The Detroit Auto Show's more than just cars. It's also goofy faux-bots, giant foosball tables, handicapped-van rodeo, VW super-villain thrones and Hardigree expressing his disappointment of the CR-Z in a chipmunk voice. This is all of it in 60 seconds.

The existence of booth professionals is very telling. They're strategically placed to deliver details of sexy vehicles or draw cameras to unremarkable ones. Who had the most? Ze Germans, China's eZone and of course, Chrysler. It's all they did have.

Honda wants you to believe that the CR-Z is the reincarnation of the legendary CRX. It should have been — and it even looks right — but it's no CRX. How do I know? I own one.

The Detroit Auto Show was slightly less depressing than last year, thanks to an onslaught of, like, five unawful cars. Every car we covered can be found in the Jalopnik round-up below.

These 16 frames are actual screengrabs from the insane Cadillac CTS-V Coupe PR video. What it's trying to say about the end of the world below.

On paper, 805HP, 1,000lb-ft of torque, no gear changes, a center of gravity under the floor and a 0-100MPH time of 12 seconds sounds like automotive Valhalla. Then you drive the Commuter Cars Tango. Terrifying and exhausting, to start.

According to the press material, the CT&T Multi Amphibious Vehicle is the world's first amphibious EV. It's not, but it is the first to seat four. Other wild claims? A 95 MPH on-water top speed.

What's the more outrageous claim: the full-electric BYD E6 MAV will go on sale in the United States this year; it'll easily pass U.S. crash regulations; or, BYD will be the world's largest automaker by 2025?

There's hardly any new cars on show here in Detroit, but don't worry, journalists that rely on the car industry to feed them have found another way to justify their meal tickets. Apparently, the big story this year is "optimism."