Europeans seem to have a penchant for big pileups. Unless it was on some rural road where a guy lost constrol, whenever I'd hear about a bad accident it would involve an unbelievable number of cars.
And I found #11 particularly humorous because these are the sorts of antics I see people in my home country engage in. I guess this is the consequence of everything being so expensive and heavily taxed in Europe; people are constantly trying to squeeze a few extra bucks out wherever they can.
The #11 H-body LeSabre scares me a bit. It has the same kitschy-killer vibe as the '69 Econoline...
But hey, I'd gladly pilot the #9 Bark Beetle. Realtreetle. Whatever.
So how do we think the owner of the Oregonian beige Taurus (#3) got it to say "MOUTH"? I'm guessing 'junkyard-found letters from various Fords, glued on level with a ruler'.
@FP: Your Volvo is awesome! Anyway: ... or just grab a "PLYMOUTH" badge off a junkyard minivan and get to work with the hobby knife, like I noted in the caption.
Ah yes, #11 brings back memories of my old College job. You would think cutting acres of grass with a pull behind deck mower on an Old John Deere would get old. But no, it's actually quite cathartic. The rythmic chug of the diesel, the hum of the mower and the smell of the grass and diesel just release all of your pent up stress. Scope creep only happened when it poured in conjuction with a heavy fertilizer, but I could always confirm success of my job by looking behind me. Man, I miss that instant gratification.
I did #11 at a dry lake somewhere northwest of Pioche, NV, and allow to make some observations:
- On a Honda CB 450 you can do big, lazy powerslides forever
- Forever is less than 25 minutes
- The seemingly perfect surface extends for miles
- Seemingly is a very deceptive word
- When encountered at 105 MPH, a small piece of Volkswagen wheel protruding from the salt can remove a motocross boot
- Anyone can learn to do the splits in a very short period of time without training or conditioning
- Accomplishing the above gymnastic feat removes walking from your skills matrix
- The speed at which the salt will burn through two pairs of Levi's is less than 105 MPH
- Kick starting a CB 450 when you can't walk is somewhat difficult
- Driving a CB 450 with no handlebars and bent forks will reintroduce you to the salt
- It takes about 15 minutes for your friends to stop laughing long enough to render assistance
For all you tards, here is a brief rundown. (number by picture, to make it easy) #2. Slide the seat in position, leave it the fuck alone. Done. #3. Is there water? If yes-turn the wipers on, if no-leave it the fuck alone. (same for darkness) #4. I would like to stab the person who thought of this, reach to the seat belt and bring it to the buckle. EASY #5. This is stupid, roll the fucking windows down. #6. Push-button ignition is cooler, stop making the keyfob bigger. #7. I want to see the little red needle zoom past the numbers, leave it alone. #8. Get rid of your stupid SUV, buy a sedan, and turn the fuck around. #9. Power on and power off, learn your car and stop being lazy. #10. Gas/Electric hybrid is just a band-aid. Make better use with technology. #11. Take the time and learn to parallel park, its easy. Stop being lazy. #12. Learn how to use your cruise control (you know, the buttons that say accelerate and decelerate). Stop hitting your brakes. #13. Your auto-slushbox still won't get it spot on as you could if you know how to drive your car. #14. This isn't WRC, stop being silly. #15. Never fucking works right, Cool/Hot - Fan Control - Floor/Face/defrost mix works. #16. Driving is feeling the car. It becomes an extension of yourself. There is a reason why you can't stay on the road in Forza 3 like you can in the real world. #17. Map your route, learn your area, stop being a dick. #18. Active noise canceling is annoying, sound dampening material can help quiet things easy. #19. Making things overly complicated makes more things that can go wrong. #20. Is it really that hard? really? The stupid button is two feet from you. I can hit buttons on my dash without looking at them, can you? #21. Motorcycles are everywhere, look twice and don't be lazy. #22. If your bazillion candlewatt xenons are still not enough, stop blinding the fuck out of everyone else and see a doctor. #23. Having a handle that is wired to a brake makes me feel good. Keep it simple. #24. Pull the fuck over and sleep at the rest stop. Its your fault that you have been at Mohegan Sun all night playing hold'em. Take this time to come up with a story to tell your wife. #25. Eyes...white lines...simple. If you can't do this, you are going to run some poor kid down in the crosswalk. I don't care if your mom needs this, tell her to get her old ass off the road. #26. READ A BOOK, READ A BOOK, READ A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK.
END.
(ps- your replay means nothing to me, don't bother.
