captain slow commented on What Car Should Matt Hardigree Buy Off Of Craigslist?

"99 Mazda Miata ($7800)."

captain slow commented on Northrop Grumman Death Star Lasers Are Weapons-Grade, Could Be Out in 2008

"David Blaine is going to have them light his cigarette from space just to show how accurate it was."

captain slow commented on Once Again, We See That Girls Mature Faster Than Boys

"Sarah Conner to isle 3 please, we have a disturbance"

captain slow commented on Question of the Day: How Fast Can You Type? (Test Yourself)

"I noticed this varies depending on the keyboard you're using."

captain slow commented on Aston Martin DB4 GT Zagato

"running through the gearbox i round the last red bricked corner and there the finish line looms large, the silver audi growing ever larger in my rear view."

captain slow commented on Jeep Wrangler Skewered By Tree

"...when offroading never forget your 'crotch armor' cause you never know where evil lurks crotch armor da da da...da da da...CROTCH ARMOR...da da da...da da da...now in flat black"

captain slow commented on 30-Second Knight Rider Commercial Airs, No Turbo Boost In Sight

"i do believe the narrator, speaking into a tin can on a string, left out the always entertaining... Super Pursuit Mode err well since this is just an advetorial we'll rename it something more sponsorIFIC Super Sized Big Mac Pursuit Mode and the driver does need to say the whole thing...plus the on-board hybrid voice activated GPS does an automatic lookup to see if a McD's is within 10 miles...if it's not it won't activate"

captain slow commented on First Official Death Race Screen Shot Features an Intense-Looking Jason Statham

"isn't frankenstein the driver from Gumball in that viper that ended up with ass the wrong way up."