BEWARE OF HONEY CRAZED PANTSLESS BEARS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA! A big rig traveling on the 605 freeway outside of City of Industry, CA overturned, spilling 42,000 gallons of delicious, sweet, sticky honey all over the road.
The crash happened this afternoon, forcing the closure of at least three lanes of traffic, according to CBS in LA.
Big rig w/ 42,000 lbs of honey overturned on NB 605 at 60 fwy in City of Industry, only carpool lane open pic.twitter.com/TgppBs1qSN
— Julie Sone (@JulieSone) March 24, 2014
Details are sketchy, but scientists suggest that the area will soon be swarmed by yellow animated bears wearing no pants whatsoever, driven to acts of unimaginable atrocities in order to get access to that sweet, sweet honey.
They will stop at nothing. Packs of the "pooh-bears" have been known to skeletonize a cow in seconds if it is between themselves and a pot of gooey, yellow honey. The bears themselves often label the honey as "HUNNY," but motorists are to be advised that this refers to the same substance we know as honey.
If you are in the area, do not get out of your car, and do not let the honey touch your skin, as that attracts the bears.
God help us all.