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In an email titled "Hilarious/Horrifying?," a tipster sent along this picture of a TSA luggage inspection notice that came with a sexxxtra-special bonus message: GET YOUR FREAK ON GIRL. "This happened to my friend on a flight on Saturday," the tipster writes. "Apparently TSA found a 'personal item' in her bag." Hmmm, so I guess free sex coaching services are part of TSA's mission now? Nice to know they're concerned about our well-being on all fronts. More »
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This is a surveillance photo of a New Mexico State Trooper caught strip-searching a random woman with his penis on the hood of a car. What's even more funny? There's a prairie dog sitting there watching. More »
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Gentlemen, the way you drive is apparently a giveaway to women on how you'll, er, behave between the sheets. Thus spake Hoda Kotb, co-host of the Today show's 73rd hour, who will never look at cab drivers the same way again. More »
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The Virginia man accused of having sex when his car hit a taxi on the Beltway in Virginia last year was ordered by a jury to pay $22,000 — but judging by his Twitter feed, the party's still on. More »
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Teens in the '20s referred to cars as "struggle buggies" because they were ideal for humping covertly. A century later it's still true. With the help of our flexible readers, we've identified these ten best cars to have sex in. More »
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How is it there are three separate Yahoo! groups — one with over 1000 members — dedicated to the fetish of seat belts (and women strapped into them) and we've only just now found them? (Links are probably NSFW) More »
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A 1960s Volkswagen ad extolling the Beetle's easily repaired bodywork. Sexism + People's Car = Ha ha ha OW! HEY! Honey! Stop with the hitting — it was just a joke! You're a great driver! Really! [via Fox News] More »
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In the ‘70s, Mazda had an ad campaign saying that while other cars go boing, boing boing, Mazdas go Hmmmmmm. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe RX2 hails from that era, but its updates might just make you go boing! More »
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This image may be as old as the Internet, but all those Volvo Wagon owners out there (Matt) need to be reminded their cars can in fact be sexy — even if it just takes a little creative dust adjustment. More »
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You read that right: A central Georgia couple bought a minivan, couldn't make the payments, and kept the car by making their daughter perform sex acts on the dealer. The worst part? The girl was only 14. More »
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A very revealing survey of truck owners performed by PickupTrucks.com found a majority of them prefer their trucks to sex, pets and television. More »
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Earlier this week, the masculoids at Ask Men released their list of the ten best cars to have sex in — complete with positions. After careful deliberation we're prepared to warn you off these ten worst, complete with reasons. More »
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As far as fetishes go, girls in seat belts makes sense to us, it's also probably one of the safest. All we know is, we bet you'll never look at a seat belt the same way after this NSFW mega-gallery. More »
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Ever needed the whole Dragons thing explained in an hour-long documentary? Yeah, us neither, but England's Channel 5 has done just that with "My Car Is My Lover." NSFW More »
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Remember when a Michigan man was arrested after police caught him making sexy time with a car wash vacuum cleaner? Well his name is Jason LeRoy Savage and he just got 90 days in jail. More »
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If you were one of the 12 people who watched "Southland Tales" then you know what's coming: a pair of SUVs. Literally. And yes, it's NSFW. More »
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On October 18th, Police apprehended an unnamed Michigan man in the act of coitus with his chosen mistress of the night, a car wash vacuum cleaner. Police were alerted to the unnatural activities by eye witnesses and approached on foot around 6:45 AM finding the man in the act, disturbing as that thought might be. When commenting on the situation, Sgt. Gary Breidinger said "I've seen some strange things, but this is the weirdest thing I've ever heard." We're wondering how many quarters that kind of thing costs. [AP] More »
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We've seen a lot of deviance associated with the sexualization of the automobile, whether it be dragons getting busy with cars to their own theme song, or British mechanics shagging tail pipes while dressed in ladies frillies. We've even told you how to make an SIU (Sexual Interface Unit). But until now, we've never actually seen anyone having sex with a car. Well, mark that one off the list, as this incredibly drunk bloke goes to town on the front end of a Chevy Blazer. We're not even sure what the heck he's doing up there, but he sure seems to enjoy it. So do the cops. Thankfully grainy but NSFW video after the jump — have an eyewash station nearby. [Youtube] More »
