I have a card on the back of my monitor right now that says, "Dear Mom, Thank you for being there when I needed you!" which is adorable, but the little race car he drew under it is the kicker. The spewing exhaust cloud is labeled, "LOVE!"
Another roommie developed a massive ass cheek abscess that had to be packed daily with gauze. Instead of doing that in his own room he camped out in front of the tv in the living room and scattered his bloody pus-filled dressings all over the carpet. He did that for a week.