<![CDATA[Comments from JCWhitless]]> <![CDATA[Comments from JCWhitless]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on 2009 Acura TL Shows Us Its Rear End Yet Again]]> Bah, the real question is what boring SUV is in the reflection in the drivers door?

I say 2dr Explorer

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Progressive Automotive X Prize Mustang Claims 400 HP, 110 MPG; We Claim Baloney]]> @jarque: Can anyone find the fine print to this prize to see if Ethyl is a no no for the X prize?

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Progressive Automotive X Prize Mustang Claims 400 HP, 110 MPG; We Claim Baloney]]> "I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. Shit, I always do that, I always mess up some mundane detail"

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on New Lego Beetle Is Not Lego New Beetle]]> The only thing this has in common with the original Beetle would be piss poor handling, buoyancy, and availability of parts from toy stores.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Does YOUR Van Have Four Axles And A Sauna?]]> *lights a $100 bill on fire and chuckles, throws down a glass of Crown Royal and dives headfirst into the money bin*

BWA HA HA HA HA...MINE....ALL MINE...

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on What Is Down On The Street?]]> 62' 300? Nice ride.

My 63 suffers from some styling flaws, but still looks pretty sharp. I need to drive to Alameda to get shot by Murilee.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on 1975 Chevrolet Nova Custom]]> Had a 78' Nova, inline 6.

Took all the trim off the side, shaved and filled that stupid C-pillar grille. Oh it was stylin' and rockin'

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Telegraph: James May, Richard Hammond "May Leave" Top Gear Unless BBC Meets Salary Demands]]> HOLY CRAP- Hammond=Dudley Moore

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Saleen Developing Gibbs Aquada And Quadski For American Market]]> It better have a seat that can turn backwards for pulling skiers. This may be cool, but as a gimmick only. You can't carry the equipment or go fast enough to barefoot behind it, it ain't worth doing.

You won't be able to fish with it either, not that you would want to waste time on that foolish endeavor anyway, as you would then get arrested having an open container in a car to begin with.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on "El Camino" Name Is Still Alive For The Pontiac G8 Sport Truck]]> Diablo Caballero -- That is all

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Passport Radar Detector Includes GPS With Speed Camera Database]]> I gave up on Radar. I just carry a can of mace, a brick, and break the exterior door handles off of the car on the drivers side.

Rig up your car with flip down plates, cover up the VIN and never, ever give up your license or insurance paperwork.

Spray the cop with the mace, drop the brick on his (or her) foot, and drive like hell.

Also, fill the truck with cans of krylon, so you can change vehicle color behind a 7-11 in about 15 minutes -- The added bonus is any leftover cans can be sold to the homeless who like to huff.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on And So It Begins: Sex Traded For $100 Gas Card]]> I did try to do this with Mrs. Nussbaums credit card once. Got four tires as well. Never did get that free oven mitt, though.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on And So It Begins: Sex Traded For $100 Gas Card]]> @Naters4:

Well, I haven't gotten caught yet.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on And So It Begins: Sex Traded For $100 Gas Card]]> What car does she drive? I mean, you don't know, if she has a Camry Hybrid that $100 goes a long, long way.

Now if she has a 1987 Astro (blue and silver) with two carseats, fifteen straw wrappers, half of the "Kung Fu Panda" toy collection from McDonalds, and more juice box stains than her own box stains getting 8 mpg on three blown injectors and an O2 sensor from the Reagan administration, then she is really out of her league in pricing.

Which reminds me, we need to have a DOTS challenge. You know, every week the theme is, for example, Fender Portholes. Then we all go out and find, in their natural environment, the best fender portholes caught in the wild. Or the worst.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Transformers 2 Pictures Show *GASP* A Robot!]]> @kleinlowe: You could even have obscure Rebadgeatron

Caballero, Trailduster, Sunrunner....

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on The Math Magic Behind The GM 72-Hour Sale]]> @SeanKHotay:

ACT I
SCENE I. Elsinore. A platform before the castle.

FRANCISCO at his post. Enter to him BERNARDO
BERNARDO
Who's there?

FRANCISCO
Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself.

BERNARDO
Long live the king!

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on The Math Magic Behind The GM 72-Hour Sale]]> @tenbeers:

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on The Math Magic Behind The GM 72-Hour Sale]]> I'm at work, I'm totally cross eyed, and slightly sunburnt from driving with the top down to work today.

Dehydration+Hangover+Sunburn = Gawker Wackyness

In other words, my brain wave electrical impulses have gone all jorbly-porbly, and my sides are all calamity cranky, with my liver and intestines feeling sulltriponic.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on The Math Magic Behind The GM 72-Hour Sale]]> @layabout: These are a random collection of letters I somehow am putting into an order that can be understood by other literate humans, as I am just making my keyboard go "click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click" to amuse myself.

Also, the green glass goes in one bag, brown glass in another.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Transformers 2 Pictures Show *GASP* A Robot!]]> @Uberdude328i:

[en.wikipedia.org]

You know, Lazerbeak. Flew out of Soundwaves chest, was a metal cassette, twin to Buzzsaw, not as cool as Ravage.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Transformers 2 Pictures Show *GASP* A Robot!]]> Maybe it is Rexamus Grossmanicon? UNLEASH THE DRAGON

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Transformers 2 Pictures Show *GASP* A Robot!]]> I think that might be one of Soundwaves minions.

Lazerbeak, the only Decepticon that actually does the tasks assigned to him correctly and without fail, really does know how to find the chicks ole' Starscream wants to lay the metal mack on. Yep, the true wingman of the bad of guys, his sole mission is to scope out the chicks so that the other guys can get first pick, and he gets stuck with a two ton of dog breath no fun.

Could be worse though, Buzzsaw was teh ghey boid with bad skin and spent way to much time stalking a girl he saw putting groceries in her car at a Piggly Wiggly

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on 2009 Challenger Brochure Hits Web, Gives Us A 70s Flashback]]> Sat in a SRT Challenger over the weekend. No, the didn't let me test drive it, but it was already 'spoken for' in the back room of a dealership. They had sold the car months ago for 55k.

Black on Black with an auto. Had all the toys. You sit surprisingly high up in the car, I was under the impression they would drop it more than the Charger, but they really didn't.

All in all looked good and sounded good, the dealer even tacked in the awful push button start option.

Would I pay 55K for it? No, but the V6 in white for 2011 is looking like a keeper to ole' whitless

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on No, This Is Not A Photoshop, And Yes, It Is Staring Into Your Soul]]> Ok, here is the plan. They drop that thing off in Hollywood, right, ya feelin' me? But inside it is a bunch of neo-conservative nutjobs, like Westboro Baptists, only kinkier and into white pride, and they pull a trojan horse on their ass. Yeah, it would be like Texas, F$%K YEAH Hee Haw-Gasm.

Take that Hollywood with your girl on girl kissing scenes and obsession with Clea Duvall.

Wait, that might be my obsession.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Truck Antlers Provide Outlet For Censored Truck Nutz Owners]]> Wow, even we don't have enough tackiness to sell these or truck nutz

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Our Lives Have Been Wasted: 1986 Cadillac DeVille Fleetwood Hot Tubamino]]> If Ric Flair were a car, then this thing would be Woo, Woo, Woo.

Also, it would fall over and die after two minutes on the road.

/knife edge chop

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Commenter Of The Day: MAHONEY! Edition]]> I've watched movies in my bathroom mirror. Sure, everything is in reverse, and the old lady gets angry and deuce dropping during American Idol, but you know, both events kind of go hand in hand.

/come to think of it, I also do that during Autoline Detroit

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on 12-Year-Old Wins Dodge Caliber For Going To School]]> I read the headline totally wrong. I thought if you bought a Dodge Caliber they gave you a 12 year old girl.

Damn.

What the hell am I going to do with this gas price guarantee and this Belvidere built buzzin' CVT plastomatic Mopar?

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on A 900 HP Ferrari "Millechili" Will Make The Enzo Look Like Chopped Liver]]> Wait, the Tesla isn't a hybrid. I fail at life and to the marketing strategy of the Tesla company.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on A 900 HP Ferrari "Millechili" Will Make The Enzo Look Like Chopped Liver]]> First off, how do you pronounce that? I keep thinking 'Rob and Fab' for some reason.

Second, in this era of Green cars and Tesla hybrids, why isn't the market positioning itself for the fastest green car possible, all electric Ray-O-Vac screaming goodness.

You know, the kind of car that when you sit in it feels just like sticking your tongue to the top of a 9v battery?

Tingly electric sex hybrid power speed?

Who the hell am I kidding, you can't get an electric car to compete with Italian Gassers....

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Fool Me Once: 3D Virtual Speed Bumps]]> You know what would be funnier? Rigging up a small red ball that would pop out into the street, followed by a cutout of a six year old, eager with anticipation and full of life.

That way, the driver would swing their car sideways into oncoming traffic, causing an accident that would easily reduce speeds in the area for an hour or so.

You could also do the Illinois method, which is just shut off two lanes each way for "Construction".

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on One More Shot Of Bumblebee's Newish Camaro SS Nose]]> "Hey, come over here....Did you know the new Bumblebee is a Ki...eh, sorry, wrong person."

"Did you know the new Bumblebee is a Ki?"

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on First Photo From The Set Of Top Gear USA]]> I actually thought Tanner would be a good choice for this show last year, mainly because he can drive and knows some folks in racing. I still think a washed up Nascar "turn lefter" would be better than HGTV.

I'm thinking a Waltrip. Either one.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on The Five Best Ways To Steal Gas...And One Really Bad Way]]> @cargogh: My brother-in-law had anhydrous stolen once from his farm. He uses it for corn production, but others steal it for making meth. He said another farm had an attempted theft where the dumbass did drill the tank.

All that remained was a four foot crater, a DeWalt cordless, and a foot in a tennis shoe.

Bull

You would not leave a crater if you drilled into a tank.

You would get very frozen, very suffocated, blind, and if you are lucky, dead.

I've worked and trained around the stuff for years, it is dangerous, fatal, but all in all, not going to be in a pressurized state strong enough to blow up and just leave a foot.

I do believe the drill story however, I believe in Iowa, trying to get into a bulk tank.

/one time had a pop off let go on an overfilled tank with me on the wrong side of the wind and about 10 foot away. Felt like fire, mace, and smelled a bit like Murilee's armpits after a long day at the pick and pull scrapyard.

]]> <![CDATA[JCWhitless commented on Transformers 2 Call Sheet Leaked, Confirms Even More Autobots To Roll Out]]> Newsflash. Bay said he would release crap info for the hell of it. I don't think legally they can use the Jetfire name anyway, so this screams FAKE.

Just my 2 centavos

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