Dr.Danger owns the city turkeys promoted this comment
Edited by Dr. H. F. Danger at 07/31/09 3:49 PM
Dr. H. F. Danger was starred
Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet promoted this comment
Edited by Shamoononon: I shave my legs. at 07/31/09 3:55 PM
Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was starred
Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was unstarred
@Dr.Danger owns the city turkeys: What some don't understand is why the tech was created in the first place. 1 GPS is not for getting around the city you live in. Do you know your way around the entire USA/Canada? 2. Auto braking was created for a reason. During emergency stops, most people have the tendency to either pump the brakes or do not actually apply 100% braking. Both of these increase braking distance. 3. power seats- Does anyone here have a family? Are you and your wife and children all clones of each other and therefore enjoy the same seat position? If not, then power seats with memory buttons are very useful.
@Cliff_Dangers:
1. I drove from Boston to New Orleans with a quick google map and a couple state maps EASY. Although, my advantage is that I grew up in a big city.
2. Driving courses should be more in-depth, like learning how to brake in an emergency. Training for a racing license helped me with this.
3. I do agree about memory settings making it easier for multiple drivers, but it is no problem switching between me (6'2") and my wife (5'7") without power seats.
The #46 Plymouth Laser gets bonus points for shearing off its lug nuts early into the race...
See the photo of the #11 Saturn there? There's its wheel being a massive road hazard there. The Laser came into the pits on the back of a flatbed and was unceremoniously dumped with a loud THUNK as nobody knew or cared how to get it off the truck properly.
Amazingly enough (to me, anyway), the team managed to repair the lugnuts, reattach the wheel, and get it racing again after a few hours. Who says American ingenuity is dead?
#11 - No need to brake on the last split of a second before entering a corner, makes it for the viewer a parade where one driver slowly (at high speeds) overtakes another.
Alright, this has to be one of the greatest LeMons races ever. The astonishing number of different cars that you would have never expected to compete, let alone finish, is certainly awe inspiring. Discounting the number of E30's (and other BMW's), MR2's, and Miatas (those seem to show up everywhere!), the rest of the field is nothing short of, well, amazing.
But I really want to single out a few of my favorites in this race because I thought they made this event very memorable:
#64 - The Motoring J Style Isuzu. Finishing second place in what is considered Japan's Fiat. Way to go.
#58 - Bigfoot Escort. Finishing 3rd in an 88HP s**tbox is either lucky, or very skilled.
#11 - Hurling Moss BMW 2002. Usually I hate the BMW's, but this one, covered in vegitation, and rust, still managed to finish in the top 10!
#33 - the Yellow B-210. A Malaise Era subcompact.... love it.
#30 - the 57 Chevolvo. Amazing body work, stunning to look at in pictures.
#44 - The Green Hornet. A Racing, Malaise era AMC.
#61 - a 1965 or 66 Mustang. Another 60's era rust bucket competing. Need more of these type of vehicles in this type of race environment.
#54 - Unsafe at any speed. A 65 Corvair after my own heart. It's a learning curve for this team.
#57 - Truckster Pinto. I thought this was the best theme.
Honorable Mentions: Loved the Faster Farms Belevedere, the Bi Polar Express, and was amazed with the performance of the TR7's, the Jaguar XJ-S, and the 914.
09/24/09
We just aren't smart enough to check tire pressures ourselves.
09/21/09
And I found #11 particularly humorous because these are the sorts of antics I see people in my home country engage in. I guess this is the consequence of everything being so expensive and heavily taxed in Europe; people are constantly trying to squeeze a few extra bucks out wherever they can.
09/21/09
09/22/09
09/16/09
09/16/09
09/15/09
But hey, I'd gladly pilot the #9 Bark Beetle. Realtreetle. Whatever.
So how do we think the owner of the Oregonian beige Taurus (#3) got it to say "MOUTH"? I'm guessing 'junkyard-found letters from various Fords, glued on level with a ruler'.
09/15/09
09/15/09
I knew the lettering was either Mopar or Ford, anyway. Sorry.
I promise you I'll never do that. Reassured?
08/31/09
08/20/09
- On a Honda CB 450 you can do big, lazy powerslides forever
- Forever is less than 25 minutes
- The seemingly perfect surface extends for miles
- Seemingly is a very deceptive word
- When encountered at 105 MPH, a small piece of Volkswagen wheel protruding from the salt can remove a motocross boot
- Anyone can learn to do the splits in a very short period of time without training or conditioning
- Accomplishing the above gymnastic feat removes walking from your skills matrix
- The speed at which the salt will burn through two pairs of Levi's is less than 105 MPH
- Kick starting a CB 450 when you can't walk is somewhat difficult
- Driving a CB 450 with no handlebars and bent forks will reintroduce you to the salt
- It takes about 15 minutes for your friends to stop laughing long enough to render assistance
Hope this helps
07/31/09
#2. Slide the seat in position, leave it the fuck alone. Done.