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Our new favorite website, Howcast, takes on a how-to every parent dreads and every teenager delights in — how to have sex in a car. While we like to think nature taking its course would tend to work out most of the mechanics of the situation, there are some useful tips for the novice and pro alike. We especially like the tongue-in-cheek background images they managed to sneak into the cleverly produced short. Remember kids, don't do anything we wouldn't do. Not safe for work if your coworkers look down on the showing of a little leg, the word "sex" or you're a practicing Catholic who goes into convulsions at the sight of condoms spilling from a glove box. More »
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It must be car sex day around these parts because now another dragon has surfaced in Scotland. An 18-year-old is being accused of running around his Crannog Way, Kilwinning neighborhood naked and humping every vehicle in sight. Callum Ainsworth, the dragon in question, has denied the accusations and will face a trial this summer on charges of public indecency. Let's just hope he went for the tailpipe like any professional car-humper, rather than compromising the integrity of the car's body work. (Thanks, Vanessa) [Irvine Times via BB] (Image via Getty) More »
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There's not enough time in the world for the image of British mechanic Chris Donald with his hoo hoo in a cars tailpipe to fade, there are just some things you can't unsee. After the car sex aficionado scarred out fragile little minds, we assumed it was the last we'd see of that little proclivity, turns out Channel 5 isn't going to let that dead dog lie. Nope, instead they're making a documentary set to air on Channel 5 detailing the lives of two-self proclaimed "mechaphiles." Jesus, they've named it. The end of the world is nigh. (Thanks (?) for the tip Larry) [Read more at TVThrong, video from Youtube] More »
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While Google Streetview is a clever step towards total information awareness, actually doing the driving for the project has got to be mind numbingly boring. Our eyes tend to start glazing over after about 15 minutes of suburban driving, so thousands of miles through Homewood, Illinois could qualify as a ring of hell. Unless, that is, lithe young ladies start flashing skin at you. While our heroine isn't captured in all her glory, we're hoping the Googlestooge at the helm managed to get an eyeful, making it his best day at the office ever. (A tip o' the hat to Charlie) [Google Streeview via Gawker] More »
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Drivers, team bosses and senior executives from major sponsors are making elaborate plans to avoid meeting or being photographed with Max Mosley during the Monaco Grand Prix. The May 25th race will be the first Mosley will attend since the Max Mosley Sex Video leaked. According to The Times, some teams are even going as far as employing scouts to keep them informed of Mosley's location and movements. More »
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Ron Dennis has denied allegations that he was responsible for setting up the Max Mosley sex video scandal. It has been suggested that McLaren may have facilitated the News of the World investigation in response to the $100 million fine they received from FIA last year. More »
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FIA President Max Mosley has been caught on film allegedly taking part in what UK tabloid News of the World has characterized as a "Nazi orgy." Although we initially thought it was the world's zaniest April Fool's joke, we were wrong. Sick and wrong. During the five-hour video, which the tabloid also has in possession (and which we have had a quick clip from up top*) Mosley appears to be both dominated and submitting to the five hookers, who NOTW alleges were dressed both as Nazis and concentration camp prisoners. The 67-year-old, who has been married for 48 years, was at one point whipped so hard that the orgy had to be halted while a bandage was applied to stop his bleeding. More »
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Aston Martin decided to take a classy route with its latest print advertising campaign for the V8 Vantage. I've been known to be a connoisseur of all things mom, MILF and cougar-like, so I naturally give this advertisement a bold thumbs-up. But I have a feeling those parent-y types out there may have a problem with little Timmy being exposed to advertisements that so blatantly throw around the MILF acronym. Click below to see the advertisement in its full size. More »
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What only can be assumed is a device to pick up ladies on the interstate, the Callme Prism is a small LCD display that can attach to a windshield and display up to 10 different phone numbers. This is great for those times that you want to snag some highway lovin'. But if youj're on the receiving end of that amorous messaging, do you really want to be dating someone who owns a device that's sole purpose is to display a phone number to the world? More »
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Excited? Get it? It's because it's an erect penis! This moderately NSFW clip involves a young chap, two ladies and one hell of an unfortunately sub-compact penis car capable of becoming aroused. I'll have to admit, I was mildly surprised by the uncircumcised nature of the penis car. When modifying a car to look like a penis is the religious or cultural nature of the family taken into consideration? [Via] More »
