Photo credit: AP Images

If you wanted to fill your miserable crapcan with mood lighting, various screens and perhaps a water feature or two, I’m sorry to report that that ship has sailed. Just ask the X to the Z himself, Xzibit, who was rather blunt to a fan who inquired about his former services from the MTV hit Pimp My Ride.

Sorry, America. We’ll have to come up with a new automotive obsession that doesn’t involve the delicate upholstery work of Ish. Xzibit is no longer in the business of putting beaters momentarily back on the road before those cars befall whatever kinds of calamities made them terrible in the first place.

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I can understand Xzibit’s frustration, though. The show never seemed to spend enough time fixing mechanical problems, and thus, rarely ended all that well for its participants. The “Where Are They Now?” roundups had their fair share of stolen cars, body damage and woe. It didn’t end well for Xzibit, either, as he landed in tax trouble after the show’s cancellation.

Xzibit later explained just how frustrating it is to be seen as the Internet’s magical purveyor of dreams in a long-winded Instagram post—because that’s totally how a level-headed dude deals with critical comments on the Internet.

Pimp your own cars, boys and girls, or “that bear is going to tear you apart.”

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Perhaps Alejandra should’ve hit up Fat Joe instead, who was responsible for pimping out the most worthy candidate in Pimp My Ride’s broadcast history for the international version: a Trabant 601 that had the structural integrity of moldy cheese. Let us enjoy this moment of two-stroke pimpin’ from simpler, happier times: