My g/f's MR2:
-Park it.
-Make sure her winter Saturn is up to par.
Sounds Jalopnik(and awesome) to me.
Innocence is not safety when it comes to this stuff. I have *never* done drugs and the last drink I had was a quarter-glass of champagne at a wedding when I was 14. However I've been *accused* of being drunk, or drunk driving, or being a druggie, etc. by cops multiple times. I've been given breathalzyer tests, and had my car searched. I was detained for 30 minutes and had my car searched for the crime of being out at 4am dressed like a goth.
So yeah, it could never happen to you, until the day it does.
Coherency, this article doesn't have it.