Remarkable Canadian Idiot Drives Car With Club On Steering Wheel

Ever seen a Mark Rothko painting in person? In the right context, it's one of those subtly beautiful things that can re-ignite your faith in the value of mankind as a whole. If you want to know the exact opposite of that feeling, consider the case of this dipshit caught driving with an anti-theft Club on his car.

There's not all that much to the story: just outside of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada the 27-year old was spotted driving erratically, almost causing a head-on crash. He was stopped, they saw he was driving with a big-ass steel bar clamped to his wheel, and then — and this is the important part:

After he was charged, he took the club off the steering wheel and continued his journey, RCMP say.

So, to repeat, after he was charged, he removed the Club.

So this isn't a case of driving a stolen car with the Club still on it, or losing the key and driving it anyway out of desperation — this person could have removed the device keeping them from operating their steering wheel — often considered to be a pretty big component in car control — but decided "ah, fuck it."

Was it perhaps the most impressive display of laziness ever recorded in the West? A personal challenge to make a boring commute more exciting? An experiment with modern tiller steering? They make no mention of drugs or booze, which would at least help explain things.

As it is, the only thing to conclude is that this guy is the most deeply, profoundly stupid person I can possibly imagine. If the report continued with

"after removing the club, the suspect then began a conversation with his car's armrest, which quickly escalated into a fight, which the man lost. Immediately following the altercation, he made love to the armrest and then invested in Bitcoin futures on his smartphone, which turned out to be half a tuna sandwich."

... I wouldn't be shocked at all. Idiot.

(Thanks, Dan!)