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GPS Navigation has been around for quite a few years and it's a damn shame that it has taken this long for a NUDAR to come around. NUDAR is a company compiling a GPS point-of-interest file capable of directing an individual to any establishment that would provide nudity, such as (and most popularly) strip clubs, but also including nude beaches, resorts, festivals, dragons, events and more. More »
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I need to calm down for a second. The potential for this post is mind boggling—snow dicks, dragons and more! I'll just get right to the facts—this 12V-powered device runs off a car's cigarette lighter (or 12V outlet, if you don't happen to be driving around in a old Lincoln), looks like a pair of lips, fits around your willy, and sucks, period. It's available for $38 and would make a great Valentine's Day gift, to yourself, of course. Still doubting its ability? Check out the review. More »
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Fer putting in the back of your truck of course. We didn't really know how to handle this suggestively shaped 7 foot tall snow sculpture in the back of this GM pickup. We went for tact and made sure it was pseudo-worksafe above the fold, but below we have it flopped out being displayed in all its glory. How far are we willing to go to bring you the offbeat and the weird? Truck nuts indeed. More »
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Valentine's Day is coming up, and if you are anything like me, you've found yourself in peculiar situations where getting a room simply isn't an option. Carma Sutra (yuk, yuk) looks to solve that problem, or at least attempt to. We've seen a similar guide with the Haynes Sex Manual, but if you're looking to get truly adventurous in the confines of your vehicle, Carma Sutra is the only way to go. More »
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Everybody is guilty of the occasional in-car hanky panky, but a couple in The Hague, Netherlands has raised the bar. When confronted by officers suspicious of the fogged up windows (and rocking motion) the nude occupants offered a surprising excuse for their state - they claimed to be merely researching the effects of 58 erection pills. What?! Simultaneously? Sequentially? In one sitting? The 53 year old fellow and his 19 year old test volunteer almost got away with it, but the fuzz found some marijuana on the guy and summarily arrested him (out of jealousy). [Expatica.com] More »
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As some of you may remember from all the talk about the Driveshaft Through The Skull warning symbol, I'm a technical writer by trade. That means that I'm sort of a snob when it comes to automotive repair books; if I'm going to use a book to tell me that how to fix a car, by God, it's going to be the factory-issued shop manual (pounds fist on table) or nothing! None of these Chilton or Haynes or other quasi-generic guides will receive my greasy thumbprints on their pages! But UK-based Haynes now has a shop manual that leaves the car manufacturers' books in the dust: The Haynes Sex Manual! Not only does it provide step-by-step how-tos (including, we hope, the guide to the best positions to use when steaming up the windows of a Reliant Robin), but you even get handy troubleshooting flowcharts! Thanks to LTDScott for the tip! [Haynes] More »
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We've seen some pretty strange fetishes online, but this one takes the cake. It also wins points for doing exactly what it says on the tin, in very graphic detail. You really don't want to open this link at work, home or anywhere else, so don't say we didn't warn you. Dragon Heart will never be the same to us again. Don't click here More »
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Generally, when we think of strippers, we tend to think back to fall nights in Las Vegas surrounded by girls "working their way through college." But we've also known some very sharp and interesting women who've plied the trade for a time. Add another to the list. Stripper Hobo is Tara, an itinerant exotic dancer who lives out of a Chevrolet Astro with her dog. As one might expect, she's also somewhat of a hippie. We spent an hour stumbling around her blog this morning, taking in stories on everything from swapping a water pump to Alaskan hippie buses to picking the right club to work at. And don't worry, it's work-safe. Well, except for the ass-cleavage on the lead post. [Hobo Stripper] More »
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Here at Jalopnik, we really love cars. We just don't really love cars, if you get our drift. But, that doesn't make us want to discriminate against those that do. With the aim of increasing public awareness and improving garage safety we're pasting below a guide on 4-wheeled luvin', including the construction of a Sexual Interface Unit. This is seriously not safe for work. More »
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Sioux Falls police arrested 60-year old Verle Peter Dills on Tuesday after he was caught performing an unnamed sex act in another resident's yard. The Argus Leader reports that while searching his home, police uncovered a "large amount" of video showing Dills masturbating to and having sex with various traffic signs. Dills is charged with burglary, unlawful occupancy and six separate acts of public indecency.
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