Ever hear about the ‘punk rock’ episode of that old show about a coroner, Quincy? It’s a cult favorite now because of the ham-fisted way the punk subculture was portrayed, clearly by people who had only the barest of ideas of what it was. This new ad for the Jeep Renegade makes me think we’re at that point now with ‘hipsters.’

It’s strange how much venom and vitriol the idea of ‘hipsters’ gets when I hear people talk about this amorphous group of people, and I think much of the blame has to come from unbearable stereotypes like the ones Jeep has decided to use to sell the new Renegade.

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I think this is a shame, as I genuinely like the Renegade. This ad, on the other hand, feels like a copy-and-pasted car commercial made from thousands of other car commercials from the past, and for some reason they’ve chosen to populate it with some of the most painful hat-wearing jackasses to ever convert artisanal butter in to feces since the dawn of man.

Look for yourself; here’s the ad:

It’s not like the song or the scenery or the car are bad — those parts are all fine — but just imagine spending a road trip along with the people they’re associating the car with. It would be torture, right? Who are these ridiculous clichés? Does anyone want to identify with them?

Let’s see which one we want to slap with a fistful of ham first:

How about this guy? I mean, first, there’s that hat, but even more so, this guy stopped driving on a bridge to play the shit out of his harmonica. Has this act ever occurred outside of the context of a commercial? No one does this. Ever. That’s a positive. Stop looking so smug, harmonicadouche.


Oh god. Imagine driving on a road trip with this guy, the neck of his guitar poking you in the neck for hundreds of miles until you grab that fucking thing and fling it out onto I40.

And no, I’m not pulling over. A truck ran over it, okay?

Guh, this guy. That look; that snap. Why is this so irritating?

Oh shit, he’s back. He lost his hat, and now he’s losing his shit. Or maybe he’s protesting? Singing? He’s singing. In some intersection, near a bank building? What are we Occupying today?

Aw, come on! Again with this dude? Well, if you were mad about guitar boy, he’s getting what’s coming to him. Imagine being stuck back there, listening to that bootleg-Shel-Silverstein-looking blowhard go on and fucking on about how you need to get rid of 90% of your stuff or eat like a Homo Habilis or how those chemtrails make his pyloric valve swell shut.

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I do like the Renegade’s big sunroofs, since they may be the best way out for that poor bastard stuck back there.

Yeah, fucking luftballoon, you better run.

Jeep, your new Renegade looks great, seems practical, and is genuinely fun. It deserves way better than this pack of pretentious walking hatracks. Don’t pander to the kids. Just have some fun with your car.

Like, you know, drive this pack of marketing-demographic stereotypes out into the middle of some muddy woods and ditch them there.