby wailing down the boulevard like you're on the way to the site of a mob hit by Mickey Cohen triggermen.

That '49 is cool, no doubt about it, but wouldn't you rather have the kind of ambulance that would have been used to haul, say, an OD-ing member of the Manson Family? The seller of this 1968 Cadillac ambulance thinks that it's just like the '59 Cadillac ambulance from the movie "Ghostbusters," thus making the thing worth four grand, but we're pretty sure the sight of some actual Benjamins will change his or her tune on that price. Nevertheless, this ambulance has serious coolness potential, especially for your disturbing medical fetishes costume party ideas. Now, you don't get a '68 Cadillac ambulance that runs for cheap, and given that this one has been sitting in the New Hampshire woods for more than 25 years... well, you'll be on intimate terms with every single component with any sort of seal, not to mention the entire fuel system. But look at those bullet-shaped red lights! Imagine Janis Joplin in the back, on her way to SF General to get that Seconal/Southern Comfort cocktail pumped out, while that big 472 roars through Cherry Bombs and the siren wails!

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Apparently, the seller of this '49 MG TC has been deluged with insulting and/or combative emails about his car for quite a while now, judging by such statements as "If you do not understand the difference between a wood framed steel panelled body and fiberglass, please leave me alone. I do not need to be told this is a kit car by any more idiots. Nor do I care if you object to the modifications!" But... the question remains; what is this car, really? It's got a '79 Capri engine, Alfa Romeo wheels, and all manner of fiberglass, wood, and aluminum body modifications, so we're not sure how much MG is left. Still, the seller claims there's room for a small-block in the engine compartment- now there's an idea that gets our Stamp-O-Approval- and the price is just $5800.

Think an MG, even a '49, is just too common? You might want to size up the idea of buying this '56 Morgan 4/4, wooden frame and all. The original engine is long gone, replaced by a 1600cc unit out of an MGA, and it's missing all sorts of pieces. The asking price of $10,500 seems a bit steep as well, but as the seller says, "Sorry for the price, sorry that it is an old oil leaking English car, sorry I could not accept your 30% offer." The body has plenty of surface rust, but it seems to be of the non-penetrating California variety. You'd feel pretty snazzy- and pretty poor- after you got this fine British machine back on the road again!

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