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We've just learned that Harry Balz Novelties, the world's largest supplier of auto floor mats, spinners and off-brand feminine hygiene napkins, will finally shift their massive manufacturing might from 'Truck Nutz' — the most profitable product in the company's history. More »
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Yesterday, we made an observation about a picture of the new Challenger in certain magazine racks at the Memphis airport. Our take on the picture, which came from Chrysler's The Firehouse blog, was somewhat satirical. To their credit, Chrysler responded with their own commentary on the subject. That response below. More »
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After spending a billion (or three) dollars on market research, the elite Chrysler media team achieved a coup de grâce in the Muscle Car Wars by getting the new Challenger SRT8 positioned on the front partition of the southernmost magazine rack at Memphis International Airport's "LiterAIRy" bookstore/Elvis memorabilia depository. It was the greatest achievement for the automaker since securing the covers of every automotive magazine and Salt Water Fishing Weekly for the Plymouth Breeze. Said Chrysler media executive Ed Gersten, "So goes the Memphis airport, so goes America." More »
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Yes, The Onion was the first to get the exclusive details on the biggest announcement so far in 2008. This announcement is chock full of good and bad, depending on who you are. Without further ado I present to you, by way of The Onion, GM's 2008 Layoffs! More »
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El Presidente Chavez says he is happy Venezuelan driver Milka Duno and Citgo will run the Indy 500, even though no gasoline will be involved. The surprise is that Al Gore or any other American politician didn't beat El Presidente to this aggrandizement political punch, considering Indy cars have been running on alternative fuel of the alcohol kind since the '60s. This year the traditional methanol has been replaced by a home-brewed ethanol special corn blend. Milk will still be served to the winner on Sunday, who El Presidente says will be Milka. – Mike Bumbeck More »
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Hoping to best her diapered 12-hour 936 mile blast from Houston to Orlando, former astronaut Lisa Nowak is set to break the transcontinental driving record set mere minutes ago by Richard Rawlings and co-pilot Dennis Collins. Quick math indicates that with prodigious use of diapers and by increasing velocity, Nowak should be able to handily set a new record in her specially prepared Kia Rio. – Mike Bumbeck More »
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You can take Schumacher out of a racecar, but you can't take Schumacher out of the race. After a very brief retirement from the rigors of the F1 circuit, Schumacher will return as consigliere to the Ferrari F1 team. The seven-time F1 world champ will be available to assist Massa and Raikkonen take the prancing horse to victory. In the unlikely event of driver error, Mr. Schumacher will don a special helmet slapping glove and hold up a sign that says "dumbkoff". – Mike Bumbeck More »
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