#3. Is there water? If yes-turn the wipers on, if no-leave it the fuck alone. (same for darkness)
#4. I would like to stab the person who thought of this, reach to the seat belt and bring it to the buckle. EASY
#5. This is stupid, roll the fucking windows down.
#6. Push-button ignition is cooler, stop making the keyfob bigger.
#7. I want to see the little red needle zoom past the numbers, leave it alone.
#8. Get rid of your stupid SUV, buy a sedan, and turn the fuck around.
#9. Power on and power off, learn your car and stop being lazy.
#10. Gas/Electric hybrid is just a band-aid. Make better use with technology.
#11. Take the time and learn to parallel park, its easy. Stop being lazy.
#12. Learn how to use your cruise control (you know, the buttons that say accelerate and decelerate). Stop hitting your brakes.
#13. Your auto-slushbox still won't get it spot on as you could if you know how to drive your car.
#14. This isn't WRC, stop being silly.
#15. Never fucking works right, Cool/Hot - Fan Control - Floor/Face/defrost mix works.
#16. Driving is feeling the car. It becomes an extension of yourself. There is a reason why you can't stay on the road in Forza 3 like you can in the real world.
#17. Map your route, learn your area, stop being a dick.
#18. Active noise canceling is annoying, sound dampening material can help quiet things easy.
#19. Making things overly complicated makes more things that can go wrong.
#20. Is it really that hard? really? The stupid button is two feet from you. I can hit buttons on my dash without looking at them, can you?
#21. Motorcycles are everywhere, look twice and don't be lazy.
#22. If your bazillion candlewatt xenons are still not enough, stop blinding the fuck out of everyone else and see a doctor.
#23. Having a handle that is wired to a brake makes me feel good. Keep it simple.
#24. Pull the fuck over and sleep at the rest stop. Its your fault that you have been at Mohegan Sun all night playing hold'em. Take this time to come up with a story to tell your wife.
#25. Eyes...white lines...simple. If you can't do this, you are going to run some poor kid down in the crosswalk. I don't care if your mom needs this, tell her to get her old ass off the road.
#26. READ A BOOK, READ A BOOK, READ A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK.
END.
(ps- your replay means nothing to me, don't bother.
07/31/09
07/31/09
07/31/09
08/01/09
08/01/09
08/01/09
1. I drove from Boston to New Orleans with a quick google map and a couple state maps EASY. Although, my advantage is that I grew up in a big city.
2. Driving courses should be more in-depth, like learning how to brake in an emergency. Training for a racing license helped me with this.
3. I do agree about memory settings making it easier for multiple drivers, but it is no problem switching between me (6'2") and my wife (5'7") without power seats.
07/31/09
Are we going to have a contest to identify the car in #11?
07/17/09
07/16/09
The #46 Plymouth Laser gets bonus points for shearing off its lug nuts early into the race...
See the photo of the #11 Saturn there? There's its wheel being a massive road hazard there. The Laser came into the pits on the back of a flatbed and was unceremoniously dumped with a loud THUNK as nobody knew or cared how to get it off the truck properly.
Amazingly enough (to me, anyway), the team managed to repair the lugnuts, reattach the wheel, and get it racing again after a few hours. Who says American ingenuity is dead?
07/05/09
05/24/09
12/30/08
But I really want to single out a few of my favorites in this race because I thought they made this event very memorable:
#64 - The Motoring J Style Isuzu. Finishing second place in what is considered Japan's Fiat. Way to go.
#58 - Bigfoot Escort. Finishing 3rd in an 88HP s**tbox is either lucky, or very skilled.
#11 - Hurling Moss BMW 2002. Usually I hate the BMW's, but this one, covered in vegitation, and rust, still managed to finish in the top 10!
#33 - the Yellow B-210. A Malaise Era subcompact.... love it.
#30 - the 57 Chevolvo. Amazing body work, stunning to look at in pictures.
#44 - The Green Hornet. A Racing, Malaise era AMC.
#61 - a 1965 or 66 Mustang. Another 60's era rust bucket competing. Need more of these type of vehicles in this type of race environment.
#54 - Unsafe at any speed. A 65 Corvair after my own heart. It's a learning curve for this team.
#57 - Truckster Pinto. I thought this was the best theme.
Honorable Mentions: Loved the Faster Farms Belevedere, the Bi Polar Express, and was amazed with the performance of the TR7's, the Jaguar XJ-S, and the 914.
12/27/08